Submissive's Mindset | Dominant Training

Submissive’s Mindset | Dominant Training

This morning after our scene Little Kaninchen continued to query me as to if I was being satisfied during our play.  Kaninchen’ s concern regarding my sexual satisfaction was quite noble and benevolent.  However, while Kaninchen is concerned about me and my pleasure she is no longer in the proper mindset.

My mindset as a Dominant during our scenes is one of laser focus on my submissive and her reactions to my every input.  As Kaninchen’s husDom I consider her body to be my tool, a tool that I use for my own pleasure.

In order for me to be successful as the conductor of the scene I need to have my submissive’s mind completely clear of distractions.  It is not her place to satisfy me unless I have honored her with the task.  Kaninchen’s mind should be focused on the experience that I am providing for her.  This acute focus is the only way that I can take her to the edge and beyond.

Though her intentions may be well placed, her concern of my satisfaction actually distracts from the scene.

Submissive's Mindset | Dominant Training

 

Submissive’s Mindset

Submissive’s Mindset | Dominant Training

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13 Comments
  1. littlekaninchen 6 years ago

    I’m understanding my true role … Sometimes I’m not sucessful at it but I’m learning, Sir. Thank you for all the pleasure you give me and let me give you. I will desperately be missing you… Until our bodies touch again… Skin on skin..
    All My Submission,
    Little Kaninchen

    • HusDom 6 years ago

      Kaninchen,

      My post last night was certainly not one of criticism. You understand your role very well indeed. We are both growing and learning together along this journey.

      I have a strong inclination that when our skin comes together again there may be a thundering clash.

      Mr. Fox

      6-days KSNA

  2. loneyheart 6 years ago

    it is hard for us some times because we so long to serve and please. we have to learn that pleasure is no always in the form of an orgasm. It is often in the surrender of ourselves to our master. And the knowledge that our surrender gives more pleasure than an orgasm can.

    • HusDom 6 years ago

      Loneyheart,

      You are very intuitive in your response. LK is resolute in trying to please me, as are most submissive’s toward their Dominants. Her efforts to please me are sometimes to a fault. It is her surrender coupled with my control of her that brings me the most pleasure. That is when I feel as though she is truly mine.

      Mr. Fox

  3. PushingOurLimits 6 years ago

    Sir, This confuses me. Maybe I’m not getting it, but in my mind, even before embarking on this path, my goals as a wife are to make sure my husband is always happy, always satisfied. If I concentrate on His pleasing me, …that doesn’t seem very submissive. I can certainly hone in during the moment, and put His pleasure out of my mind. But when those moments pass, I’m going to once again make it my only goal to please Him. If He doesn’t appear satisfied, isn’t it always my task to explore why and what will satisfy Him??
    I did not intend this to sound argumentative, I hope it does not come off that way. Thank You!

    • HusDom 6 years ago

      POL,

      You bring up many great points… I certainly dont take your observation as being argumentative. Let me remind you that I do not consider myself a scholar of D/s and there are many different varieties of the lifestyle. I am strictly speaking from my own point of view.

      “my goals as a wife are to make sure my husband is always happy, always satisfied”

      Yes, these are excellent goals and I hope that husbands and wives alike share the desire to satisfy one another, I couldnt agree more.. In this post I was trying to reference our time together during a scene. I consider LK as my tool during our scenes. I will use her to fulfill my own satisfaction and she need not be concerned about my pleasure unless I ask of it from her. Usually, my pleasure is taken from me pleasing her. I would think that most other Dominants feel this way. It is about control and pleasing her is the ultimate control.

      ” If I concentrate on His pleasing me, …that doesn’t seem very submissive.”

      Submissiveness is about many things, one of which is her pleasing my desires. If my pleasure is derived from her pleasure then she will need to focus on the experience that I am providing her in order to please me.

      What other tool does a submissive have to please her Dominant? I want control and I want her pleasure.

      LK does not instruct me on how or when to please her, I make those decisions. She does not touch me or take any initiative without my explicit permission.

      ” If He doesn’t appear satisfied, isn’t it always my task to explore why and what will satisfy Him??”

      Yes, LK was correct in being open and honest as soon as she began to feel that I wasnt being satisfied. What I left out of the post was that the evening prior when we had discussed this same issue. Communication is the pillar to a healthy successful D/s relationship. I see your point of view and regret making a comment that can interpreted as though I was disappointed that LK was expressing her concerns.
      I wanted to assure LK that I am the one in control and that if I wanted or needed something else to be satisfied, I would have taken it, she need not worry.

      Mr. Fox

      • PushingOurLimits 6 years ago

        LK is your tool, her pleasure brings you pleasure. That was a perfect analogy. Thank You for taking the time to explain.

        It does seem there are many different levels of submission and Dominance, and I have much to learn!!

        Not a scholar, but still a teacher, we ALL appreciate You for sharing your experience and knowledge.

  4. emerging dom 6 years ago

    Good message.
    As a novice musician, it reminded me of writing and playing my music, and of the many artists I enjoy. The ones I truly like are profound in their skills in recording – yet when they perform, they always seem to be somehow “better”. It takes time, energy, and talent to write music, but it takes another skill level to perform in such a way that the audience finds themselves lost.
    The same is true on this path – delicately crafting, researching, forming – but in the moment, it takes humility, patience, and love to fulfill. And in that moment, the instrument sings beautifully in perfect harmony, transforming both to a different place.

  5. captbigcountry 4 years ago

    Thank you for sharing , we are dealing with this same issue in our relationship. This is a big help .

  6. MasterInc. 2 years ago

    First off, great advice Mr. Fox!
    I’ve personaly been enjoying reading on a fresh perspective that avoids boughts of shaming for facing such realistic situations.
    Even after many disscussion’s with my wife/sub reguarding her inner need for servitude in making me happy and superseding her own pleasure for my own. This is a constant theme that re occurs ever so often as I’ve found myself slip into a comfort zone now and then by lessening my diligence in keeping her busy in a out of scene context. Which only brings out her own thoughts of how she can fufill my pleasure. For instance, last night I gave her the night off from physical play and made the active choice for her to do nothing and relax from her day and pamper herself with a lil down time. She accompanied me on an erand and we disscused our dinner options. Settled. On our return she said: “What kind of cheese do you want on you’re sandwich?” This was not discussed that she would be making dinner. I had given her instruction to not be concered with my service and for go the dynamic and just relax. She instantly assumed she would be taking care of me to make me happy. I was not with this. I instant reasserted my position and told her what she needed to do once arriving home. She complied reluctantly. I inquired further for the signals she was throwing. In some instances I understand that by asking in certine instances I am lessening my value with her. But in this particular I used it to open up deeper communication and address the reoccurrence of her assuming what would make me happy. After arriving home I sent her upstairs to bed and brought dinner to her as I intially intended to. After wards she snuggled into my chest and lap and we spent the night quietly with one another. I can see both problems here in the situation I’ve shared. However I’m wondering if there’s anything I’m missing or over looking here? Love to hear some thoughts!

  7. MasterInc.

    I don’t believe that you are missing anything.

    Relationships are not black and white, rather they are fluid. Healthy relationships are about balance.

    Best wishes,

    Mr Fox

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