D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

“I read your post about when you got home from a trip, LK met you at the airport. Instead of walking her to her door and opening it for her, you told her to give you her panties. I loved this post btw. My question is, what would you have done if LK didn’t give you her panties as you requested? “

This question appears very basic and one may expect it to have a clear unencumbered answer, however, remember that each one of us is on our own individual D/s journey and we are in different places or at different coordinates than others navigating a similar D/s journey.

“What would Mr Fox have done?”

D/s is a lifestyle and not just about kinky sex.  Sure the sex and the kink are great but without the proper discipline by both the Dominant and the 


submissive the relationship is really nothing more than just kinky sex.  I am not denouncing kinky sex at all I am simply pointing out the significant difference between a Dominance and submission relationship and a kinky relationship.

In a successful Dominance and submission relationship both partners must recognize their appropriate roles in the relationship.  I am not referring to who is the Dominant and who is the submissive, I am referring to the responsibilities of the Dominant and the responsibilities of the submissive.  Each partner of a D/s relationship will have a role and that role will bear certain D/s responsibilities.

The responsibilities of the Dominant in turn create expectations by the submissive.

The responsibilities of the submissive in turn create expectations by the Dominant.

To summarize, the Dominant has agreed to accept the role of the Dominant, shoulder the responsibilities of the Dominant and meet the submissive’s expectations.

The submissive has agreed to accept the role of the submissive, shoulder the responsibilities of the submissive and meet the Dominant’s expectations.

Stop right here and return to the text just below “What would Mr Fox have done?” and read this section again.  This is the most basic explanation of the fundamentals of a D/s relationship; know your part…

If the Dominant and the submissive, both hold up their end of the agreement they will feed one another throughout the D/s relationship.  This is what LK and I refer to as feeding one another.  If one of the partners fails to hold up their end of the agreement they are not properly feeding their partner and the core of the relationship will begin to weaken.COUPLEINHOTELINBEDSSPIOPT736

Now that we understand the fundamentals, “What would Mr. Fox have done?”

Excellent question!

First of all let us realize that Mr Fox has the unique opportunity to answer this question while seated comfortably in his leather tufted chair with his submissive sitting quietly across form him in her leather chair and adorning her leather cuffs while mentoring other submissives.  In other words there is no pressure and no emotions involved in my answer.

I would like to believe that this is what I would have done…

Since LK and I clearly understand our D/s responsibilities, our D/s roles and our D/s expectations her noncompliance to my command would have signaled a significant disconnect between us.  Most likely there would have been some other signs prior to this type of radical behavior.

I would have walked back over to the passenger side and opened her door for her and gently closed it after she was seated.  Remember, as a Dominant you are the leader, always behave as such.  I wouldn’t speak a single word.  I would walk slowly behind the car allowing myself a moment to reflect on the situation and to hope that she couldn’t see the complete shock and disbelief on my face.  After getting into the car I would begin to drive home without saying a word.

Silence can be deafening…

Again, the silence would allow me a few more precious minutes to gather my thoughts.  This time of silence would also allow LK to review her actions in her own mind as to what just took place.  As the Dominant, the leader, the responsibility to resolve this matter is all yours.  I would ask my Little Kaninchen, in an extraordinarily calm and non aggressive voice what was troubling her.  I would then shut up and listen…

In our well defined D/s marriage this type of behavior would be both engines flamed out kind of serious.  I would give true consideration to what she said to me prior to offering a rebuttal or defending my position.  If she was this upset with me she would most certainly have a valid issue to discuss.  I would discuss the issue at hand with her and we would resolve it to both of our satisfactions.COUPLELAYINGONFLOORHANDCUFFSLOOKINGATPHONESSPIOPT236

Now in that same calm and caring tone of voice I would explain to my LK that we have an established protocol for such situations and she violated the protocol with her behavior and that she would be punished as soon as we arrived home.  Providing, of course, that our issues were actually resolved prior to reaching our destination.  This may seem a bit extreme to some people but I actually owe it to her as part of our agreement.  I am not being sarcastic or threatening, her expectations of me as her Dominant demands such a response.  By not following through with a punishment Little Kaninchen would lose confidence in me as her Dominant and this incident would ultimately weaken our relationship.

D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

In summary, communication is key!  Not just her communicating the issue to you but also the two of you communicating your responsibilities and expectations of each other to one another.




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  1. I think you would have handled the situation in the best possible way. Very nice.

    1. Kenzie,

      One is never really certain how they would handle themselves in a stressful situation until actually placed in that situation. I believe that is how I would have handled such an event.

      Thank you for your support…

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

  2. Thank you for all the knowledge and wisdom that you share! I look forward to someday being the Dom that my Sweetness deserves!

    1. RV,

      You are already that great Dominant! And you, like myself, are striving to be an even better Dominant everyday. That is what makes you great…

      You know your role…
      You know your responsibilities…
      And you know and strive to meet your submissive’s expectations…

      Hope all is well,

      Mr Fox

    1. Slave Mala,

      Some men refer to themselves as a Dominant and then proceed to dominate. A loving Dominant realizes that there is so much more involved in a healthy Dominance and submission relationship.

      Thank you for your kind words.


      Mr. Fox

  3. This article was eye-opening for me. At times, I find myself lacking the leadership qualities to be an effective Dominant. For the most part I can keep it together but when my confidence and/or ego are challenged I tend to take up a more selfish and defensive position. I know my calm and confident leadership qualities are what helped my precious Kat and I make it this far and still remain so satisfied with our relationship. Thank you for the reminder, Mr. Fox.

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