D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

“I read your post about when you got home from a trip, LK met you at the airport. Instead of walking her to her door and opening it for her, you told her to give you her panties. I loved this post btw. My question is, what would you have done if LK didn’t give you her panties as you requested? “

This question appears very basic and one may expect it to have a clear unencumbered answer, however, remember that each one of us is on our own individual D/s journey and we are in different places or at different coordinates than others navigating a similar D/s journey.

“What would Mr Fox have done?”

D/s is a lifestyle and not just about kinky sex.  Sure the sex and the kink are great but without the proper discipline by both the Dominant and the 


submissive the relationship is really nothing more than just kinky sex.  I am not denouncing kinky sex at all I am simply pointing out the significant difference between a Dominance and submission relationship and a kinky relationship.

In a successful Dominance and submission relationship both partners must recognize their appropriate roles in the relationship.  I am not referring to who is the Dominant and who is the submissive, I am referring to the responsibilities of the Dominant and the responsibilities of the submissive.  Each partner of a D/s relationship will have a role and that role will bear certain D/s responsibilities.

The responsibilities of the Dominant in turn create expectations by the submissive.

The responsibilities of the submissive in turn create expectations by the Dominant.

To summarize, the Dominant has agreed to accept the role of the Dominant, shoulder the responsibilities of the Dominant and meet the submissive’s expectations.

The submissive has agreed to accept the role of the submissive, shoulder the responsibilities of the submissive and meet the Dominant’s expectations.

Stop right here and return to the text just below “What would Mr Fox have done?” and read this section again.  This is the most basic explanation of the fundamentals of a D/s relationship; know your part…

If the Dominant and the submissive, both hold up their end of the agreement they will feed one another throughout the D/s relationship.  This is what LK and I refer to as feeding one another.  If one of the partners fails to hold up their end of the agreement they are not properly feeding their partner and the core of the relationship will begin to weaken. COUPLEINHOTELINBEDSSPIOPT736

Now that we understand the fundamentals, “What would Mr. Fox have done?”

Excellent question!

First of all let us realize that Mr Fox has the unique opportunity to answer this question while seated comfortably in his leather tufted chair with his submissive sitting quietly across form him in her leather chair and adorning her leather cuffs while mentoring other submissives.  In other words there is no pressure and no emotions involved in my answer.

I would like to believe that this is what I would have done…

Since LK and I clearly understand our D/s responsibilities, our D/s roles and our D/s expectations her noncompliance to my command would have signaled a significant disconnect between us.  Most likely there would have been some other signs prior to this type of radical behavior.

I would have walked back over to the passenger side and opened her door for her and gently closed it after she was seated.  Remember, as a Dominant you are the leader, always behave as such.  I wouldn’t speak a single word.  I would walk slowly behind the car allowing myself a moment to reflect on the situation and to hope that she couldn’t see the complete shock and disbelief on my face.  After getting into the car I would begin to drive home without saying a word.

Silence can be deafening…

Again, the silence would allow me a few more precious minutes to gather my thoughts.  This time of silence would also allow LK to review her actions in her own mind as to what just took place.  As the Dominant, the leader, the responsibility to resolve this matter is all yours.  I would ask my Little Kaninchen, in an extraordinarily calm and non aggressive voice what was troubling her.  I would then shut up and listen…

In our well defined D/s marriage this type of behavior would be both engines flamed out kind of serious.  I would give true consideration to what she said to me prior to offering a rebuttal or defending my position.  If she was this upset with me she would most certainly have a valid issue to discuss.  I would discuss the issue at hand with her and we would resolve it to both of our satisfactions. COUPLELAYINGONFLOORHANDCUFFSLOOKINGATPHONESSPIOPT236

Now in that same calm and caring tone of voice I would explain to my LK that we have an established protocol for such situations and she violated the protocol with her behavior and that she would be punished as soon as we arrived home.  Providing, of course, that our issues were actually resolved prior to reaching our destination.  This may seem a bit extreme to some people but I actually owe it to her as part of our agreement.  I am not being sarcastic or threatening, her expectations of me as her Dominant demands such a response.  By not following through with a punishment Little Kaninchen would lose confidence in me as her Dominant and this incident would ultimately weaken our relationship.

D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

In summary, communication is key!  Not just her communicating the issue to you but also the two of you communicating your responsibilities and expectations of each other to one another.




Shutterstock Paid Images


Related Articles

MSS002 – What is D|s-M

What is D|s-M and could it be right for you?

What is D|s-M?

D|s-M is Dominance submission for married couples.

The result of practicing D|s-M states the most important needs of every couple.

The wife, it satisfies a deep craving or hunger for intimacy or closeness with her husband.

The husband will acquire his need for the unexplained trust and respect from his wife.

D|s-M is our method that we created that brings D|s, Dominance and submission into a couple’s marriage in a consensual, and healthy manner. The methodology positively builds a marriage and is never used to damage or weaken it, giving you all that edge without you or your marriage getting cut. You’ll be working together as a team on your dynamic and individually working on your part of the D|s role.

MSS003 – Halloween & Fear | Vaginal Fisting

Special Holiday Episode, Halloween Podcast

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s Halloween season! It’s my absolute favorite holiday of the whole year.

This is a two part episode with an additional bonus at the end.

Part 1:

Guests: SirJ & Star (From husDOM & subMrs)

Top Feared Sexual Technique – What is Fisting?

SirJ and Star will join Mr. Fox and Little Kaninchen in a conversation all things vaginal fisting. If you have ever been curious about or have questions or concerns regarding fisting this is the episode for you.

How to Vaginally Fist Your Partner

Part 2:

Join Mr. Fox and lk as they discuss the relationship between Halloween and Dominance and submission.

What do they have in Common?

Bonus Material:

Mr Fox and Little Kaninchen talk about their personal paranormal experience in New Orleans.

Married Dominance and submission, Marriage’s Sexiest Secret

Welcome to our Wonderland!

MSS006 | It’s Nipply Inside and Out

Our main focus this month is about Nipple’s and Nipple Play!
Nipple Play is the stimulation of the nipple during sexual activity. As part of sexual activity, the practice may be self performed or performed upon by another. Nipples can be worshiped, decorated, clamped, electrified, sucked and pinched.

MSS007 – How to ask husband for Dominance and submission in marriage

The Formal Acceptance is the key to getting started to this dynamic. This act or ritual is the rite of passage that must happen between husband and wife before they can really begin to build the relationship. And then another reason we thought this might be great is that many times this dynamic Well, I would say 90 plus percent of the time, this dynamic is brought into a marriage by the wife. So while we’ll be talking from the submissives perspective, during this most time, Mr. Fox will help us with his perspective or the Dom’s perspective along the way. On this podcast, we are going to answer:

How do you ask for your Marriage’s Sexy, Secret dynamic?
What is a Formal Acceptance?
How do you do the Formal Acceptance?

MSS004 – The Power Exchange Relationship | Circle

The Power Exchange satisfies two very important needs that married couples require from one another.

~A wife’s craving or hunger for intimacy or closeness with her husband.
~A husband’s search for that unexplained trust & respect from his wife.

Learn more about a relationship’s Power Exchange.


    1. Kenzie,

      One is never really certain how they would handle themselves in a stressful situation until actually placed in that situation. I believe that is how I would have handled such an event.

      Thank you for your support…

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

  1. Thank you for all the knowledge and wisdom that you share! I look forward to someday being the Dom that my Sweetness deserves!

    1. RV,

      You are already that great Dominant! And you, like myself, are striving to be an even better Dominant everyday. That is what makes you great…

      You know your role…
      You know your responsibilities…
      And you know and strive to meet your submissive’s expectations…

      Hope all is well,

      Mr Fox

    1. Slave Mala,

      Some men refer to themselves as a Dominant and then proceed to dominate. A loving Dominant realizes that there is so much more involved in a healthy Dominance and submission relationship.

      Thank you for your kind words.


      Mr. Fox

  2. This article was eye-opening for me. At times, I find myself lacking the leadership qualities to be an effective Dominant. For the most part I can keep it together but when my confidence and/or ego are challenged I tend to take up a more selfish and defensive position. I know my calm and confident leadership qualities are what helped my precious Kat and I make it this far and still remain so satisfied with our relationship. Thank you for the reminder, Mr. Fox.

Morning Mentor Chat | Learn more