Pleasing your Dominant During a Scene | Weekly wisDOM

After a light BDSM scene LK, My Lapine and I were taking a hot shower when I began to solicit her perspective regarding our scene. This is a common ritual for us as I feel strongly that to be an effective Dominant I need to know and understand the influence that I am having on my submissive; what her perception was of the scene.

Perception is reality
~Lee Atwater

LK and myself created what we refer to as ‘downtime’ as a method of communication and discovery between a Dominant and a submissive. We were employing downtime as I began to make inquiries as to lk’s most recent experience under my hand.

Initially LK’s mind was inert, reliving the event I believe, “Everything was perfect”, she purred. Of course there was some type of constructive feedback that I could obtain. I began asking her about certain events that took place during the scene. The questions were not intrusive or presumptuous, I was trying to formulate a clear picture in my mind as if I had a good read on her body as well as her mindset during our play. COUPLEINBEDSUBWITHBLINDFOLDSSPIOPT452

After answering several of my questions and follow up questions lk was confirming that my instincts were correct during our scene when I was reading her mindset as well as her body. Our conversation continued as I was searching for something that would further develop my skills as a Dominant. Then Lapine said something that was crucial…

“Do you remember during our scene when I was about to yellow and you sensed it? You did ‘abc’, which was alright, but if you would have done ‘xyz’ it would have made our scene even more intense!”


This was more than I could have hoped for… Little Kaninchen’s insight and perspective on a very specific act…

Lapine is blindfold flat on her back laying in our bed. She is bound in a chest harness with both of her upper arms secured tightly to her torso. At mid-waist she is wrapped with rope securing herright arm firmly to her stomach which placed her hand just above her pussy. The rope bondage binding her right arm only allows movement of her wrist.

Her ankles adorned ankle cuffs that were attached to an adjustable spreader bar that was positioned to a wider stance. Her legs were bent at the knees leaving her exposed and vulnerable.

I then placed the wand in lk’s right hand along with a firm reminder that she is not allowed to cum without my permission. This reminder was done with a series of questions instead of a command.  By using questions I believe that it brings LK’s mind into our scene and makes her more actively involved. I also assured lk that she would be ‘begging’ for release soon and it would not be as easy as simply asking for it today, she would have to earn it.SUBNAKEDINBEDSSPIOPT691

Without Lapine realizing it I stepped away and retrieved a pair of rotary nipple suction cups to place on her nipples. Upon my return I began caressing and nibbling on her neck and breasts. Using my lips, tongue and teeth I was unsuspectingly preparing her nipples for the rotary nipple suction cups. As I place the suction cup on her right nipple and began to apply suction she let out a slight moan. I sensed that it was partially a moan of surprise as well as a moan to the new sensation of pain. After securing the left suction cup to her other nipple I began tracing her body with a riding crop. As I continued tracing her body I began offering soft light flicks of the crop with my exploration. I could sense from her body language along with her continued moans that my Lapine was in more discomfort than I had originally intended.

Since becoming Kaninchen’s Dominant I have grown more acutely aware of lk’s body and her reaction to the many senses that she experiences during our scenes. My observations and instincts revealed to me that my Lapine was escalating toward using one of her safewords, “yellow”.

I surmised that the nipple suction cups must have been too tight.

With Lapine still in control of the wand I instructed her to open her mouth and I deliberately placed the shaft of the crop between her teeth and instructed her to bite down on the shaft of the crop and hold it in her mouth for me.

I then focused my attention on the rotary suction cups. Without much effort I could discern that the suction cups were indeed rather tight and most likely inflicting more pain than initially intended. The suction cup on her right breast looked as though it was the culprit. I began to slowly twist the rotary knob counter clockwise relieving some of the pressure. As the pressure began to subside the suction cup came completely loose separating from her nipple. Without hesitation I leaned forward and began to offer her nipple more attention with my mouth. She then let our another moan… A moan more of ecstasy…DOUBLE2OPT718

This was the precise moment that Little Kaninchen was referring to in our downtime discussion regarding our D/s scene.

“Do you remember during our scene when I was about to yellow and you sensed it? You removed the rotary suction cup from my nipple to relieve the pain, which was alright, but if you would have told me that you were going to remove the suction cup after counting down from 10, making me endure the pain for that period of time, it would have made me feel more successful in my submission.

Submissives want to please… By counting down from a number I would have given lk a goal, an objective to accomplish. LK’s motivation as a submissive would have been to meet this objective to satisfy her Dominant’s desires. LK could accomplish almost any task if she felt that by doing so she was going to please me.

Without such an objective lk has no opportunity to please me. By simply ‘removing’ the rotary suction cup I have also removed any opportunity to allow lk to please me.

If I could go back in time and rewrite the story…

I then focused my attention on the rotary suction cups. Without much effort I could discern that the suction cups were indeed rather tight and most likely inflicting more pain than initially intended. The suction cup on her right breast looked as though it was the culprit.

“Is this suction cup a little too tight for your liking Lapine?”

“Yes Sir”

As I begin to flick the suction cup with my fingers lk lets out another gasp.

“Hold still Lapine.” Flicking the suction cup again, “I am going to count down from 10 before removing this suction cup from your breast. I want you to edge yourself with the wand but you are not allowed to cum. Do you understand Lapine?”

“Yes Sir”

This simple action would have given lk an opportunity to demonstrate how she could please me by enduring the pain, without yellowing, until I was prepared to allow her relief. This would feed her as a submissive.

This action is exactly what feeds me as a Dominant as well. The control that I have over my submissive and even more so the ability for lk to withstand the intensity of the suction cup to just please me.

I can not rewrite history in this particular situation, but I have discovered through downtime with my Lapine, how to improve my skills as a Dominant which will enhance our future D/s scenes.

Exchanges of power are not limited to just the bedroom. Listen and acknowledge your submissive’s thoughts and feelings. This skill will deepen your D/s and aid in forming a stronger bond between you.


Pleasing Your Dominant During a Scene

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  1. Very nice post Mr. Fox. I agree with you on how you would have “rewritten” the moment in the scene, especially the count down. I sometimes use the countdown with darling and it is indeed very much a tool that helps increase the D/s feeling. As my understanding of my sadistic needs has grown I have learned how to enjoy the pain that I give to darling. In a moment as you described, I may have even tightened the clamp as I counted before giving her relief. I may even push her further and have her do the counting while I enjoyed her suffering for me.

    So many moments could have been rewritten and made more intense. Talking about these moments is what gives us the knowledge to do it better next time.

    Well done

    My Darlings Sir

    1. MyDarlingsSir,

      Yes, I really like the idea of tightening the clamp just a little prior to release.

      “So many moments could have been rewritten and made more intense. Talking about these moments is what gives us the knowledge to do it better next time.”

      That is what makes this community so wonderful…

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

    2. This post came to mind last night in a significant way. My GG and I were in the shower with her back against the wall while I had my way with her. I told her to put her hands above her head and keep them there. After a few moments she said “Sir, my arms are hurting.” Without stopping I told her to count down from ten and then she could lower them.

      With each count I thrust again and again. When she hit 1 and her arms dropped she had an intense orgasm that almost made her knees buckle. Thus one piece of advice did wonders. Thank you.

  2. Great post Mr. Fox,
    I like that you discuss previous scenes in order to learn from them and that both of you caught the same thing. sl and I have similar review discussions in downtime. I also appreciate the subtle but powerful way that a difficulty in a scene could have been used to further the night and heighten the intensity. Makes me wonder how many of these opportunities I miss myself. It will make me be more observant.
    Many thanks,

  3. Mr. Fox,
    As Thanatoi said, I am sure I have missed many of these opportunities. This is an excellent and even moving illustration of how to handle elegantly moments that could distract or even derail a scene–if only momentarily. I applaud how well you see into lk’s mindset in particular and the sub mindset in general. I intend to emulate this, too.

    Great food for thought.

  4. While I do not have a girl in my life full time right now, I have been dating and just started playing with two lovely ladies. One is purely play as she live over seas but is in town for a few weeks. The other is a potential girlfriend.

    In both scenes I found that I was able to sense when things were going too far then back off and start again. That was key with both women. backing off and the ramping back up to and beyond the pain that was too much the first time.

    Before I play with either again I certainly see the value of discussing the previous scene to refine the plans for the new scene.


  5. Mr Fox,

    Thank you for sharing. My beautiful Angel and I did our first D/s scene last night, while flogging her I got her a little harder than intended, I saw that it hurt her and because of your words I already had the solution, using the flogger to tickle the area. She said in downtime that she almost called out yellow, but because of the plan it ended up being one of her favorite parts.

    Thank you again,

    Mr E

    1. Mr E,

      Wonderful sir!

      This is the exact reason that I began sharing my personal journey… I wanted to help others discover D/s-M and do it without making all of the same missteps that I made throughout my journey. By acknowledging the mistake without saying a word demonstrates that you are completely aware of her in every manner and doing so while still remaining Dominant. This is where a new level of trust begins to develop.

      You have put a smile on my face this morning.

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

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