Mind Fuck D/s | Through the Eyes of a Dominant

D/s Mind Fuck

A major component in a married D/s-M relationship is the mind fuck aspect.  I have yet to write a post regarding mind fuck itself; there can be many different expressions regarding mind fuck.  I am merely going to grace the surface of a D/s mind fuck in this post.

I have been on the road for five days now and will be flying home tomorrow for another short three day turn.  As you can imagine, My Little Kaninchen will be excited to see me.

I am going to send my LK one of my letters tonight inviting her to a scene with me on Friday morning.  I have written a little regarding these letters in previous posts, they give instructions and my expectations of her for the morning of our scene.  Little Kaninchen never knows when I am going to write one of these letters and when I am going to actually conduct a scene.  I can only imagine her absolute excitement when she receives my invitation tonight.

The build…  A little D/s mind fuck…

I began Friday’s scene yesterday and LK doesnt even realize it.

I will sometimes give my LK a chore to complete with a time limit attached.  Since LK isn’t a service submissive when I say “chore” I mean that she has a time limit to accomplish something sexual.

Whenever I give her a time limit to accomplish one of these chores for me, the time constraint is often completely unrealistic, I may not want her to reach her goal.  This is a powerful mind fuck whether you are standing over top of her and about to take her or you are a thousand miles away, which I happen to be tonight.  The submissive’s mind is completely focused on the goal, her pleasure that you have been denying her and that she desperately desires.  She will be working so hard to accomplish her goal that she will not even realize how unrealistic the situation really is.

I know that LK was particularly worked up last night from both my long absence and the book that she is reading for her book club.

A little past noon I sent LK a text that said…ANALPLUGSSPIOPT728

“Put your small plug in…

Send a picture to me…

Do not touch yourself afterwards…

You may use your wand for 2 minutes to help get the plug in…”


A few minutes later I was pleased when I received a POV picture from behind as per my request.

Two minutes after that I received a picture of the toys mentioned and her G-Spot vibrator, with her glistening juices all over it, placed neatly on a towel and this comment accompanying the picture;

“For you Sir!”

I couldn’t believe it…  What was this?  The intention of the two minute limitation was to build a desire, a substantial desire within her.  I wanted to create a craving so intense that she wouldn’t sleep for the two days until I got home, instead she knocked the edge off.

My intention was to begin to create the need to be reset within her.  I am sure that she is on the edge of spiraling already and needing to be reset, I was going to push her closer to the edge.  This would have intensified Friday’s scene as she began to unravel in front of me.  Ironically, LK just wrote a post yesterday, “Coming Undone”, that post explains the spiral that I mention pretty well.Mind Fuck

Little Kaninchen most likely believes that yesterday was just some random activity meant to entertain myself but when I give specific instructions to perform a function like this there is always a premeditated objective.

Three days prior to our scene I began the ground work to create an insatiable hunger within her.  Unfortunately for me, she realized that deeply needed release that she so badly yearned for.  Now with just two days until our scene I am going to change my tactic from having her on the edge to creating a submissive mindset.

In my letter tonight LK is going to be instructed to review the original text of my request.  I only gave her permission to use her small plug and her wand for two minutes.  The instructions stated that the wand was to be used to help her get the plug in, not to take one of my O’s.  Little Kaninchen used her medium sized plug, the wand and her g-spot vibrator.  I am going to ask her if she was following my instructions to please me or if she was using this opportunity to please herself, as she so eagerly needed the release.

Little Kaninchen is not permitted to touch herself or to take one of my O’s without permission.

Taking My ‘O’

She will be punished for taking my O without permission and for using the G-spot vibrator for her own pleasure without my permission.

The realization of disappointing me due to the greediness of her own pleasure will also put her in the mindset of pleasing me, a submissive mindset.

I am not punishing her to create the submissive mindset.  The punishment that she will receive is for her non-compliance of my rules.  Since she is already going to have a submissive mindset I may as well capitalize on the opportunity and create a deeper submissive mindset.  You will see how I plan on doing this in my next post.

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  1. To say this is deep is an understatement. It implies a strong opening of your sub to Sir. It also says that Sir listens and watches closely for what sets the sub mind off into a desirable state.

    How do you find these triggers out?

    1. King,

      “It also says that Sir listens and watches closely for what sets the sub mind off into a desirable state.”

      You are correct that the Dominant is always required to monitor his submissive’s mindset and have a solid understanding of where her head is at.

      To be honest these “triggers” are identified and understood with time and experience. You will begin to recognize situations such as spiraling and lack of submissive mindset as you continue along your journey.

      The most important lesson in this post to a new Dominant would be that the Dominant needs to realize that it is his responsibility, and only his, to maintain a healthy D/s atmosphere for himself and his submissive. If his submissive’s behavior is unsatisfactory, he should be looking at his own leadership for the answers. What should he be doing or not doing?

      Often times the submissive maintains her own submissive mindset to get the D/s relationship off the ground. Once airborne the submissive should pull back and the Dominant needs to take over. No matter what is happening, whether it be spiraling or brattiess, it is caused by the actions of the leader. He must recognize it and correct it.


      Mr Fox

      1. I agree with that 100%. Ultimately the onus is on the Dominant to assure his sub is given the tools, instructions and support required for a healthy D/s. If she fails we both fail and ultimately that responsibility lies squarely on the Dominant ‘s shoulders

  2. It is so hot and so amazing how you plan out every detail of your D/s. Enviable. As I’ve often said, LK is so lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have her.

    That said, this is part of the confusion for me (and especially DH) for how to make this work: We subs like “punishment” and want it however we can get it. On one hand, we want to submit and please our Doms/husbands… but on the other hand, we know what we want, what we like, and it is pleasure that also involves pain, and to be thoroughly dominated by our man. So when LK doesn’t follow your orders to the letter, isn’t this part of the game? Is she effectively “setting up” a scene that will now involve punishment for her changing the nature of your orders?

    And, I realize I probably shouldn’t be reading this post… it was not intended for sub eyes, I’m sure. Curiosity killed the cat… or at least whipped the pussy. 🙂 Sometimes I think I need BOTH a Dom AND a husband, and that they can’t be the same person.

    I mean no disrespect in my questions, because as you know I have great admiration for the way you both make this dynamic work for you, and want to learn it. But sometimes this is where it gets hard for me to express to my DH what this D/s looks like, what exactly planning for a scene is, and where that line is between punishment for real misdeeds (as you mentioned, you could give tasks that are undo-able, so you’re setting up “failure” and almost a false or unfair consequence) and giving pain for pleasure?

    1. Desiring Discipline,

      “We subs like “punishment” and want it however we can get it.”

      “So when LK doesn’t follow your orders to the letter, isn’t this part of the game? Is she effectively “setting up” a scene that will now involve punishment for her changing the nature of your orders?”

      I understand where the confusion regarding punishment and pain come from but trust me, or ask LK, there is a huge difference. There will be a post regarding discipline and punishment through the eyes of a dominant soon. Punishment should not be something that is enjoyable to the submissive. Your submissive will only enjoy the pain that you inflict if it is given correctly and made pleasurable. You must properly warm her up and create an atmosphere to where the pain is pleasurable. Without proper warm up it is nothing more than just pain, no matter how you look at it or who you are.

      Little Kaninchen received ten strokes with the “M%th8r F&ck^r” without any warm up. The tears running down her cheeks would indicate that she received no pleasure from this pain. If you were to ask her I am positive that she would tell you that she was not “setting up” a scene and that she would not like to experience another punishment any time soon.

      “And, I realize I probably shouldn’t be reading this post… it was not intended for sub eyes”

      I am honored that you continue to read my posts.

      “as you mentioned, you could give tasks that are undo-able, so you’re setting up “failure” and almost a false or unfair consequence”

      When I give my LK a task that she most likely can not achieve I do not do this in order to punish her. These sexually oriented tasks that I assign LK are tasks such as allowing her 60 seconds to achieve an orgasm. This task would be given in the middle of a scene when she is already extremely worked up. At the end of 60 seconds I make her stop! There is never any punishment given with these unrealistic tasks, they are simply made to keep LK on the edge and create a mind fuck, one minute she is desperately trying to achieve an orgasm and then the next minute she is denied the pleasure of an orgasm.

      I hope that this may help clarify some of my actions and thought process as a Dominant.


      Mr. Fox

      1. Mr Fox,

        Great post! I mentioned it to my Sir, and he seems to very much like the idea.

        In regards to your response to DD, I was wondering if you have done a post, or plan on doing a post, on the mindset behind punishment. My Sir and I have “play punishments”, as we call them, (basically, lower level punishments for non-serious infringements) and have been talking about proper punishments (he has decided on a couple) but he hasn’t implemented any of them because he’s worried about getting out of line – he also has trouble with the idea that I’m not supposed to enjoy punishments.

        It would just be interesting to see a more experienced Dom’s perspective on how to handle punishment and the mindset.


        1. Little Succubus,

          In D/s-M (Married) D/s-LTR (Long Term Relationships) punishments prove to be one of the more challenging tasks for the Dominant.

          Conceptually, punishments are simple, you punish your submissive whenever she misbehaves or breaks one of your established rules.

          Realistically, a loving Dominant that is new to punishment will become plagued with his own apprehensions and insecurities.

          Let me go so far as to say that LK and I believe that most journeys should begin in the bedroom only and slowly transition into everyday life, 24/7, with 24/7 being the goal. Punishments in the bedroom or during play are a totally different type of punishment than what I have written about in this post.

          Best wishes,

          Mr Fox

    1. MariMar,

      Thank you for stopping by and for your comment regarding my post.

      I was offering a glimpse of my personal dynamic from my Dominant perspective.

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

  3. I am so sorry that I did not what I was told. I was punished and now understand that I am to follow your directions to the “T” ….. I will work harder to make you proud.
    It truly brings such a smile to my face …even though I got my ass beat… that you have become my Dominate. I luv this soo much …Thank you, Sir!


    1. My Little Kaninchen,

      “I will work harder to make you proud.”

      I couldnt be any more proud of you than I already am…


      Mr. Fox

  4. Mr. Fox,

    This was an exquisite read! Like me, your ‘pleasure’ is gained just as much in all the planning and preparation for your ‘person/object’ of deep desire, passion, and lust as it is bringing it all in concert, to a crescendo, and finale! A beautiful symphony-of-sensory euphoria that would make even Amadeus Mozart awe in envy. 😉

    Thank you.

  5. Realized that I didn’t make clear I was complimenting your planning, preparation, and intentions for LK despite her detour. I was focusing on the Dom’s or Top’s POV rather than the sub’s/bottom’s. Granted her ‘detour’ only detracted from the mind-boggling finale and I am of the mindset that as brilliant and imperfect human beings that we are, we are certainly capable of failing better. The significance is as much the journey as it is the destination and sometimes (often depending on how boldly ambitious one is) they are impossible to anticipate, but always perpetually teaching…for everyone.

    Therefore, this read was nonetheless exquisite for me, a Top who savors these pre-scenes and scenes.

    1. Professor Taboo,

      It is always nice to hear form you. I hope that you have had a wonderful holiday season!

      “impossible to anticipate, but always perpetually teaching…for everyone”

      This quote speaks to me…

      It not only speaks of a scene but of a relationship in general…

      I hope all has been well for you this past year…

      Happy New Year!

      Mr Fox

  6. Mr Fox,

    I am curious to know how you punished LK for taking your O without your permission.

    I really enjoyed the post.

    Thank you.

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