Thanksgiving dinner at my parent’s house was really no different than anyone else’s I imagine. We had a large traditional Thanksgiving meal with the entire family gathered to celebrate, recognize, and give thanks for the wonderful things in our lives and the preceding year.
Our celebration would usually begin late morning and would last until late afternoon. lk and I were probably no older than twenty when we would begin to stay after and help my parents clean up before we would go home ourselves.
One year after we had finished cleaning everything up we all sat down on the sofa exhausted, lk and my mother began to talk about how Christmas was already fast approaching. They began to imagine how they were going to decorate for the holiday. They both shared excitement for decorating for the holidays.
Decorating for the Holidays
Needless to say, my father and I were not as excited as the ladies seemed to be. We were exhausted from the day’s activities and wanted to simply relax and unwind. Otherwise, we would have to get up off the sofa and climb into the cold dark attic to retrieve the Christmas decorations. Furthermore, My father and I were not enthusiastic about the event as it meant a lot of work and frustration. Not only was Thanksgiving already a long and exhausting day but the Christmas lights of the past were a curse on humanity as well. They never seemed to work and we would spend hours untangling the mess of wires, troubleshooting them, and getting them to work again.
That evening, motivating my father and I to overcome our lethargy began innocently enough as my mother and lk enticed us with eggnog. My father seemed to like the eggnog as it was something from his past, a memory of his childhood. Although I participated in the concoction I didn’t care much for it myself, I was sharing the moment with my father and possibly mixing mine too strongly to care.
Years to Come
The following Thanksgiving we found ourselves in a similar situation with one major obstacle, there was no motivation for my father and I. There was no eggnog. I’m not exactly sure whose idea it was or why my mother and lk thought it was a good idea, possibly in sheer desperation to get us up off the sofa to retrieve their Christmas decorations from the attic, but eventually, lk appeared in the living room with a bottle of tequila. I know this sounds bad on the surface but for some reason, it just fit the spirit of the evening.
When my father was a young man he was in the Army and stationed at Fort Bliss in El Paso, TX. El Paso is just across the border from Juárez, Mexico. There he and his friends would spend much of their time off trying to get into trouble.
Like the eggnog, tequila was part of my father’s memories as a young man. I was innocently sharing another moment with him again. Over the years I have never really acquired the taste for eggnog but the taste for tequila seemed to come more naturally.
For some, it may appear like a stretch to correlate how Thanksgiving evening and tequila ended up being a tradition but hopefully, now you have a better understanding of what it means to lk and I.
My father and I were not regular drinkers and tequila was not a common spirit for us either. This annual tradition wasn’t born out of a reason just to get loaded, we were actually sharing an experience from his youth. A bonding of sorts of father and son. He was a little older than I was sure but it was the realization to me that he was once just like I was then, young and naive to much of the real world. We had more similarities than differences.
It has been over 21 years now since I lost my father. And every Thanksgiving since his passing I toast to my father and the wonderful times that we had together. I cherish the memories that I have of him and our family and look forward to making new memories in the upcoming year. Over the years lk and I have shared this ceremony with my family and a few close friends.
This year lk and I would like to celebrate our Thanksgiving Tradition with all of our friends.
If there is someone you have lost that you want to celebrate or toast this Thanksgiving, we would be honored if you would join lk and I on a brief zoom meeting and we can celebrate together. This gathering is not about being sad, rather, it is an opportunity to take a glance into the past to remember the great times that you shared with loved ones, family, and friends. At the same time to remember that life is precious and short and to live fully in the moment with those that mean the very most to us.
We realize that there are several people that do not drink. The toast isn’t about the alcohol but rather the remembrance and the respect for those that we are thankful for having been part of our lives as well as those that are currently part of our lives.
Make a toast with whatever spirit you choose, mine is tequila of course, as to keep with our tradition. If you choose to join us please toast with whatever you wish, even water would be fine.
Our 2017 Couple’s Retreat was held in New Orleans during the Halloween weekend. On the evening of Halloween, we visited a haunted house and had a famous medium, Bloody Mary performed a seance in the haunted house itself. The house was known for a very gruesome murder where the assailant actually dismembered and ate their victim. Prior to that, there were several deaths in the house as well.
During the seance, a medium and Bloody Mary brought up a few things that could have been related to my father and myself and our time together. More specifically referring to some of our times together during Thanksgiving. Naturally, anyone else would have connected them to Christmas.
Bloody Mary was talking about eggnog, which my father drank during our first few times of setting up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving. lk kept hearing jingle bells, which we would have been playing while setting the Christmas decorations and the Christmas tree. Shujin was also at our seance with us and was overtaken by saying a phrase that meant nothing to him, “take the bull by the horns.” My father had several idioms that he would say are still at the forefront of my mind.
Who – What – When – Where
- Check out the calendar for event details.