submissive Aftercare

“I would love to see a post on after care.”

Adequate submissive aftercare could well be the the single most important aspect of a D/s relationship. This statement applies equally to any type of relationship, married or not.

It has been much to my surprise to learn that aftercare appears to be deficient, if not a completely overlooked procedure, in some D/s relationships. Proper aftercare is crucial for the submissive and equally as important for the dominant.

When to initiate Aftercare

Aftercare should begin right after touchdown.  The plane may have landed but the flight is not over.  The captain still has a significant responsibility getting the aircraft to the gate and deplaning the passengers.

After the scene is over your submissive is in an extremely vulnerable state.  If she has journeyed into sub-space during play she will need some time to unwind while her mind catches back up to her body.  Her endorphin driven trance-like state is euphoric and similar to being heavily sedated.  Oftentimes, my LK will become cold within minutes and almost feel as though something is wrong, panicked, vulnerable.  This is where it becomes extremely important that I administer the proper aftercare.

Basic Aftercare Techniques

Experience tells me that LK will become chilled right after play. She needs to be quickly dried of any residual wetness and placed somewhere dry.  She will also require that I cover her with a blanket to keep her warm.  I will usually lay right up against her back, spooning, in an effort to maintain her core temperature, skin on skin.  My holding her in this manner also assures her that she is safe; that I am there to protect her. 

I stroke my Little Kaninchen’s hair and rub her entire body.  The areas of her body that I have left marked, bruised or sore I carefully rub with Arnicare, a homeopathic medicine for muscle pain, bruising and swelling.  I tell her how she has pleased me during the scene.  It is a wonderful time for me to express to her how much I appreciate her submission and that I am proud of her and her conduct.  I may offer her a drink or offer to help assist her to the restroom.

Physical Health Considerations

It is paramount after a heavy scene that your submissive hydrates.  My LK is quite the squirter and even with proper hydration immediately after our scene, her eyes will be dry and irritated later the same evening.  It is equally important that you have your submissive use the restroom shortly after play, especially if there was any anal play involved. Woman are definitely susceptible to urinary track infections associated with sex.

Most of the time my LK will have been in a deep sub-space and she will be completely exhausted. She physically and verbally may respond very little to my comments if at all, and drift right off to sleep.  None the less I recognize the significant psychological impact my aftercare has on her. Even if she does not answer me, and I know she won’t remember exactly what I say to her, I am confident that my holding her and the soothing sound of my voice helps to reassure her that everything is alright and that she is safe.

Remain Physically & Psychologically Present

I remain at lk’s side even while she rests.  I believe it is beneficial that when she wakes I am right there to once again hold her and provide her with a safe and secure atmosphere.  If she is sleeping soundly and I think she may not wake anytime soon, I may begin to clean up our scene.  When finished, I immediately crawl directly back into my bed beside her remain by LK’s side until she wakes.  As soon as she wakes I offer her my full undivided  attention.   I will resume spooning, rubbing and exclaiming how incredible she was during the scene.  Once again telling her that I appreciate her submission, that I am proud of her and that she is a good girl.

It is my personal preference but I usually instruct LK not to wear any lotion before our play.  I relish the smell of her bare skin.  When her skin is well lotioned it tends to get cold during flogging.  Often during aftercare I make sure to lotion her entire body.  Since my submissive is my prized possession I need to ensure that I leave her in better condition then when I started with her.

In summary, be sure to put your submissive away better than when you got her out!

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