Total Power Exchange (TPE) | Dominant Training

TPE, Total Power Exchange,

Recently someone had written me an email and referenced a TPE or Total Power Exchange relationship.  HusDOM™ is not written through the eyes of a Master but rather through the eyes of a Dominant husband.  I am sharing my journey into the D/s-M lifestyle to help others navigate their own journeys more easily.  There are several terms within the BDSM community that I feel, have specific meanings, and are all too often incorrectly interchanged.   Total Power Exchange is one of those terms.

The Total Power Exchange (TPE) is when one of the partners gives up total power and control to the other partner.  A Total Power Exchange is also sometimes referred to as an Absolute Power Exchange or Consensual Slavery.

TPE, Total Power Exchange,
Total Power Exchange in a Marriage

Total Power Exchange (TPE)

A Total Power Exchange means that you have given up complete control to another person.

Along with this control, you have also surrendered all of your rights as a person. The submissive is truly considered the other person’s property.

You are not just the Dominant’s submissive any longer, you are now the Dominant’s slave, consensual slavery. This type of commitment requires absolute and unconditional surrender.

The slave’s limits are not set by her in a TPE dynamic, rather they are set by her master. Think about that for a minute.  A slave has no limits.  Her limits are whatever her Master desires.  A slave’s master has total control over her.  A slave doesn’t have the luxury to set her own hard and soft limits, a slave’s limits are set by her master.  Again, a slave’s limits are whatever her Master desires.  Safewords are not afforded to a slave.

In a true TPE relationship, a slave has given up or “exchanged” her rights, all of her rights.  These surrendered rights are exchanged for the protection and care of her Master.  The Master no longer requires the slave’s consent for anything.

Kaninchen and I do not have a Total Power Exchange relationship. Little Kaninchen is not my slave but rather my submissive.  As a husDOM™ I do not own her and her submission, I am continually working toward and earning her submission every day.

Power Exchange Circle

Our power exchange would best be described by the Power Exchange Circle, D/s-M Circle, that Kaninchen and I have created in order to articulate our exchange.  lk has chosen me to be the leader of our relationship and has gifted her submission to me and in turn, I offer her my dominance.  By doing this we continue to feed one another’s mind, body, and soul.

Though I am her Dominant and she is my submissive, she can withdraw her submission at any time, which in turn would emasculate my dominance.   I do not own her as then she would be a slave.  This D/s-M circle is what keeps us both actively engaged and encourages us both to continue growing in our D/s-M lifestyle.

Read more to learn what it means to be a husDOM™.

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    1. You and Mr fox are both amazing and I am thankful to be here finally. Only hope I create enough of a change in me to get my little sub to get to know your site and this community. Thank you for the inspiration and the tools for me to grow into what she needs.
      mit Freundlich grusen (had to insert some misspelled German b/c of Kaninchen!)
      with warm regards,

  1. Great Post Sir! I will be having my Sir reading this post because we just had a discussion on what he read about TPE.How it relates to the word Slave and not submissive. I love how you associate circle into TPE it works. I am Sir’s property for whatever he needs me to be but I also like having my opinion. Even though Sir finally decision in the end.

    1. LTS,

      In the beginning of our journey I found the liberal interchanging of many words among the BDSM community to be quite confusing at times.

      There will be many people that see my interpretation of TPE to be in error and that will be fine with me. I am simply sharing my views, husDom’s perspective.

      Mr Fox

  2. This expression is of the soul, which is itself synonymous with the evolving human consciousness.,,,to be….” His wife,…His submissive …His Slut,,His Everything…”

  3. Thank you love for that great explanation/opinion. I am still working my courage/interest in talking to my husband into D/s relationship like the one you cherish with LK. I don’t see much potential though 🙁

  4. Miss MK,

    I am certainly no expert in the D/s arena but as a husband I am eternally grateful that my LK had the courage to confront me with her true desire.

    My cherished LK helps guide new submissive’s along their journey and may be able to offer some support to you.

    Mr. Fox

  5. Thank you for this! The whole world of BDSM can be confusing, and overwhelming, and SCARY!!! Really thankful that you and LK, Elle and her Sir, and a few others out there have been honest, and open, and brave while posting about their D/s-M journey. You’ve effectivly created your own community for those seeking to find help, advice, ideas and mostly encouragement!
    Each couple is different, and will make their own path, no matter what the outside world-the BDSM community-has to say about it. There’s no right or wrong way to
    D/s-M…it’s only…..what is right for each individual couple to decide together!
    Great post!

    1. Cailin Fire,

      You couldn’t be more correct when you say that each couple is different and will have their own personal and intimate journey.

      Thank you for the accolades concerning the post.

      Mr. Fox

  6. Great explanation and clarification… I admire your ideals and like you am not looking for a slave, but a partnership based on the D/s ideals but unique in its own right… Thanks for sharing

    1. Steel Master,

      You have said it much more eloquently than myself…

      “a partnership based on the D/s ideals but unique in its own right…”

      Thanks for sharing.

      Mr. Fox

          1. It was a great trip… I learned a lot… some good and some that is hard to swallow… All in all, I am glad to be back home…

  7. Steel Master,

    I’m glad to hear that the trip went well. Especially happy to hear that it was educational. Often times open and honest communication can be difficult, or hard to swallow. That difficult communication may be the path to your true happiness…

    Mr. Fox

  8. HusDom,

    Well written distinctions and points-of-view. I concur with everything you and LK have set out and the willingness to be open to whatever destination you both end up reaching. Excellent! I applaud the levels of trust, patience, and incessant(?) communication!

    You know, I so wish I had known the infinite depths of everything BDSM when I was in my 20’s. It has only been in the last 10-years or so that I’ve seen the indescribable connections between a true Dom/sub or Master/slave. A T.P.E. is in many respects a post-Doctorate, if you will, of not just one person, but of two — and how easy is that? How impervious the levels of trust? Wow! When I think of those dynamics and responsibilities as a Dom/Top, I shake sometimes! But when my bottom/sub has told me several times “I trust you with my life,” I’m even more motivated and confident!

    Fantastic post HusDom. You two are on a beautiful path.

  9. Professor Taboo,

    LK and myself along with most other D/s-M couples that contact us wish that we had discovered D/s in our 20’s as well. Just imagine where we would be today. Not just because the incredible sex but all of the communication and honesty, incessant indeed. All of the time that we have wasted on our vanilla arguements simply jockeying for position.

    And I agree with you as well. We have recently reviewed our limits and rules and my Kaninchen’s response is that she trusts me with her life and doesn’t really need to set her own limits. The tone of her voice and the look in her eye is absolutely genuine. The feeling that it gives me is indescribale. It helps assure me that I am doing something right as her Dominant or leader.

    Glad that you stopped by this morning now please go and study…

    Mr. Fox

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