Planning and Scheduling a BDSM Scene, D/s-Married Couples

Planning and Scheduling a BDSM Scene, D/s-Married Couples

Dominance and submission scene planning.

My lk and I schedule a full on BDSM scene about every other week.  We plan approximately 4 hours for each D/s scene.  Usually, a few hours afterward a scene or the following day,  I like to discuss the scene with her. I ask lk what she thought of the scene in general.  What she liked the most.  What she liked the least.  If there would have been anything that she preferred that I did or didn’t do.  Things of that nature.

Things that will help me grow as a husDOM™.   We have grown to consider this time communicating with one another as Downtime.   Well today she looked at me and said, “Did you have a plan?”

Did you have a plan?

Well of course I had a plan!  I began telling her my well thought out plan from the beginning, defending every move, every stroke, every word.  Finally it hit me, this was her perception of our BDSM scene.  The absolute most important perception there is.  It is why I aPlanning and Scheduling a BDSM Scene, D/s-Married Couplesm doing what I do and she had just confirmed that her perception was different then my own.

Time to stop defending myself and simply listen for a minute.  I stopped talking and asked her, what part didn’t seem like I had a purpose or a plan.  She honed in on the exact second that my original plan needed a slight alteration.  It has been my experience that even the best laid plan will need to be refined once and a while and usually in the heat of the moment.

Damn, how did she do that? I thought it went almost flawless.  After further exploration I realized that it wasn’t that moment at all that cast doubt about my plan in her mind.

She felt as though I didn’t have a plan because I hadn’t asked her to prepare in any special manner for our D/s scene.

Previously, I had always sent my submissive a note several days in advance detailing my needs and expectations of her.  These were little things like;

 

 

A Dominant’s Desires

How I wanted her hair, dry or damp so that I could braid it.
What color finger nail and toe nail polish I wanted her to wear.
What color lip gloss or lip stick if any at all.
What style make up! none, light, slutty.
What I want her to wear for example, panties- type, color.
Music- type
Shoes – none, high heels, boots.
Where and when I expect her.
Etc…

These are the things that show my submissive that her dominant is thinking about her before our special day.  These are the things that help my submissive prepare psychologically that build the moment.

These special requests should be about what the dominant desires and expects.  They should reflect his preferences.  This allows the submissive an opportunity to prepare herself.  It also gives the submissive a way to please her dominant, part of the build.

“That’s what feeds a submissive. You tell us what you want and we give it to you in order to please you, Sir.”

Do you have a plan? 

– Please have your submissive’s register at subMrs.com

 

BDSM Scene Planning and Scheduling

D/s Scene Planning

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6 Comments
  1. Loving Liege 5 years ago

    Mr. Fox,

    Reading your older posts obviously.

    This is a great heads up.

    As always thank you.

    LL

    • Author

      Loving Liege,

      My apologies… Somehow this comment had slipped past me without notice…

      Beyond the aspect of how LK and I conduct our scenes this is a great example of how we need to be aware, listen and ask questions and not rush to defend ourselves. After effectively listening to my LK afforded me the opportunity to get to the heart of the issue. The real issue turned out to be completely different than what I had originally thought that it was…

      Best wishes,

      Mr. Fox

  2. masterN8 5 years ago

    Mr. Fox,

    Great article on planning. I continue to draw several ideas from you, your site and the Doms that contribute. Thank you.

    My intent is to read all of the archives at one point.

    • Author

      MasterN8,

      Thank you for the kind words!

      It would appear as though when I transitioned to my husDom.com address that not all of the pictures AND the comments transferred properly.

      I realize that everyone scenes differently but it was a subtle change in my own routine that changed my Little Kaninchen’s perception about my commitment toward out play.

      Thank you for the comment,

      Mr. Fox

  3. Mr. K sir 2 years ago

    Mr Fox,

    After reading this post for the second time I realized that when I plan a scene I am so focused on planning what I want to do that I neglect to think about how I want my little Dea to prepare herself hot me. Both of us being new to this I doubt she even realizes this, as I hadn’t thought of it either. This realization has made me open my eyes to the fact I need to feed my sub more during the days building up to our scenes. I thank you for leading me to this revelation and I’m sure my little Dea will thank you as well after our next scene.

    Mr. K sir

  4. Author

    Mr K Sir,

    I am glad that my experience can help others. Without lk’s input during our discussion that particular day, I may still not have considered her perspective. And learning that her perspective is her reality has been one of my most important lessons while on this journey.

    Best wishes,

    Mr Fox

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