HD014 – 5 Practical Ways to Lead with Masculinity in a Relationship


In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss five practical ways to lead with masculinity in your relationship. We often hear people talk about being the leader in their relationship. Leadership is a core trait of the divine masculine energy, like dominance. If I had to choose a single word to describe masculine energy to someone, it would be leadership. Well, we don’t hear people talking about us frequently is what dominant leadership looks like and how it actually shows up in our everyday lives. And in our relationships. Today’s discussion is meant to help devise some sort of actionable guideline that you can use to either get started towards an amazing relationship or marriage. For those of you who are already on this path, here is a guideline to help enhance and hone those skills needed for an amazing relationship or marriage. These five steps regarding leading with masculinity are transferable to all types of leadership and relationships in general. Think of it as building your masculine core. These five steps will help you become a better masculine leader and a better masculine man.

Show Notes

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HD014 – 5 Practical Ways to Lead with Masculinity

Wed, Aug 23, 2023 11:22PM • 25:32


relationship, masculinity, leader, masculine, partner, men, lead, leadership, initiator, initiating, today, wife, expectations, initiative, marriage, women, dominant, set, flogger, serving


Mr Fox   01:00

welcome everyone. This is Mr. Fox, the host and founder of the has DOM dominant leader podcast, a community of men choosing masculinity, striving for excellence and fulfillment in all areas of our lives with some kinky dominance and submission BDSM fun as well.

Mr Fox   01:25

In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss five practical ways to lead with masculinity in your relationship. We often hear people talk about being the leader in their relationship. Leadership is a core trait of the divine masculine energy, like dominance, if I had to choose a single word to describe masculine energy to someone, it would be leadership. Well, we don’t hear people talking about us frequently is what dominant leadership looks like, and how it actually shows up in our everyday lives. And in our relationships. Today’s discussion is meant to help to devise some sort of actionable guideline that you can use to either get started towards an amazing relationship or marriage. For for those of you that are already on this path, a guideline to help enhance and to hone those skills needed for an amazing relationship or marriage. These five steps regarding leading with masculinity are transferable to all types of leadership and relationships in general. Think of it as building your masculine core. These five steps are going to help you become a better masculine leader and a better masculine man.

Mr Fox   02:56

All right, everyone, let’s get to today’s topic, five practical ways to lead with masculinity in your relationship. Number one, embrace the masculine role in the relationship. Some people will inherently tune out the subject of masculinity with the belief that it is politically incorrect, and that all masculinity is toxic. We often find that the people with this approach and mindset also view masculinity as a gender, more specifically the male gender. For these people, men are all too often the culprit for most of if not all of the woes in the world. The truth is, masculinity is a trait or a characteristic. I like to use the word energy. It is not truth because I say it is it is truth because every definition in every dictionary that I have looked at describes masculinity as an attribute or characteristic and says nothing of it being based on a gender. The world needs more masculinity today than ever. Masculinity is not a shameful word that we should shy away from. Masculinity is about action, leaning forward, assertiveness, decision making, protection providing excetera it doesn’t matter the sex of the individual that’s doing any of these masculine things, or having or displaying masculine characteristics. Masculinity is the other half of all of relationships, the balance if you will. You cannot have a healthy, feminine without the healthy counterpart of masculine embrace the role of masculinity in your relationship. Step up and take the lead. Lead your relationship to a place of deeper trust. Better communication and more powerful intimacy. As you will learn, it is not an easy path. But it is a rewarding path if you own it. Number two, be the initiator. This is another monumental piece of importance. And I personally don’t feel that enough men are taking the initiative at home and in their relationship. Women are practically begging men to step up and take the lead. Taking the lead is to take action. Initiate something in your relationship, this is what women want. A masculine leader is responsible for the relationship responsible for the marriage. It is the masculine dominant leader that sets the relationship firmly on a solid foundation. You as the leader should always be pressing forward in your relationship, it should be you that is taking the first step and not her, you should be finding opportunities and ways to keep your marriage fresh. Your marriage on track. Most likely many of us men are doing this at work with our friends, our peers. But for some reason we’re not stepping up. We’re not doing this at home, we seem to have no problem initiating new thoughts and concepts, new ideas everywhere in life, with the exception of at home in our intimate relationships. A leader doesn’t expect opportunities to come to him, he looks for them. He’s always searching, always looking forward. And if you don’t take the initiative, then you’re waiting for someone anyone to take the next step. And that makes them the leader. It doesn’t matter who leads really, really it doesn’t. The feminine essence doesn’t want to lead the relationship. It’s not in their nature. Their leadership is born out of no one taking the initiative, no one taking the lead. Engage your partner to maintain and strengthen your relationship. Engaging your partner is you getting them involved or getting them to participate in the relationship. Don’t sit back and wait on the feminine partner to initiate things within the relationship. Sure she is capable of initiating and probably has been the initiator for most of if not all of the relationship up to this point. But it’s not in the feminine ‘s responsibility nor and their nature their natural characteristic. As leaders as masculine leaders, we need to care enough to step up and forge plans within our own relationships. The masculine has no room for laziness, we must refuse the status quo. The masculine leaders are never waiting on someone or something else. When she does this, I’ll do that. Right that philosophy doesn’t work that tit for tat. Instead of grumbling about things in the relationship, the masculine leader develops solutions. It is the masculine dominant leader that will steer the relationship towards the resolution in a way of integrity. They seek to understand the desires of their wives and to meet their needs. Silence here is deadly. Masculinity can breathe new life into a marriage by guiding the communication. As the leader take the initiative. Brainstorm ideas to strengthen the relationship while also building trust. When talking with your wife or your partner try statements that begin with let’s let’s figure out a good plan or a strategy for tomorrow. Let’s talk about our plans for next week. Another good way to start the conversation is what? What do you think about going on vacation at the end of August? What are your thoughts about X, Y and Z? As the leader own the communication, break down the barriers and set the stage for open and honest communication. This will allow the feminine to be heard and respected and submit freely. Invest the effort and overcome your fear. When initiating take the first step without fear of rejection. Many men get bogged down here because they don’t want to come off as domineering. And honestly, that is a pretty valid concern. The domineering man is the one that just makes decisions and doesn’t do any consultation beforehand. He doesn’t care about what his partner wants, what she needs or what she feels. He’s solely making decisions on his behalf and decisions to his benefit. A masculine dominant leader will encourage his wife and set the tone in the relationship. If you took the time to invest in engaging your partner, and having an open dialogue about the topic at hand, you should be able to take action with the confidence that you are both on the same page. You have already solicited and listened to her input. You did so with a genuine clear and open mind and heard what she had to say. When men encourage devotion, problem solving, it make an effort to spend quality time together, a woman will feel valued. Women trusts a man who values and cares about her enough to sacrifice his time. Women want a confident man who makes sound decisions and has a plan that nurtures their future and their well being. Contrary to being an initiator would be the lazy passive man, the recliner husband, as LK would say, the man that never has or offers an opinion or expects his wife to always be nurturing and cultivating their relationship. Some men may even feel that their relationship is fine the way that it is, but that would come from an emasculated man. The masculine is always leaning forward. A lazy passive attitude will not earn respect. Are you like me? Do you find floggers sexy and as a symbol of dominance in the bedroom? You want to purchase a quality flogger, but don’t know what you really want, or what you really need. Are you wondering what makes a quality flogger and how you know exactly what you are purchasing and why Fox and Hare floggers prides themselves on hand crafting the ultimate flogger experience for both the top and the bottom. These luxurious floggers are designed with purpose. A fox and Hare flogger is much more than just beautiful. They have done extensive research on what attributes give a flogger maximum consistency and performance. Check out these magnificent floggers on Fox and hare.com today. Number three, lead by example. Men and women alike sometimes believe that leadership is wearing the pants in the relationship or being the boss. Leadership is so much more complex than simple dictatorship.

Mr Fox   12:42

Leading by example isn’t knowing all of the answers and making all of the decisions and setting all of the rules leading by example is aligning what you say and what you do to ensure that you are displaying proper behavior. Yes, this is about your behavior. When you set an expectation as a leader, it should have purpose in be meaningful to you. And if the expectation is important to you? Wouldn’t you want to hold yourself to the same standards as you project onto others? When you’re setting the example of behavior, is it easier to ask others or to expect others to follow your desires, if you yourself are already walking the talk? Have you ever had a boss that would have expectations for their employees? But the same exact expectations did not apply to them? For example? Maybe they would expect everyone to show up to work on time. That seems reasonable, doesn’t it? What if the boss himself doesn’t show up on time? What if it were only a couple of times a year that he was tardy? Would it matter? It wouldn’t really matter how many times he was late, I’m pretty sure it could be just once. But if the employees are held to the standard of being to work on time, they will almost instantly resent the boss for his tardiness. And rightfully so, in my opinion. They would view it as poor leadership and begin to lose their trust in the leader. If being on time are truly important, then he would do it as well, wouldn’t he? If the leader doesn’t value punctuality, then it must not be as important as he says it is. Our actions are very important as leaders. What about the way we speak? Are we patient and are we kind or are we sharp and demanding? As leaders we should speak from a place of where we build people up and encourage them to be better Here’s a question. Does your wife’s eyes light up when you speak to her or about her? Or do you send her away and shame and humiliation? How are you loving your wife? Number four, love unconditionally. A lot of our journey into masculine leadership is about learning to take care of, and to love ourselves. Developing a healthy discipline of self care. Never lose sight that you should love your wife. As you love yourself. A leader is not superior to the people that he leads. Being a good leader is based on a set of skill sets and the willingness to selflessly shoulder the responsibility with no expectation in return. A masculine dominant husband is the leader of the marriage, but he is not superior to his wife, a husband and wife are equal partners within the marriage, each fulfilling different roles in the relationship. Their presence in the relationship and their opinions are set as equals. In other words, they are both present or all in on the relationship. His voice his opinion, his wants and needs do not drown hers out. The leader does not hold a larger amount of ownership or Dominion in the relationship than his partner. It’s not like owning a stock or shares in a company where someone may own more shares than others. Each partner has a 5050 stake in the relationship. The leader does, however, hold the lion’s share of responsibility, and accountability. Oftentimes men see leadership as leading individuals. To some degree this may be true, but leadership of a relationship is on a much larger scale. Leadership in your relationship is affecting all aspects of the relationship, including the relationship itself. When loving your partner unconditionally, there is no space for the male ego. Masculine dominant leaders need to work on understanding, developing and nurturing some of our feminine traits and characteristics. attributes such as compassion and empathy, and forgiveness are skill sets that may not come naturally to the masculine essence. Love is about putting the other person in their needs above your own self sacrifice, if you will. By loving your partner unconditionally, you allow them the confidence, knowing that no matter what trials and tribulations come along during this journey, that you will be there for them, that you will have their back. This is particularly important to them, as they have opened themselves up to you and allow themselves the deepest vulnerabilities out there. This vulnerability is built on immense trust. Before a woman can achieve this level of vulnerability, there needs to be no doubt in her mind, that you will love her unconditionally, that you will love her for all of her goodness and virtue and all of her positive feminine characteristics, as well as when she has a devastated wreck that just needs to be held. And finally, number five, lead by serving an essential aspect of leadership is sacrificial service. By serving others you set the tone. Relationships are about caring for and lifting one another up. Have you ever put yourself or your current needs behind that of your loved one? At the end of a long day, when maybe both of you are exhausted? Have you ever offered to maybe wash her in the shower? Maybe scrub her back, wash her hair, even though you can hardly hold your own arms up. Have you ever offered a back rub when you just want to lay down because you are completely exhausted? There are many things that you can do as the leader to demonstrate serving your partner. Other examples of serving as the leader would be active listening. When you’re having a conversation with your partner, are you fully present? Are you focused on making sure that you have heard what they are trying to say what they are trying to communicate to you? Do you allow them the opportunity to be heard? Are they left with the knowledge and the feeling of actually being heard? Empathy? Always assume that your partner is coming into the relationship with the best of intentions. Keep an open mind and foster their creativity, healing and support provide your partner the resources and the support needed for their success. This could look like coaching, a mentorship program, a woman’s group, etc. Awareness, implement a constant feedback loop where your spouse or partner can let you know what works for them and what doesn’t. Through our method, we have created a feedback loop that we call downtime. You can find out more about downtime by going to has dom.com backslash downtime, serving others demonstrates your care and your compassion as a leader.

Mr Fox   20:44

Today, we have discussed five practical ways to lead with masculinity in your relationship. Number one was embracing the role of masculinity in your relationship. Masculinity has been tarnished and weaponized over the past several decades. Today, just the mere use of the word is politically charged. When I use the word out loud, I can see some people cringe, as if it’s disrespectful, or hurtful to others. Masculinity is as natural and crucial in today’s world as femininity. Both of these energies are essential in cultivating and nurturing a healthy relationship with our partners, embrace and lean into the role as a masculine man in your relationship. Number two on our list today was be the initiator. As a leader, we should be leading in all areas of our lives. And this includes in our personal intimate relationships. One area that is often overlooked is that initiating intimacy within the bedroom as the masculine leader, this too falls under our responsibilities. So let me ask you, do you still take the initiative in the bedroom? Or are you waiting for the stars to align in the proper orbit? Are you taking the initiative and starting deep meaningful conversations with your spouse or partner? Or are you waiting for her to start the conversation? Or maybe you too, are just not having any conversations of value any longer at all? Are you taking the initiative in going on a date or what you’re doing this weekend, or even what you’re doing as a couple tonight, the masculine leaders are the ones that are supposed to be taking the initiative in our intimate relationships. Once you have embraced your role of masculinity in your relationship, it is up to you to become the initiator within the relationship as well. Number three, lead by example. Remember that we as leaders are always setting the bar. It is our own behavior that will most likely be mirrored back to us. If we set expectations and don’t live by those expectations ourselves, we can reasonably expect that others will not respect them. Unless of course those expectations fall within the other person’s values anyways, meaning that they are really only living to their own personal values and their own expectations and their values happen to overlap. When we speak as leaders, we are setting the tone, the tone of how we expect others to talk to each other, and how they can speak to us. If we speak to them without patience and dignity, than we are giving them permission to treat us the same. Number four love unconditionally. The leader is not above anyone in their charge. They stand on equal footing with their partner. Unconditional Love is when you love someone no matter what they do, and you have no expectation of what you will get in return. It means that you love someone completely with no strings attached. Unconditional Love promotes trust. And trust is a key component in creating and providing that protection and emotional safety that the feminine energy blossoms in. Ask questions and listen without judgment or recourse. Be firm but do not demand or condemn. Respect your partner by honoring her voice and her opinion. lead with love by listening to your partner’s needs and concerns when making decisions. Number five, lead by serving one of the most powerful examples of leading by serving would be listening. Listening is a powerful tool of serving. It is important to let your partner know that they’re being heard and there relationship and that what they have to say is important to you. Be sure to give your wife your full attention when they are speaking to you. Listen before offering any constructive feedback.

All right, gentlemen, that wraps up this week’s episode of How Azzam become a dominant leader podcasts. Thanks for joining me and I look forward to talking to you again next week.

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