Planting A Seed

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

planting, seed, man, fantasy, relationship, dominant, arousal, masculine, manipulative, woman, partner, sexy, scene, thought, discussion, life, desires, feel, lk, idea

SPEAKERS

Intro, Mr Fox 

Mr Fox   00:00

On believable, I recorded this entire podcast episode at home in my nice studio with my nice recording equipment, just knowing that the audio is going to be so much better than the previous couple of episodes. Well, it turns out when I went to edit the podcast just now that all the audio is all, it’s a jumbled mess and the audio sounds like a Charlie Brown cartoon. It’s terrible. Before I left on this trip, I actually woke up before the sun rose that morning, just to capture the audio. So all I had to do was a quick edit, and publish. And it’s unfortunate right? already invested my time, my energy. And not to mention I set expectations. I had expectations of getting the episode edited and dropped tonight. But now you know what? That’s already behind me. I have my portable microphone right now that I’m using in my hotel room on the desk. And I’m just going to do it again. Otherwise, I’d be lost in regret, regret and frustration and make no progress toward my goals, right? I’m not going to let this slow me down. I’m not going to let it deter me. I’m going to stay focused. Right? And the reason that I’m mentioning this in my podcast today because to me, this is masculine dominant leadership. Right, just get the job done. Not feeling sorry for myself, not going to make excuses. I’m not going to blame anybody else. And all the time that I would do that. I could just record the episode again and go on. So take what you have and make it happen. Don’t play the victim. Don’t blame others. Don’t blame your circumstances. Just get it done. Today’s episode, well, it is not going to be recorded from my home studio, rather, this evening. This episode is recorded in Paris, France. right just a little bit more info tomorrow. I’m going to depart Paris for Hong Kong. The next day will fly north to Seoul, South Korea. And then I’ll begin to make my journey home. This trip just like the last trip is another around the world journey for me. But this time we’re going to circle the globe the other direction. Thank you everyone for joining me today. And let’s get this podcast started.

Intro  02:32

By 43210 All engine running. We have a look.

Mr Fox   03:04

Welcome, everyone, this is Mr. Fox, the host and founder of the has DOM dominant leader podcast, a community of men choosing masculinity, striving for excellence and fulfillment in all areas of our lives with some kinky dominance and submission BDSM fun as well.

Mr Fox   03:29

In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss planting a seed. What is it? What does it mean? And the real concern to me is if somebody were to say, Isn’t planting a seed just incognito for manipulating your partner? Keep listening to find out why I feel that planting a seed is one of the most important and powerful tools for a masculine dominant leader today. And towards the end of the episode, I will give an example discuss and offer a few robust tips regarding sending a sexy meme or a text to plant a seed with your wife or your apartment.

Mr Fox   04:18

Before we get into this podcast today, I want to share a short audio clip from one of our husbands discussions last week. First, let me give you guys a little background to the discussion. For those of you that don’t know, for over a decade now, LK and myself have dedicated ourselves to helping couples discover happiness, passion, commitment, and rekindle the flame in their relationships. We author articles through blogs, we run online DS communities, we coach individuals, we coach couples and through our communities we also conduct regular live zoom discussions So, we LK and I make ourselves available to our membership to teach as well as to mentor and to coach in group setting. Right, these members actually have access to us they talk to us live in real time, get our comments. What I want to share with you today is from last week’s discussion on how Azzam it was a husband discussion, I bought a short audio clip of myself and a couple other members discussing, you guessed planning a seat. This audio clip is four minutes long, but I did I really wanted to share some of the discussion with you. I thought it was powerful. So sit back and enjoy

Mr Fox   05:52

because I’ll tell you what was going through my crazy mind the other day, because I do talk a lot about planting the seed. And I know that’s like the monthly theme that our case in but like I use that term a lot, because I think that’s what a lot of leadership is in my mind, right? It’s not like dictatorship. It’s not like, Hey, you do this because I’m the boss. It’s more like, as a dominant, how am I going to get okay to want to do these things? Right. And one of the questions that went through my mind, because I don’t feel it’s manipulative at all. I don’t feel I’m being manipulative, right. But as I started thinking this through the other day, when I wrote a response, I started thinking about my words, like, I don’t want to come across that I’m trying to be manipulative to okay, because I don’t feel that I am. If I want somebody to change their behavior around me, I can affect it directly. By the words, I choose what I choose to respond to, what I want to say how I respond to it. And I think that’s leadership. And I think it goes hand in hand with planting the seed, I think, you know, when you toss out an idea, and then somebody else begins to grow it. And as they began to even grow it, if you’re having discussions happening out loud, you can even kind of guide it from there a little bit. Right? Or it could be as simple as a compliment. Like, that’s what I was selling, when the other day, is that that’s what I would do, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t have the direct back to his conversation, I wouldn’t have a direct sit down, like, Hey, I would like you to change your personality, I would do that. I would champion what she did. That was what I liked. What I wanted to see more of or closer to what I liked, and I wouldn’t mention the other stuff. And I personally think is being a parent, I wish I understood this at the beginning of being a parent that understand it now, right? I’m a different man today. But same thing with my kids. Like it’s not just telling them no all the time, right? It’s if you want them to react a certain way or be a certain way, I even think it’s not just human beings. It’s not just women, it’s not submissive is when you think about animals. You think about your dog, you think even about your cat, like most people want to please other people. And if they know that you like something, or that something’s pleasing you if they know it, probably even on a subconscious level, they’re probably going to do those things or start doing them more often. To me that’s planting the seed. But I’m curious. I think as long as you’re not being deceptive. I don’t think it’s manipulative, right. But I’m wondering how you guys feel on that one? Because when I started thinking about how would I explain the difference? I got further and further and further into my own thoughts. So I’m wondering if you guys pretty much agree with what I said. And then if you don’t, I’d love to hear that the other side? And then if you do, I’m curious. If you guys feel it’s manipulative or not, when you’re planting a seed, when you’re putting the idea out there that you’d like to see that behavior go in that way, without saying it directly.

08:58

Don’t think it is I mean, you’re just trying to enlighten them and in the areas that you want to go. I mean, it’s not like you’re saying, Hey, this is what we’re gonna do. But you’re saying this is what I prefer to do. I think it makes perfect sense.

09:19

I think, you know, I agree. When you think of deception, I kind of think of what is it that you’re trying to do it again in a deceptive negative man. So you’re looking for a selfish outcome, I think, where if you’re planting a seed, it’s, it’s a growth, something that to to benefit from. So if I’m looking, let’s say to denature go to a certain direction. And I’m planting the seed. It’s because there’s a growth involved, that has a positive outcome for both parties. Where if you’re planning a thought for deception, it’s to me it’s the most because it’s got to be self serving the It has nothing to do with the, the sob or the person. It’s self gratification. And there’s no growth in it. It’s just for me, and I don’t care what your thoughts are. And I’m going to plant this thing in your head so that I get what I want out of it. And to me, that’s the deceptiveness. That person is almost blindsided to what’s going on.

Mr Fox   10:32

Here, the eagle has landed, planting a seed. What is it? What does it even mean? And isn’t planting a seed just manipulating your partner? And why do i Mr. Fox, consider this, planting a seed to be one of the most important tools for a masculine dominant leader today. So what does planting a seed mean? Well, planting a seed is a metaphorical expression. That means introducing an idea or suggestion or a thought in a subtle or indirect way, with the intention that the idea will take root and grow. It is a masculine leadership technique often used in communication to influence or persuade others without being overly forceful, or direct. Right? When someone plants a seed in a conversation, they’re typically laying the groundwork for a particular concept or notion to develop naturally in that listeners mind. And this can be done through subtle hints. It can be done through anecdotes, questions, statements, something that piques the curiosity, or stimulates thought. The idea is that over time, the person who received the suggestion may come to adopt or even consider that the idea was that of their own without feeling like they were pushed, or manipulated into it. Right. For example, if a parent wants to encourage their child to become interested in science, they might regularly share interesting science facts. They might show them some science related videos or documentaries, they might take them to science museums. By doing all of those things, right? They’re planting the seed the seed of curiosity and interest in science in their child’s mind, hoping that their child would develop a genuine interest is planting a seed, nothing more than manipulation. The effectiveness and ethicality of planting a seed and communication depend on the intent behind it and how it is used. It can be a very valuable tool for inspiring positive change or promoting understanding when employed ethically and transparently. If the intent behind planting a seed is to manipulate or deceive someone that can be considered manipulative, right. Manipulative planting of a seed involves using psychological tactics to influence someone’s thoughts, their feelings or behavior without their full awareness or their consent. For example, if someone suddenly plants a seed of doubt or fear in another person’s mind, to control their actions, that would be a manipulative use of the technique. Ultimately, whether planting a seed is manipulative or not depends on the context and the intent and how it is executed. As a masculine dominant leader, it’s essential to be aware of the ethical implications of using this technique and to use it responsibly. planting a seed in your married dominance and submission relationship. Now that we understand what is meant when we talk about planting a seed, and the difference between using it ethically, or in a manipulative manner, how can we incorporate this into our married DS relationship? planting a seed in a married relationship often involves gently introducing ideas, suggestions or discussions to foster understanding and growth and a positive change. planting a seed is instrumental in creating a proper mindset in the relationship as well as a whole but also for upcoming events, such as a scene, right? Sexual anticipation is cultivated primarily by planting a seed. The key to planting a seed in a marriage is to do it with love to do it with respect, and a genuine desire to improve the relationship. It’s essential to be open to your partner’s responses and work together to find solutions and make decisions that benefit both parties. Effective communication and mutual understanding are crucial in ensuring that the seed grows positively within the relationship. Here are a couple steps to help you do this effectively. First, choose the right time in the right place. Use downtime. Use downtime as your primary tool in order to create a comfortable and private setting where both you and your partner can speak openly without distractions, or the fear of judgment or ridicule. express love and desire. Start the conversation by expressing your love and attraction to your partner. Let them know that you value your relationship and you want to enhance your intimacy together. Listen, actively. Encourage and allow your partner the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively without judgment to what they have to say. Share your desires. Be open and honest about your own desires, your own fantasies, and what you would like to explore or change in your sex life. Try using an if statement to express your feelings and desires such as I would love to write, I would love it if we could try this. I’ve been thinking about that. Ask for input. Encourage your partner to share their desires and fantasies to write ask questions like Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try in the bedroom? Or what can I do to make our sex life more satisfying for you? Explore together. If you both express interest in trying new things, or making changes, explore these new things together. This might involve trying new activities, positions, incorporating more BDSM. Maybe it’s more romance and intimacy into your relationship. Prioritize communication. Make communication about your sex life an ongoing part of your relationship. That is so huge, right? That’s something that we weren’t taught as married couples. Use downtime regularly to check in with each other to see how you can continue to improve and maintain or fulfilling sex life. A woman’s arousal is different than a man’s arousal, right? How do you keep the fire burning with anticipation? It’s no secret by now that for a woman their largest sex organ is their brain. And that says a lot because a woman’s clitoris is much, much larger than most people even realize, right? That’s an entirely different topic for an entirely different podcast. But it’s true. Men get aroused rather easily. Wouldn’t you agree? And according to Psychology Today, erotic stimuli immediately activates the parts of a man’s brain related to getting an erection. That erotic stimuli is often a visual stimulation. Yep, men seem to focus on body parts for arousal. And unlike women, men’s sexual arousal can exist whether there is a relationship present or not. That is what makes porn so prevalent and addictive for men. Men can simply click on a computer screen and be aroused in mere seconds. This is usually not the case for a woman however, right? Women are far less turned on by visual images than men. What seems to turn a woman on more than the image itself is the fantasy that she creates write the fantasy in her mind that she draws from looking at that image. She might find bits and pieces of the image sexy, but it’s really the story in her mind that she creates around that image. For example, if the image is that of a woman that is is bound and being sexually objectified by a loving dominant partner. Yes, the woman may be turned on by the picture itself. But most likely, most likely a more substantial turn on for her is the idea of a loving masculine man. One that she could fantasize about. fantasize about having a relationship with

Mr Fox   20:28

the man that has complete control over her mind, her body, and her soul. A masculine man that cares deeply for her, and cares deeply for her well being one that wants to provide and protect her, but also wants to take her to the deepest, darkest places of her fantasies, right. Wanting to feed and nourish himself with her presence and her flesh. Also knowing that her purpose of pleasing Him is uninhibited by normal constraints of what is considered proper in today’s society. And that with this inhibition, she’ll be taken care of protected, appreciated, desired and used to serve his sexual pleasure. Yes, a woman’s deep dark secret fantasies are generally often exaggerated. They’re edgy, and based on fiction, right? Much like a romance novel. I hear so many men say things like, well, I can’t be that guy. And I’m not rich, and I don’t own a yacht. And I don’t have my own private airplane. And on and on and on, it goes right. For those guys. Set your ego aside for a minute. The woman isn’t asking for any of those material things. It’s her fantasy is just a fantasy. One that creates arousal for her and makes her wet in wanting. Don’t discourage this behavior with a lack of self confidence. Encourage her, encourage her imagination, encourage her creativity and courage. Those fantasies. She knows that they’re fantasies, and she knows that her fantasies are outrageous and often unrealistic. What she wants is the dominant man in the fantasy. The one that controls himself, the one that is brave, and courageous and can handle any situation. He’s responsible. He’s safe. He’s strong, honest, right? She wants the man that adores her. One that desires her one that is willing to emotionally connect with her. She wants a man that can create that safe container or space that I frequently talk about. And to those men that think that they can’t compete with the fantasy man. Can you be what I just described as a dominant man in her fantasy? Because that is what she wants. She’s not asking for an aeroplane. Lk is favorite books to read are rooted in vampire dominance and submission. Right? ritualistic blood sucking vampires that do all sorts of extreme BDSM activities. Guess what, guys? They’re all independently wealthy. They seem to all have castles and high rise Penthouse Suites. They ride around in their own private jets. They have yachts. Their bodies are perfectly hard and chiseled. They all seem to be master martial artists. And hell, they can even fly. Not airplanes. But they’re vampires. Right? They can literally fly. I gotta tell you, nowhere inside of me is the need to compete with those handsome, young, strong blood sucking killing machines. Right? It’s the story. The feelings, the emotions, that turn out okay, on. Not all the material things in the book. I’m going to be that dominant man that delves into her fantasies with right. I’m going to talk to her about them. I’m going to find the nuggets of information that I can take and transform into something hot something in our real relationship. Now let’s talk about how to plant a seed to ignite an inferno in your sex life. Right. There are multiple ways to plant a seed in your relationship to ignite this, this inferno. We’ve already discussed the A woman needs more time than a man to become aroused. We have also discussed that women need to feel that they are in a safe place emotionally, in order to relax, right, they need to let their guard down and completely allow themselves to immerse into the moment. Also, that a woman’s arousal is often rooted in fantasy in the feeling that the fantasy can provide her. Don’t fear that fantasy guys, women enjoy sex and appreciate sexy things just like their counterparts. We as masculine men need to prepare an environment right, and plant a seed in order to get her arousal. For a man, the anticipation can begin minutes prior to intercourse right minutes prior to your scene. Yes, sometimes men, we are that simple. But let’s not beat ourselves up over it is just is by design is nature. But with that said, women are more complicated when it comes to sexual arousal, right? Sometimes deep penetrating arousal, it can take days. And often it can require many layers of techniques. So sending one simple suggestive picture, 30 minutes before your scene, or maybe a smack on the asset breakfast, the day of your scene. Well, that’s not going to create any real female arousal. Right? If you genuinely want to get your submissive in the mood for an upcoming scene, you need to kindle her imagination and begin days ahead of time. Right? As a masculine dominant leader, how are you going to get her in the mood? As I mentioned earlier, we need to appeal to her largest organ, her mind. Right? So what does she fantasize about? US downtime to know what her desires are, right? People change people’s moods and their tastes, they change as well. discussing your sexual flavor and downtime should be a regular discussion. An example may be to send your wife or partner a meme, or a GIF that speaks directly to her fantasy or her desire. Right? Too often men send pictures or gifts or whatever, whatever it might be, that they themselves find sexy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just remember, if you’re trying to plant the seed, if you’re trying for her arousal, it may be something that she finds sexy, that actually ignites that flame right. So when cultivating her mindset, you want to be sure to send pictures that she finds arousing. It’s also important to send pictures that will also fit the upcoming scene. So if you’re planning a spanking or an impact scene, for example, send pictures or gifts that incorporate some aspect of what you are going to try to embody into that scene. Right? Don’t just send something you think is sexy, or even as I suggested before, just something that is that she fantasizes about right? Try to make it on point. Be sure when sending a picture or a meme to include a few words are a short sentence, right? Remember, guys, we’re all visual, right? We’re gonna get aroused when we see the sexy picture. But a woman of feminine needs more she needs some kind of cultivation behind the picture. Why are they there? Right? What’s the fantasy? What can she anticipate. So don’t just send the picture and think your job is done right? Send it with a couple of words or a short sentence. And those words they can be dirty, they can be a little dirty. They don’t have to be dirty at all. But there should be something there to generate some fantasy to allow her mind some creativity for anticipation. That’s what we’re trying to. That’s what we’re trying to build is anticipation and arousal. The pictures, the gifts, the words, the sentences. Again, I think I’ve said this already, but they should all be referencing to the upcoming scene. And they should be thought out enough by you to have purpose. Again, the main purpose is to create anticipation and create arousal for your partner.

Mr Fox   29:50

Don’t forget guys. We also need to woo her. Right that fun, sexy flirting stuff that you did with her right when you were dating her, she loved it back then. And guess what, she still loves it today, make this fun, keep this relationship fun, joke around a bit. And let her know that you’re looking forward to the scene, and how much you appreciate her sexual submission. Right? Once the wheels of anticipation are in motion, nothing short of a natural disaster should stand in your way. A significant attribute to the masculine energy is accountability. A masculine leader needs to do what he says he is going to do. And he needs to do it when he says he’s going to do it. Do not ever do not ever take a plan scene or a planned event lightly. Men, we seem to be able to transition in and out of things, right without a lot of thought or a lot of consideration at the last minute, as men, we seem to be able to just justify putting something off to do it another time. And we feel like it’s not a big deal. And to us guys, it may not be a big deal. However, this is precisely the type of behavior that sounds the alarm for the feminine. Right? As we make these changes just on the fly, it undermines and destroys that safe place that women need to feel emotionally safe. We often talk about that safety, right? That safety that the masculine is meant to provide to the feminine. That is a major part of this. In fact, I’m going to say it again because I feel that it is so important and often often misunderstood. Men’s inconsistency is what undermines and destroys the safe place that women need to feel emotionally safe. Right, this holds true when we’re planting a seed as well. So guys, that’s gonna wrap it up today for this episode of hugs Dom and I hope that I’ve planted a seed in your mind on jumping in and leaning forward in a masculine dominant lead role in your relationship. And for those of you listening that are not yet members of Azzam, I hope that you consider becoming a member of our group of dominant men. I would enjoy chatting with you either in our zoom live chats or on our private Discord server.

Mr Fox   32:30

A quick update on l k and i and this update is one of sorrow and grief. Last week l k and I lost a pony in our ponies name was pay pay. Pay pay had been with our family for many years. He used to be a cart pony and we purchased pay pay so my son could learn how to ride horses. There were a lot of great things that I could say about him. But I think for our family pay pay will be remembered as truly being a ladies man. He was always trying to woo the ladies. He was a big part in our family’s lives and he will be sadly missed.