HD012 – When is your pleasure more important than her pleasure?

husdom podcast Pleasure


In today’s episode, I will talk about PLEASURE, more specifically as the Leader, as the Dominant, whose pleasure are you striving to fulfill in the relationship.

A couple of days ago, lk and I sat down and discussed several topics that came to mind.  At one point, she fired off several great but difficult questions.  As we began to discuss some of these questions in more detail, I thought that might be beneficial to share one of them with you.

When is your pleasure more important than hers?

So guys this is a great question.  Like most questions, there is no right or wrong answer.  This particular question is powerful because it should make all of us men stop and think.  For myself, it launched my mind in several different directions before I settled my mind on my interpretation of what I felt the question was really asking.  

When leading with masculinity, what is the right answer?  

Is her pleasure more important than yours?

Or should your pleasure take precedence over hers?

Show Notes

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HD012-Pleasure podcast 

Thu, Aug 10, 2023 10:05PM • 15:58


pleasure, leader, desires, partner, feminine energy, man, lk, masculine energy, relationship, pack, podcast, masculine, feel, scenario, driven, characteristics, fox, alpha, flogger, solely


Mr Fox 

Mr Fox   00:01

In today’s episode, I’m going to take a deep dive into the aspects of pleasure in a relationship.

Today’s topic isn’t about how to give or receive pleasure, but rather, whose pleasure Are you striving for anyway? And why, as a masculine leader, a dominant? Are you striving to satisfy your own needs? Or are you trying to satisfy her needs? Or could it be a combination of both? Who are we actually trying to please? And why? Join me, and let’s try and discover what drives us and possibly the why behind our drive as dominant masculine leaders, Welcome, everyone, this is Mr. Fox, the host and founder of the has DOM dominant leader podcast, a community of men choosing masculinity, striving for excellence and fulfillment in all areas of our lives with some kinky dominance and submission BDSM fun as well.

In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about pleasure, more specifically, as the leader as the dominant, whose pleasure Are you striving to fulfill in the relationship? A couple of days ago, LK and I sat down and discussed several topics that came to mind. At one point in the discussion, she fired off several great but difficult questions. As we began to discuss some of these questions in more detail. I thought that it may be beneficial to share one of them with you. When is your pleasure, more important than hers? All right, let’s get to today’s topic. When is your pleasure, more important than hers? So, guys, this is a great question. Like most questions, there’s no right or wrong answer. This particular question is powerful because it should make all of us men stop and think. For myself, it launched my mind in several different directions. Before I settled my mind, on my interpretation of what I felt the question was really asking, when leading with masculinity, what is the right answer?

Is her pleasure more important than yours?

Or Should your pleasure take precedence over hers?

There may be some men that feel that in order to properly please their partner, they need to satisfy all of their partner’s needs and desires, including making her pleasure have more importance than their own, indirectly leaving their own pleasure secondary in nature. Some men in today’s society are more in touch with their feelings and emotions than ever before. Their awareness of the world, and of others around them is greater than possibly any other time in our history. And for most men, this is a noble step and learning the skills required for a balanced and thriving relationship, thus becoming a sacred masculine leader.

You may feel that in order to make your partner entirely satisfied that you need to ensure that they receive everything that they desire. This principle may appear sound on the surface, and it may even bear some fruit in the beginning, but that fruit will soon begin to spoil. There is certainly nothing wrong with treating your partner as an aristocrat or a noblewoman. I treat my LK as if she means the world to me. And she does.

Even so LK does not want me to be a doormat. She wants her man to be strong and independent. She wants to be treated with dignity and respect but also welcomes our differences as human beings. Lk relishes taking care of me, and also strongly craves to please me as well.

A healthy relationship will have both partners trying to please the other partner for no gain of their own. A selfless desire to please most women have an innate desire to Want to take care of champion and please their partner. This is a natural behavior driven by their divine feminine characteristics and traits. Receiving as well as giving pleasure.

There may be some men that feel as though dominance means to dominate. That alone may guide them to feel as though their pleasure should ultimately take precedence over their partner’s pleasure. There is an abundance of information in our society today that supports this mindset. The frame of mind is that as the dominant and as the leader, everything revolves around them. The leader of the pack eats first mentality. This satisfies his own needs and desires before everyone else’s. It affords him the strength and resilience to continue to be the leader and protect the pack in those in its charge. We see this scenario play out in the animal kingdom, and realize that it is the natural order of life for their survival. Many of us may like the idea of being the alpha of the pack in the strength and power that its position represents the thought of nobility granted to this animal by the entire pack for its protection alone, its willingness to fight to the death to protect the pack with no notice. And under any circumstances. This brave animal will lay it all on the line and is willing to pay the ultimate price to protect what is his even when facing certain defeat.

We see these animals as honorable, majestic, and virtuous, and they are relationships involving people revolve around attributes such as respect, trust, emotional intimacy, and sexual connection. The internet and social media seem to be full of memes and quotes that make this relationship style appear attractive. The alpha of the pack is the alpha for one reason only. And that is due to his size, strength, courage, and his ability to fight. He became the leader or the alpha of the pack. By not some form of democracy or social agreement by the others in the group. He became the leader of the pack by single-handedly launching his own coup on the previous leader. Anyone that didn’t agree.

Well, I guess they got their asses handed to them.

My thoughts on the matter at hand. As with most everything in life, there’s a fine line between too little and too much. Otherwise, it would be easy for all of us to find success and everything that we desire. So which man is right? The first scenario describes a man that values and understands his partner’s needs and desires. He is aware and open enough to realize that masculine leadership needs to have the capacity to hold and honor his own feminine energy. The feminine energy that I’m referring to is the acceptance and desire to please his partner. Nonetheless, men tend to be more singular, focused, and goal-oriented.

When we are solely focused on providing pleasure for our partner, we begin to lose sight of other important tasks in our lives. The man that is focused on only her pleasure is leading from feminine energy and not from a place of masculinity. As dominance as leaders when we focus our energy solely on one person’s happiness or pleasure, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.

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The second scenario describes a man that is driven solely by his needs and desires. He feels that his way and everything that he encompasses takes priority over everything and everyone else. This is a selfish view of the world and domineering towards other people. The leader of the pack scenario isn’t a healthy example of masculine leadership. It promotes an environment of no loyalty and no trust. The Alpha scenario works in the animal kingdom because the bottom line is survival and procreation. It does not work in a healthy flourishing relationship where most of us are searching for happiness, peace and fulfillment in our lives and integrated masculine man has balance. He not only possesses his natural, primal masculine energy, but he also has learned to nurture and develop his feminine energy as well. Like the man in the first scenario, the integrated masculine man recognizes the need to be more open and aware to his environment and to the people in it. he comprehends the value of being more present with his partner. Like the man in the second scenario, the integrated masculine man knows that he needs to be true to his natural, primal masculine energy. It is those base qualities that serve both him and his partner, the world and our environment is in constant flux. As leaders, we need to be flexible enough to meet the current situation. All too often and seriously, too often, in my opinion, men become too focused from a singular vantage point. This may be due to the inherent characteristics of the masculine energy. Nonetheless, we need to make an effort to be more aware and more open. I know that I certainly do.

The more difficult the task at hand the more forward-leaning, driven, and goal-oriented I become, my vision becomes narrowed as I tend to become laser focused. My finer skills like awareness and openness and empathy, tend to recede if not disappear altogether. Ideally, we should be able to provide each other pleasure in our intimate relationships without the trappings of keeping score. For myself personally, okay, His pleasure is of higher priority than my own. I would assume this would be true for most masculine men.

Some of the core characteristics associated with masculine energy are provider leader, action-taking, and goal-oriented. These are more rooted in the fundamental attributes of basic survival. As a masculine man, my own pleasure, doesn’t often get enough consideration. The core characteristics of the feminine energies are more entrenched in kindness, creativity, and compassion. It is a natural feminine characteristic to be more aware and nurturing than her counterpart. The feminine energy wants to please. Therefore with that said, I’m confident that LK has my pleasure is more important to her than her own pleasure. With all of this being said, our natural characteristic energies are always in motion. The balance that we desire is always fluctuating and never the same. There’ll be times when I crave my own pleasure over LKs pleasure. And they’ll be times when LK craves her pleasure more than getting me pleasure.

The real conundrum to this scenario in what makes it work for us is that LK and I both want to provide the other person with pleasure above the needs and desires of our own. What gives me pleasure is knowing that I am providing LK with pleasure. If she is pleased, then I must be a good leader, a good provider, and so on, which are core fundamental masculine energy traits.

What gives LK pleasure is serving and pleasing my needs and my desires. If I am pleased, then she feels successful. Sometimes during sexual encounters, I will let LK know that I am using her solely for my pleasure. I usually tell her that she can take pleasure if when and where she can find it during these situations. The paradox is that when I’m using her body for my own pleasure, and nothing more, I know that it drives her even more wild knowing that she can serve me at this capacity. She relishes the fact that I’m taking great pleasure from using her body.

In essence, she was finding great pleasure in pleasing me in my desires. We both tend to receive pleasure by giving pleasure. As I’ve just illustrated, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure also show up differently for the two of us. It works well because of our willingness to put the other person first in our relationship. It feeds us both Hey guys, do you have a minute today. You want to help me out. I get a great amount of feedback from guys like you wanting to know how you can help support me as well as As the host on podcasts, but you just don’t know how to go about that.

Right now, today, the most powerful thing that you can do to help support me and the husband podcast is to take a quick minute, literally a single minute. And from inside your podcast app, rate the husDOMs podcast with five stars, and give us a positive review. This enhances our podcast visibility more than anybody could imagine. And on a personal level, it allows me to know that you the listener, are finding value in the content that we’re putting out, and that you want more. It’s like candy to me. I love it. I love it when I know that I’m touching other men out there and having a powerful impact on their relationships. Guys, let me know that you want more

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