Success in a long term, married relationship

There are no shortcuts in Dominance and submission

There is no elevator to success in D/s|M

You have to take the stairs

Success is no accident…

Like most things in life, in order to achieve real success you will need to put in the effort.  Many Dominants want to find the hack or the shortcut to a successful D/s-M dynamic.  The secret is that there is no shortcut in a sustainable long term relationship.  In order to be successful you will need to be consistent and work at being the best that you can be every single day.  

Dominance and submission within a marriage takes constant vigilance and nurturing.  D|s-M is not the type of relationship where you can be lazy or believe that you can be active part time, when it suits you.  The Dominant is the Leader therefore the Dominant has direct ownership of the success or the failure of the dynamic. </p>

I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”

If you want to find success in anything that you do you will need to gain as much knowledge as you can absorb and practice the art relentlessly.  

I can hear my father saying this right now,  

“Nothing that is worth having ever comes easy.”

My Father

How to succeed in a Married Dominance and submissive relationship.

The greatest success comes when members thrust themselves into the lifestyle.  This can be achieved by first living the lifestyle with your submissive.  It doesn’t matter what your dynamic looks like, what matters is that you are present in your dynamic.  Show up everyday…

Next, join the husDOM community and begin to learn the language and the ropes, pun intended.

And if you ever find yourself asking for directions to the nearest elevator in your Dominance and submission relationship, stop and take the stairs.

I keep working even when no one is looking

Related Articles

HD004 – How to work smarter not harder in your Married Dominance and submission relationship.

Work smarter, not harder, and you’re married dominance and submission relationship. The phrase work smarter, not harder. I’m sure we’ve all heard this before in our lifetime, it’s nothing new. What does it really mean? And how can we apply it to our everyday lives. I broken this topic down into three easy steps or guidelines.

HD005 – How to establish confidence as a Dominant husband.

This podcast episode topic was generated from a conversation that I had while chatting with another husDOM in the Fox’s Den.  I could remember how I felt during the beginning of my Dominance and submission journey and how difficult it was to develop the true confidence.  Not the light hearted, sure I am a Dom attitude, but rather the knowing it, feeling it.  Being confident that I would do the right thing in the right moment.

HD003 – 5 Skills That Could Change Your Life, Your Marriage

Gentlemen, I am excited to announce the weekly publication of the husDOM podcast.

I was inspired to share some of my thoughts during my drive to the airport. The idea of sharing these thoughts is not to try and tell you. how you should do something or how you should think but rather to inspire some genuine curiosity and self-evaluation.

While I was thinking about why I am not striving to be a better man or striving for 110% every day of my life, I thought of 5 skills that are essential in developing a Dominant Leadership attitude.


  1. We are learning this in trying to get where we would like our dynamic and intimacy to grow to, not to get too excited or press too hard. To learn to communicate openly, and hold back even when we want to run has helped us a lot already and we are still newbs! Thanks for the reminder!

    1. Sir OTW,

      You and your minx have experienced amazing growth. You can most likely attribute that to the dedication and commitment that you both have for one another as well as for the dynamic. Leadership also plays a big part in success and certainly when it comes to taking it slowly and making methodical moves.

      It has been a pleasure watching the two of you grow and I look forward to continue watching…

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

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