Bratty submissive | Married Dominance and submission | Dominant Training

Bratty SubMrs

Dealing with my Bratty submissive / subMrs can oftentimes prove to be difficult due to several factors:

  • my submissive is also my wife
  • we have young children that are still at home
  • we are in the BDSM closet to almost everyone that we know

I have learned that when my submissive, Little Kaninchen, begins to act out, she is wanting, needing, even craving my attention. She acts out in a playful manner but she is acting out none-the-less. lk is testing me as a Dominant. She is also telling me as a Dominant that she needs more attention and that she hungers for my attention, leadership, and correction.

SUBONDOMSLAPINCHAIRSSPIOPT40,Bratty subMrs, Married Dominance and submission,Dominant TrainingIf I am going to be a consistent and effective Dominant I will have to learn to serve her needs.  Too often Dominants want to serve only the low hanging needs of their submissives.  What I mean by this is that they are all into being a Dominant for easy and fun things such as being in charge and the great sex associated with Dominance and submission but when the time comes when they need to assert their Dominance, some falter and fail miserably.  This is even more difficult to manage than it may appear on the surface.  It is essential for us to rise to the occasion when we need to and also do so without being domineering.

The story below is my inspiration for the blog post. It took place just a couple of weeks ago in our home.

Bratty little kaninchen

lk and I had just gotten out of the shower and were getting ready to leave the house and grab a quick lunch. I passed by her in our great room as I was walking out of our bedroom and she headed back from the laundry room with the rest of her outfit. I suggested to her that she hurry and finish up so we would be back in time to meet our son from the school bus.

lk playfully mocked me. She knew that we didn’t have much time and probably thought, “What is he going to do about it?”

Decisive Dominant

I had a decision to make right then and there. Do I let it go, after all, she was being playful? Or do I punish her for her disrespect? Also, I am trying to figure out what response she is expecting from me. Does she want to be bent over my knee and have her ass assaulted right here, right now? I decided that as a legitimate Dominant I could not allow this to happen without acknowledgment followed by some sort of action.  She has confirmed to me several times that she takes our D/s relationship seriously and she wants more, wants to take it to the next level.

I looked at her with a devilish smile and said, “Kaninchen, I am going to have to give you a spanking for such disrespect.” As I began saying that to her she lunged toward our bedroom door with a childish giggle.

Consequences for being a Bratty submissive

As I ran her down, conveniently I caught her right beside our bed. I drug her closer to the bed as she struggled against my efforts. I bent her over the mattress at her waist and pulled her pants down around her ankles.

A month earlier I had her pick out a nice leather strap that I would use to punish her with. I ordered her to remain in that position on our bed as I turned around and retrieved the strap from our armoire. As I approached her laying over the edge of our bed I asked her to tell me why she was about to be punished.

She said quietly, “For being disrespectful, Sir”

Alas, she knew exactly what she had done and that her actions were bratty and disrespectful.  I then exclaimed that she was going to receive ten strokes with the strap that she had eloquently named, “The MotherFucker” for its no-nonsense kind of brutality. Kaninchen does like a little pain but this was a punishment, not pleasure.  Punishments are given with absolutely no warm-up.

I wondered, would this be too much. Would she protest at my reaction and punishment to her fleeting moment of brattiness?  In other words, did the punishment fit the crime?  And then of course, I wondered what would I do if she did?

I treasure my lk and certainly don’t want to cause her any harm.

Count out loud for me lk

I tell her to count the swats out loud for me……….shutterstockpdimagedomesticstrap,Bratty subMrs, Married Dominance and submission,Dominant Training

Smack! Her ass barely flinched as the leather begins to leave a nicely defined mark across both of her ass cheeks. “One”, she says.

I can tell that the strike is a struggle for her as the leather strap is no joke, especially on the unprepared skin of her ass.  I remind her to breathe…

After the fourth strike, I can see her breathing settle into the rhythm with my strokes and she is practically moaning as she continues to count off the swats for me.

“eight, nine, TEN”


After I had finished all ten of the strokes I put the leather strap back in the armoire where it belonged and grabbed the Arnicare from the top shelf.  I then turned back around facing lk’s now very red bottom.  lk received her discipline and now she required aftercare.

As I approached her I spoke in a soft gentle voice as I reminded her why I had punished her.  I cracked the lid open on the Arnicare tube and squeezed some in my hand.  As I gently rubbed the ointment into her beaten skin, I could literally feel the searing heat coming from her red hot ass.

I held lk in my arms for the next few minutes with no words spoken.  Finally, using just my hand this time, I gave her a soft swat on her still beautifully red ass and told her that she really needed to hurry now.

She reached down to the floor grabbing her pants and pulled them back up around her waist.  She walked over to the full-length dressing mirror to straighten her disheveled clothes and make herself look like she hadn’t just been spanked by her Dominant husband.

As I began to leave the room, out of the corner of my eye I saw her stick her tongue out at me in the mirror.

Dominance is about Consistency

I immediately turned back around and confronted her about her disrespect. She of course denied that she had done anything at all.

lk and I  have written rules and one of those rules is that she is to answer all of my questions without hesitation and with complete honesty.

I asked her again and reminded her of our rule and that she must obey them. She began to speak and then hesitated. With her hesitation, I knew instantly that what I thought I saw her do, I did in fact see her do.

Instinctive Dominance

I drug her over to the bed again, bending her at the waist and ripping her pants down to her ankles again not saying a word. She began a nervous giggle as she struggled. She doesn’t normally struggle or giggle. When her pants dropped to the floor, her beautiful ass was already a swollen bright pink color from the strapping just minutes earlier.

I began to spank her bright red ass quickly and hard. She continued to struggle with me and never stopped her giggle. I pinned both of her hands behind her back and faced away from our bed kneeling over top of her. My back was toward her head and I had both of her hands pinned with my legs so she couldn’t cover up from the onslaught of spankings.

Her already sensitive ass was receiving a veracious spanking.

I was no longer concerned about the time and us being late or what I thought she really wanted or didn’t want. I was doing what felt natural for me at the moment.

Sexual Dominance

When I was sure that her ass could take no more of my assault, I climbed off of her back and positioned myself behind her. I firmly placed one hand on her back just below her neckline and between her shoulder blades and held her to the mattress. Without warning, I shoved my cock deep into her. I pushed it all of the way in her with one hard stroke and stopped.

Kaninchen quit breathing for a minute.

I had caught her by surprise not only by the assault on her ass but now by taking her hard and fast without warning. Her next breath was a low moan as her sex began to stretch around my still cock. She was already in sub-space from the spanking. With my cock still buried deep inside of her I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her face off of the mattress and said sternly, “Kaninchen, don’t you dare cum! You are mine and I am going to do as I please.”

You are mine

With my hand still grasping her by her hair, I forced her head back on the mattress and began to fuck her as hard as I could. It was if she was in a trance, she made no effort to resist me. Her entire body was quivering from sensory overload. Her moaning was completely involuntary. She looked like she would explode at any second. I smacked her ass as hard as I could and reminded her that she had better not cum, that she was mine and I would do as I pleased.

My command had no effect whatsoever, she was deep in her sub-space. I could feel my own self-control begin to weaken. I bent down and bit her on the back of her neck as I came deep inside her.

As I pulled out of her as quickly as I took her, I smacked her on her sensitive red ass again and told her to finish getting ready, we were running late.

As I was leaving the room I dared her to try me again. She walked over to me, kissed me on the cheek, and thanked me. She said that she was, in fact, wondering what I was going to do about it and appreciated what I had done.

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  1. Wow, great story. Im not one to comment much but wanted to take a moment to say Thanks for sharing. I’ve been in this lifestyle for some time and have an experienced Dom. We follow very similar paths and expectations of each other as you and your partner. It can be challenging to ‘switch gears’ when your one way in the bedroom and another with the kids or vanilla friends. They don’t know what they are missing. It does truly bring you closer and strengthen the bond. As a sub I could see she likely wanted what you dished out. Good girl for not cuming… I find it almost difficult to cum now without being given permission, I’m not complaining. I love my Dom

  2. Sub,

    Thank you for commenting. Since you don’t comment often I am honored that you chose my blog to comment on.

    LK and myself feel much like you regarding the vanilla’s not knowing what they are missing. We only wish that we would have figured it out years ago but we are certainly thankful that we figured it out now.


  3. Mr.Fox,

    I love reading this!

    I have read your bogs four times and am starting my fifth.

    I love the Dominance and the struggle that took place on the assault on your LK’s ass. Being consistent is very important in a D/s dynamic and reading this the situation was handled spot on . The struggle, Domance, usage and filling in the end set the tone, leaving her sore, horny and put in her place.

    As Dominants we all will arrive at the cross roads you write about, asking ourselves “do I stand my ground?” You did not cave or falter, as you where confident in your actions, knowing what your LK and relationship needed in order to have a proper D/s-M dynamic.

    I have read this blog four times and have considered this a funishment of sorts. Now reading this I no longer think that way, as your LK was not aloud an O. Instead her thoughts over lunch are a sore ass and hungry sex. I see a punishment and a Dominant taking what is his and setting the tone, not allowing his rules to go unchecked!

    Great blog!

    Best regards,

  4. In short time I’ve been in this lifestyle, I can see ware my inconsistentcy in the past has caused so much of our ebb and flow problem. This has pointed out several of my mistakes and has given me reason to reflect on them. You have given my kitten and I much to contemplate in our down time. This story has brought a hole new sence of connection to us. Thank you for all of your help.

    1. Sir,

      Thank you for your comment. I am truly honored that sharing my story has been inspirational or helpful to others.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  5. Excellent post. A few questions: 1. Why was she acting out? 2. Should a true sub challenge your Dominance? 3. Can I expect ‘brattiness’ from time to time?

    1. anchored,

      1. In my opinion lk was acting out to see what I would do. We had discussed the power exchange and agreed to it but it had never really been tested. It was in place but almost like theory instead of practice. Not because we didnt believe in it but more because there hadn’t been any type of test of our resolve.

      2. ‘True sub’. I try to avoid phrases like true sub or real sub. Each submissive or Dominant is as real as they see the role in their personal dynamic and who would I be to judge? As I have written in the article there are many reasons why I see that a submissive may challenge one’s Dominance. If we were perfect Dominants with no faults and 100% consistency then maybe a submissive would never have a need to challenge but we are all only human.
      3. Each Dominance and submission relationship is different so it is difficult to say. Most submissives use brattiness as playful and wanting their Dominants attention. Infrequently it is meant with disrespect.

      Great questions!

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  6. After some quiet reflection, i believe the proper course is to communicate in lieu of reacting. Not knowing the full context of this scene and not knowing LK’s full personality, on the surface it appears she was soliciting attention from her Dom. She was reactionary in her behavior and not communicating her desire. Did you punish her? Or was this the attention she wanted all along?

    1. anchored,

      YES, agreed 100%… Good point!

      In our particular scenario I believe that it was something that needed to take place in order for us to grow into something better. Like a butterfly that has a metamorphosis process from an egg, larva, pupa to an adult, we needed to have certain milestones in our relationship to confirm the passage into the next phase.

      Without this unspoken milestone or metamorphosis we may not have grown past who we were at that time.

      Communication is the answer.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  7. Mr. Fox thank you for sharing, it has helped me realize that the dim in me is more interested in my sub following muy orders and thwart the bratty behavior I was willing to tolerate has at times gone out of control. I now realizes that while some”bratty” is enjoyable. I like the challenge, I do need to be firm in the acting that I will not tolerate and not be so concerned Abbott the injury to get pride. Orders as to be followed.
    Thank you again for sharing.

    1. golden,

      As we all know there are so many different situations and scenarios that it is often difficult to know what is correct in the moment. And with that, each moment is different. I have made an effort to identify when lk is being playful bratty and when she is being disrespectful bratty. For lk and I, she hasn’t been disrespectful bratty probably from the day of this incident forward. And I am thankful that this experience still allows her to be playful bratty without having to worry about what type of mood that I am in that day.

      Just like all relationships there is that fine line of knowing your partner and knowing their intentions. And yes, this can sometimes be challenging. That is why we need to always be fully present and fully engaged in our relationships.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  8. A perfect picture of two of the most necessary ingredients in this lifestyle: Consistency and follow through! Well put.

  9. My sub is close to accepting and surrendering to the lifestyle. This week she showed me an abundance of bratty ness. I cut off our daily emails and late night romantic phone calls. She has responded back and wants to be my sub MRS.
    I need move tips on seducing her mind. She knows I want to spank her and she wants to experience. But I need to get her closer to submission.

    1. Blank Canvass,

      I am a little confused to be honest. She hasn’t committed to the lifestyle yet you are cutting off romantic phone calls and texts?

      The way to create a positive D/s-M dynamic is to begin by seducing her mind. It shouldn’t begin with taking something away from her making her feel as though she has to submit in order to be part of your life.

      You are staring out this journey on the wrong foot…

      Spend some time on the chat and you will begin to see what D/s-M is all about.

      Hope to see you there,

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

    1. comn,

      When this particular incident took place in our personal dynamic lk was searching for something more in the lifestyle, in our personal dynamic. She was looking for a distinct moment when I was taking my role as Dominant more seriously and taking control. When it was obvious that we had crossed a line that was not just sexual but also in our day to day lives such as going to lunch.

      Looking back at this moment I do not believe that I would handle the situation in the exact same manner today as I did then. However, I also feel that it was exactly what we needed in that moment in our dynamic to continue in our growth.

      Brats can mean many different things in different dynamics. I am confident that in almost all dynamics that a bratty submissive desires her Dominant’s attention, good or bad. lk is still sometimes bratty in a playful way and I am almost always playful back with her today. But I do recognize what it is that she is really saying when she is bratty.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  10. How do you find the time/privacy to do some of the louder things with kids in the house, especially as they get older and get into the pre teen / teenage years?

    1. ohmymrcraig,

      Great question Sir as this can still be a struggle in my household from time to time. I would say that we need to remain spontaneous in our actions. That we can not always expect to have the perfect time and the perfect place to maintain any lifestyle. We need to take advantage of each moment that we have. If we only have 20 minutes we need to take full advantage of the 20 minutes that we do have. With that being said, if I was shackled by a time restraint like 20 minutes, I would plan my actions accordingly and not try to move the earth.

      I can say that spontaneity by itself is pretty freaking hot.

      I can also say that sometimes I get caught in the trap of trying to find the perfect time or the right time I should say. It is seldom there… We need to use what we have and make the most of it.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

  11. My subwife was being a little bratty over the last week. She had been on her cycle and we limit punishments and corrections for sanitary reasons, but she signaled that she was done by wearing a thong to bed last night. After the kids were in bed and asleep, I took her to the garage and dealt with her attitude. The belt was warm after I was done. Turns out its exactly what she was looking for. On the way back to the bedroom I put her over the furniture and tried to break the couch. I let my kitten purr, but I made it clear that I was allowing it because despite her behavior, she had also been a good girl on many occasions over the past several days. She woke up this morning and resumed the routine that I had for her and went off to work very happy. We are only a few weeks into this dynamic, but have been married for 21 years. I am a very masculine man with a successful career in the military under my belt, but this is the most masculine I have felt in my marriage in a very long time and she seems genuinely satisfied in her place. * Honest question (and I dont want to sound bad here)… Is it normal for the husDom to get sexually aroused when spanking their subwife? I have been extremely aroused and she has commented that it feels thicker than it used to prior to her submitting and me taking the role as her Dom.

    1. Lion of the House,

      Welcome abaord,

      For myself, spanking is one of the most errotic actions in our entire relationship. The submission demonstrated by lk while she is bending over my knee is amazing. I enjoy the feeling of my skin on her skin, the touch. The heat that builds on my hand as it builds on her ass. To anser your question, Yes… I find spanking lk very arousing. All of the spanking that I perform is sexual in our relationship.

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

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