HD004 – How to work smarter not harder in your Married Dominance and submission relationship.

husdom podcast



This episode is about how to work smarter and not harder in your D|s-M relationship.  What are we doing or not doing in our daily lives that is helping us reach our goals?  All of us know that we are capable of greatness but sometimes our focus or our productivity doesnt match our desires.  What can we do to help remind ourselves of what we are capable of and keep us focused on obtaining it?

Show Notes


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obsess, Canadian geese, podcast, lk, dominant, relationship, passion, smarter, guideline, task, submissive, feedback, episode, submission, purpose


Mr Fox 

Mr Fox   00:33

Hello, everybody and welcome to the show. This is Mr. Fox and you’re listening to the has Dom become a dominant leader podcast. And today’s episode, I’m going to talk about how to work smarter, not harder in your married dominance and submission relationship. But before we get started, I wanted to share with you how this topic came to mind. 

Mr Fox   00:53

The topic of work smarter, not harder in your DSM relationship. 

Mr Fox   00:58

Last week, One morning I was talking to lk on the phone. While we were talking, I was looking out of the hotel room window. And from the 12th floor, I could see a river that ran right through the middle of the downtown area. In that river. There were two Canadian geese. These geese had probably flown for days. And they were just getting started early that morning probably to continue their trip going south. However, they weren’t flying this morning. They were just floating down the river taking the sights in as they allow the current to carry themselves. Right then when I was talking to lk on the phone, I commented to her, these geese had it all figured out how to work smarter and not harder. I’m also going to share a couple of Canadian geese facts that lk told me as we continue to talk that morning on the phone. Fact number one, like swans Canadian geese are monogamous and most couples stay together throughout their lifetime. Fact number two, the flocks of Canadian geese that we see are usually consistent groups, they stay together like a tribe or a cult. 

Mr Fox   01:58

And finally, the last piece of Canadian goose trivia that lk shared with me is that when one goose falls out of formation, maybe it’s too tired, it just can’t keep up with the flock. Or maybe it’s fallen ill the rest of the geese will stay with that falling goose until either it’s able to fly again, or it passes away. So anyways, let’s get into today’s podcast. And we’re going to talk how to work smarter not harder in your married dominance and submission relationship. 

Mr Fox   02:29

Let me just say how excited I am at the results and the positive feedback we’re getting from the podcast. Last week we put out Episode Two, only two episodes out there. Not only am I getting great feedback within our community, but also I checked the stats on day three, it was listened to in seven countries on day three, just Episode Two, I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when we get to Episode 200. So you guys are here for the movement, the married dominance, and submission movement. I want to thank everybody, thank everybody for their positive feedback, and all the downloads that we’ve been receiving. If you haven’t done it yet, please, inside your podcast app, please give us a five-star rating. Let us know what you think of the podcast. I hope it’s positive. And I’m always looking for feedback it has done. Thank you gentlemen. 

Mr Fox   03:21

Work smarter, not harder, and your married dominance and submission relationship. The phrase work smarter, not harder. I’m sure we’ve all heard this before in our lifetime, it’s nothing new. What does it really mean? And how can we apply it to our everyday lives. I broken this topic down into three easy steps or guidelines. 

Mr Fox   03:40

Step number one is do less than obsess. For many years we’ve had others tell us that in order to be more effective, we need to spend more of our time on the things that are more important to us. That’s the do less part. This does not mean to do less work. It means to do less of the things that are not bearing fruit in our lives. To stay focus on the things that will make us better things that will fill our lives with abundance, things that will allow us to reach new heights and enable us to become the dominant leader that we desire to be. part two of this phrase is what is often overlooked. It’s not about just doing less or doing less than quantity, but rather we need to obsess. When we do less we’re making room we’re allowing ourselves to obsess. top performers definitely focus on fewer goals, but they also obsessed like crazy over them.

Mr Fox   04:34

Cut the activities that aren’t producing value in your life. What are you doing that is not producing value in your life or moving you closer to your goals? I can tell you that for myself. One of the biggest challenges would be maintaining a proper list. A list helps me stay on track. It helps me stay focused when I complete one task and I’m ready to move on to the next task. If I don’t have a proper list of tasks of what’s important to me to help me achieve My goals, I often get stuck in the time waste trap. I check my emails, heck, maybe I even check them twice. I look at the latest website, maybe podcasts statistics, I look for telegram messages. Maybe I checked my texts, I sometimes look at a news app. When I have a prioritized daily list of tasks, I can flow from one task cleanly into the next one allowing me to be much more efficient with my time. This also allows me to stay focused, and to obsess my attention into what’s important. And shed the time killers are the productivity killers. So I would ask you, what is killing your time and efficiency? What are you doing between tasks that’s killing your productivity? Do you check your email every five minutes? Like me? Maybe you look at a Facebook app or some other social media app, are you checking sports scores? Is there another app is your favorite app? What is killing your time and crippling your productivity? 

Mr Fox   06:04

Number two, hone your skill. honing or sharpening your skill is not just about putting your time in. Don’t fool yourself here. If you want to see results in your life, your marriage, your relationships, you have to challenge yourself focused directly at the task at hand, putting everything that you have into it. Just putting the time in without the hard work and dedication will not hone or sharpen any skill. Here are a few things that I tried to focus on to help me develop and nurture my skills. to hone your skill to really sharpen your skill to an expert level on something, choose one skill to develop at a time. Next review daily. At the end of each night I journal, I look at my task list. I look at the things that I’ve done, I evaluate how my day went, and how I could have been more efficient or effective with my time, I look for what I did, right? And I also look at where I could have made improvements. Another powerful tool for sharpening your skill is to isolate micro behaviors. What are other people doing that have achieved the results that you’re trying to achieve? A great place to do that would be on the husDom community. Finally get feedback. Oftentimes that feedback comes from lk during downtime. 

Mr Fox   07:21

The third and final guideline to working smarter not harder, is to feel passion and purpose. Successful people don’t merely just follow their passion. They also need a sense of purpose and what they do. What is passion? passion is the excitement and enthusiasm in what you’re doing. When it comes to being a dominant leader or your DSM relationship. What is it that really excites you? That is your passion? What’s your passion? Is it sexual in nature, like when you finish a scene, and your submissive can’t move or even speak? Is it in the relationship? Is it that unexplained trust and respect that you get from your submissive? What is your passion? purpose is about creating value for others in a way that is personally meaningful to yourself. For many of us dominance, we don’t have much difficulty finding our purpose. But I will challenge you to think about this today. What is your purpose? What value are you creating as the dominant for others? And how does that reflect on you? How is it meaningful to you? So we’ve talked about three guidelines to help us all work smarter, and not harder in our dominance and submission relationships. 

Mr Fox   08:33

Let’s summarize what we’ve discussed. First, do less than obsess. doing less does not mean to do less than quantity, but rather to do less of what is not moving us forward towards our personal goals. And not to forget the second half of that is to obsess we need to do it with intent and meaning. Our second guideline is hone your skill. If you want to up your game in life, you have to push yourself to allow yourself the opportunity for growth. Push yourself and focus on how to make yourself better. Learn from your journey. And finally, we talked about passion and purpose. Passion is the enthusiasm and excitement you have in whatever it is that you’re doing. Purpose is creating the value for others that is personally meaningful to you.

Mr Fox   09:25

And that’s going to wrap up this week’s episode of has Dom become a dominant leader. If you have any questions or comments, you can go to Hassan comm backslash podcast. Look for this episode Episode Three. You can go to the bottom of the page and leave any comments you can ask any questions and I’ll get back to you. Have a great week, gentlemen


  • Mr Fox 


5 Skills That Could Change Your Life, Your Marriage


men, life, confidence, discipline, purpose, work, courage, leader, today, consistency, slip, action, attributes, healthy, struggle, normal routine, drive, consistently, habit, succeed

Mr Fox   01:03

Today as I was driving into the airport, I started thinking about how I’ve let something in my personal life slip, something that’s been very important to me over the years. And I was trying to figure out why.  It’s working out!

Mr Fox   01:18

And sometime after COVID hit, I don’t know what happened. Don’t there’s not a date, just somehow, over time, maybe as the gyms were closing, maybe as the fear of getting COVID from being in a gym, everybody breathing hard. I don’t know what it was. But somewhere it slipped out of my normal routine. I can make up any excuse that I want. The reality is, I have weights in my basement. And when I’m at home, I typically work out at home. Why did I lose the habit? I don’t know. Some people see working out as a negative, they can’t stand it. They hate every minute of it. I’m not that person, I actually enjoy it. I enjoy doing it. I enjoy the feeling that I get afterward. I enjoy the confidence that it gives me, the clarity in my mind, my mindset, the discipline that I have from following that routine and that schedule.  The discipline and how it rolls over to other aspects of my life. I enjoy working out. Why did I stop? 

Mr Fox   02:13

The interesting thing was is as I started thinking about it, I realized that I also I don’t eat healthy anymore. Again, for myself really unusual. I’m that weird guy that likes to eat food that’s good for you. It’s not a challenge for me. I don’t feel like I’m choking it down or anything. I prefer it. I know. That’s crazy. So I start thinking now why am I eating, not so healthy? And I started thinking, well, it takes more effort to go to the store to get perishable food that would be healthy. Right? I got this thing that’s packaged in plastic where I can open it up and eat at any time. It’ll last a week, it’ll last two. But really, at the end of the day, I would prefer to have fresh fruit. So again, why did I let it slip? For myself? I see it as some sort of lack of discipline. Now I have two things. It’s my workout. It’s my diet. So then it strikes me this lack of discipline, this lack of purpose. It’s not compartmentalized to just my workout and just my diet. I’d be lying to myself, if I said it was, right?  These are the two things that I was thinking about it as I was driving into the airport today.  This attitude shift whatever happened, it’s got to be negatively affecting all aspects of my life to some degree, whether I want to admit it or not. It has to.  There’s no question in my mind, that it’s affected my relationship as well. My relationship with lk, my relationship with my children, other people.  Quite honestly, I don’t even need to know why. I don’t even care why. I know that I’m recognizing it today. And I’m going to put things back in order. Start making those changes, so I can start becoming the man that I want to be. So as I think about getting my own life back on track, I began to think about how this relates to probably many men’s struggles. Right? I’m not alone. I’m not having these same struggles by myself. There are probably hundreds 1000s hundreds of 1000s of people that share this with me. Right? So how do we get back to making sustainable changes in our lives? How do we get back to that? How do we get on the course to be the man that we’re supposed to be? These are my thoughts today. I’m just gonna shoot from the hip. I’ve come up with five principles. They’re not the holy grail, right? But it’s gonna change your life to change your relationship. I guarantee it. If we start thinking about life through these five filters, we’re going to make some positive changes in our lives. 

Mr Fox   04:34

Number one is courage. 

Mr Fox   04:36

We need courage in order to take action. Almost everything around us in society has conditioned us to accept mediocrity. We as men, in many ways, are discouraged from making ourselves better and desiring to be a leader. We need to develop the courage to take positive action in our lives and to be proud of that action. Don’t be discouraged by your perception of what others may think.  It takes courage in our society to want to be better. You want to be a better man, a better father, a better husband, a better dominant.  Your success will make others uncomfortable. Press through it.  Don’t allow your life to be mediocre because others don’t have the courage to make their lives better. 

Mr Fox   05:20

Number two, Confidence. 

Mr Fox   05:23

One of the most basic attributes, but quite possibly the most difficult attribute to obtain is a true genuine, authentic confidence. Confidence is developed as we become more proficient in anything that we do. The goal is overall proficiency and growing as a man and growing as the Father, the husband, the dominant the leader. As we hone these skills and become proficient in these skills, we will gain true confidence to provide and overcome and succeed and everything that we do. Oftentimes, we can gain confidence by those that are in our charge, those that we are leading. They’re the ones that have seen our success. They know that we have the ability to succeed.  They’ve been there for us while we’ve done it. This is where your partner, your wife, your submissive can get you up out of that recliner. And you can become the leader that lies within you.  To help find the true potential in your life. This isn’t topping from the bottom. This is how a healthy relationship is supposed to work. We support one another and help each other. Help reach the potential to become the best that we can be. It’s what a marriage is supposed to be. It’s teamwork.

Mr Fox   06:34

Number three, Discipline and Purpose. 

Mr Fox   06:38

Discipline is accomplished only after we have the courage to take action. And we have developed the confidence in our abilities to succeed. We need a purpose in order to find discipline. What’s your purpose? Our purpose will look different for everyone. Are you doing it for yourself? Are you doing it for your wife, are you doing it for your family. It’s been my experience while talking to mentoring coaching many men along their journeys that for whatever reason, men struggle to truly take action for themselves. Maybe it just feels wrong, maybe they feel guilty. With that guilt. They’ve only been half in.  Half in the game for so many years.  Or they haven’t been committed 100% or fully committed to the development of their loved ones, their children, their families, their friends, their wives, their submissives.  Many men need a bigger purpose than themselves to start the process of personal growth. What will be your motivator? What is your drive?  For many men in the beginning their personal growth and development. Their purpose, if you will, is for those around them. For those that are in their charge. The thought of bettering their children or their spouse is often their purpose.  It is more powerful than bettering themselves. Somehow there’s guilt in that, especially in today’s society.  The dominant the leadership, the man the masculinity, somehow those aren’t popular things. 

Mr Fox   08:01

Number four, Consistency. 

Mr Fox   08:04

Once we found the Courage to take action, the Confidence that we can carve our own path that we’re doing the right thing, and we found our Discipline or our Purpose, and why we’re doing this, we now need Consistency to make it effective. All of the prior attributes without consistency aren’t going to make any distinguishable changes in our lives, we can want it, right?  We can have the courage to do it. So we can take action, we can find confidence in doing it. We can even find its purpose. But if we don’t work on this skill consistently, it really isn’t going to change our lives at all. Up until now, we’ve created an intention of change. Now we need to put that intention to work. And with doing so we need to work at it consistently to make any real change in our lives. 

Mr Fox   08:54

Number five is Sustainability. 

Mr Fox   08:57

This is the goal, right? We want to make a sustainable change in our lives. We don’t want to do 75% of the work, and then not have it stick. In order to have sustainability, we need to have done it consistently. That consistency transforms what we once had to work hard to maintain to just being a way of life.  We begin to build a habit. That’s ultimately what we’re going for. So it doesn’t take an effort. It’s not a struggle, it just becomes who we are. So if you are like me today, if you can look at something in your life, and maybe multiple things. I’ve identified two on the drive to work. But with those two, I realized that there’s more work to do like, like instead of growing and being better, I’m shrinking every day as the leader is the man. Right? There’s something that has let down in me where I’m not trying to achieve greatness every day. And I don’t know what it was, but I’m recognizing it today. This is my three steps forward and two steps back. This must be one of those steps back but it ends today with me and I hope that if anybody feels the same way or can recognize something in their lives that I’m recognizing, in my own today that you’ll use some of these five steps to help get you out of the rut. And we can begin developing ourselves into better men and better husbands, better fathers, better leaders, better dominance. That’s what we’re trying to do in life every day. 1% better every day. Join me every week on this podcast, as we work to become better leaders, better dominance, better husbands and better men. 

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