D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

“I read your post about when you got home from a trip, LK met you at the airport. Instead of walking her to her door and opening it for her, you told her to give you her panties. I loved this post btw. My question is, what would you have done if LK didn’t give you her panties as you requested? “

This question appears very basic and one may expect it to have a clear unencumbered answer, however, remember that each one of us is on our own individual D/s journey and we are in different places or at different coordinates than others navigating a similar D/s journey.

“What would Mr Fox have done?”

D/s is a lifestyle and not just about kinky sex.  Sure the sex and the kink are great but without the proper discipline by both the Dominant and the 

 

submissive the relationship is really nothing more than just kinky sex.  I am not denouncing kinky sex at all I am simply pointing out the significant difference between a Dominance and submission relationship and a kinky relationship.

In a successful Dominance and submission relationship both partners must recognize their appropriate roles in the relationship.  I am not referring to who is the Dominant and who is the submissive, I am referring to the responsibilities of the Dominant and the responsibilities of the submissive.  Each partner of a D/s relationship will have a role and that role will bear certain D/s responsibilities.

The responsibilities of the Dominant in turn create expectations by the submissive.

The responsibilities of the submissive in turn create expectations by the Dominant.

To summarize, the Dominant has agreed to accept the role of the Dominant, shoulder the responsibilities of the Dominant and meet the submissive’s expectations.

The submissive has agreed to accept the role of the submissive, shoulder the responsibilities of the submissive and meet the Dominant’s expectations.

Stop right here and return to the text just below “What would Mr Fox have done?” and read this section again.  This is the most basic explanation of the fundamentals of a D/s relationship; know your part…

If the Dominant and the submissive, both hold up their end of the agreement they will feed one another throughout the D/s relationship.  This is what LK and I refer to as feeding one another.  If one of the partners fails to hold up their end of the agreement they are not properly feeding their partner and the core of the relationship will begin to weaken.COUPLEINHOTELINBEDSSPIOPT736

Now that we understand the fundamentals, “What would Mr. Fox have done?”

Excellent question!

First of all let us realize that Mr Fox has the unique opportunity to answer this question while seated comfortably in his leather tufted chair with his submissive sitting quietly across form him in her leather chair and adorning her leather cuffs while mentoring other submissives.  In other words there is no pressure and no emotions involved in my answer.

I would like to believe that this is what I would have done…

Since LK and I clearly understand our D/s responsibilities, our D/s roles and our D/s expectations her noncompliance to my command would have signaled a significant disconnect between us.  Most likely there would have been some other signs prior to this type of radical behavior.

I would have walked back over to the passenger side and opened her door for her and gently closed it after she was seated.  Remember, as a Dominant you are the leader, always behave as such.  I wouldn’t speak a single word.  I would walk slowly behind the car allowing myself a moment to reflect on the situation and to hope that she couldn’t see the complete shock and disbelief on my face.  After getting into the car I would begin to drive home without saying a word.

Silence can be deafening…

Again, the silence would allow me a few more precious minutes to gather my thoughts.  This time of silence would also allow LK to review her actions in her own mind as to what just took place.  As the Dominant, the leader, the responsibility to resolve this matter is all yours.  I would ask my Little Kaninchen, in an extraordinarily calm and non aggressive voice what was troubling her.  I would then shut up and listen…

In our well defined D/s marriage this type of behavior would be both engines flamed out kind of serious.  I would give true consideration to what she said to me prior to offering a rebuttal or defending my position.  If she was this upset with me she would most certainly have a valid issue to discuss.  I would discuss the issue at hand with her and we would resolve it to both of our satisfactions.COUPLELAYINGONFLOORHANDCUFFSLOOKINGATPHONESSPIOPT236

Now in that same calm and caring tone of voice I would explain to my LK that we have an established protocol for such situations and she violated the protocol with her behavior and that she would be punished as soon as we arrived home.  Providing, of course, that our issues were actually resolved prior to reaching our destination.  This may seem a bit extreme to some people but I actually owe it to her as part of our agreement.  I am not being sarcastic or threatening, her expectations of me as her Dominant demands such a response.  By not following through with a punishment Little Kaninchen would lose confidence in me as her Dominant and this incident would ultimately weaken our relationship.

D/s Roles | D/s Responsibilities Create D/s Expectations

In summary, communication is key!  Not just her communicating the issue to you but also the two of you communicating your responsibilities and expectations of each other to one another.

 

 

 

Shutterstock Paid Images

 

Related Articles

HD008 – Rope Bondage – Marshall Bradford

We have the honor of having Marshall on our show today to talk about rope bondage. And to give us some pointers on where to get started in this art. We discussed things such as the different types of rope available, different diameters, and lengths of rope as well. Marshall will tell us what he prefers and why. He will also give us some starting points on putting together our first rope bondage kit, including some reputable places to purchase your rope.

Join me today as I talk with Marshall Bradford about rope bondage.

HD009 – 5 Behaviors that can Damage your D/s-M Relationship

I’m going to talk about 5 Behaviors that Can Sabotage your Relationship. Sure, there are probably many more behaviors than just five, right that have serious negative effects on your D/s-M relationship. But for today, I have narrowed it down to just five, I feel that the five negative behaviors that I’m going to discuss during this episode are quite common. It will be a productive conversation. Some of you will be able to directly relate to some of the discussion today and recognize areas that you may be able to level up in. And some of you may recognize some of the points and other relationships that you currently have. They could be within your family dynamic among friends, peers, colleagues, you name it. Join me today as I discuss the five behaviors that can sabotage your relationships. Relationships are challenging, right

HD014 – 5 Practical Ways to Lead with Masculinity in a Relationship

In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss five practical ways to lead with masculinity in your relationship. We often hear people talk about being the leader in their relationship. Leadership is a core trait of the divine masculine energy, like dominance, if I had to choose a single word to describe masculine energy to someone, it would be leadership. Well, we don’t hear people talking about us frequently is what dominant leadership looks like, and how it actually shows up in our everyday lives. And in our relationships. Today’s discussion is meant to help to devise some sort of actionable guideline that you can use to either get started towards an amazing relationship or marriage. For for those of you that are already on this path, a guideline to help enhance and to hone those skills needed for an amazing relationship or marriage. These five steps regarding leading with masculinity are transferable to all types of leadership and relationships in general. Think of it as building your masculine core. These five steps are going to help you become a better masculine leader and a better masculine man.

Planting A Seed

In today’s episode, I will discuss “Planting a Seed”.

What is it?
What does it mean?
A genuine concern to me – Is planting a seed just incognito for manipulating your partner?

Can you create anticipation and arousal in your marriage by planting a seed?
Keep listening to find out why I feel that planting a seed is one of the most essential and powerful tools for a masculine Dominant leader today.
Towards the end of the episode, I will give an example, discuss, and offer a few robust tips regarding sending a sexy meme or text to plant a seed with your wife or partner.

Leading with integrated masculine energy!

HD010 – The Struggle is Real

If you have read any of my articles on husDOM.com You may have noticed a common thread. I usually archive my personal experiences, my personal struggles. I believe that it not only helps you listeners or the people reading the articles on husDOM.com. I also believe that when I write it down, it helps me look at that situation from a different perspective. And that comes from actually trying to describe it to others put it into words put that situation into words. Well, today’s not much of a departure from what I’ve done in the past. Today, I’m going to talk about a struggle, and not just a struggle, right?   It’s much more personal for me. It’s about my struggle. I don’t want anyone to focus too much today on me and my struggle. Right?

The real lesson is that we all have ebbs and flows. Nobody is immune to that.