D/s Dynamic | Dam or Damning Your D/s
D/s Dynamic | Do Not Dam Your D/s
What do you do when you have envisioned a certain situation or scenario as the Dominant and your submissive does not behave or react in the manner that you had envisioned?
Before entering the shower you lay your submissive’s butt plug on the desk in front of her as she is typing on her computer. No spoken words are necessary to explain your wishes and nor do you attach any words to your actions.
After exiting the shower you see your submissive jump up and run over to insert her butt plug to satisfy your unspoken instructions.
Instantly, you feel as though your submissive has not granted you her proper attention. She has been chatting on the subMrs community to other submissives and has not tended to your wishes.
You call your submissive into the bathroom and ask her to produce the butt plug… She reaches her hand out and forfeits the butt plug as per your request. You take the butt plug and place it in the upper drawer of your vanity and begin to fix your hair without a word spoken.
What have you just done?
Many husDOM’s may feel as though they have just taught their submissive a valuable lesson, the lesson being that if she wants your attention then she needs to provide you with her undivided attention.
Many submissives, however, may feel as though you have just shut them out completely, that you have just erected a dam in the stream of your D/s-M.
By placing the butt plug in the vanity drawer and proceeding as though nothing at all had taken place you actually stopped the D/s dynamic completely.
Think of your D/s dynamic as if it were a flowing river. As the river approaches an obstacle in it’s path, the river or your D/s 
dynamic will need to become flexible in order to continue to flow around the obstacle. This flexibility or minor direction change will allow the river to continue to flow. As the river changes course and begins to flow in a slightly different direction keep in mind that it is still continuing to flow.
If you were to take an action that dams the river or stops it’s flow altogether you have essentially stopped your D/s dynamic or dammed your D/s. You have eliminated the opportunity to continue the flow and try to re-direct the water flow in a more desired direction.
Flexibility to keep the D/s-M Flowing.
After exiting the shower you see your submissive jump up and run over to insert her butt plug to satisfy your unspoken instructions.
Instantly, you feel as though your submissive has not granted you her proper attention. She has been chatting on Little Kaninchen’s blog to other submissives and has not tended to your wishes.
You call your submissive into the bathroom and ask her to produce the butt plug… She reaches her hand out and forfeits the butt plug as per your request…
You take the butt plug from your submissive’s hand and look your submissive in her eyes and ask her why she didn’t insert the butt plug as you wished.
After carefully listening to her response, you pause for a moment and extend your hand offering the butt plug and instructing her to insert the butt plug. You may continue by telling her that you are displeased and that she is going to wear the butt plug during the evening for her indiscretion. Explain to her that her punishment will be the aching of her desire to be used by you. The anal plug will add a nice pleasurable ache as well as a reminder to be more aware of you and your desires.
After this scenario the D/s river continues to flow. It may not be flowing exactly how you had envisioned it would flow when you first stepped into the shower but it is flowing in a healthy D/s direction none the less.
Veterans Beware
As Dominants begin to develop their own brand of D/s-M or when their training wheels come off, they tend to lose much of the flexibility that they once possessed when they were newer to the scene. Their expectations of their submissive continue to grow and they are less willing to allow the river to get off course. This rigid behavior is in essence creating a dam in their D/s river and bringing the entire D/s dynamic to a halt.
It was the submissive’s responsibility to please her Dominant but remember that it is the Dominant’s responsibility to keep the D/s dynamic river flowing.
D/s Dynamic | Do Not Dam Your D/s
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