Safewords | The Meaning of Yellow
Safewords are an integral part of BDSM and Dominance and submission. They are one of the basic building blocks of a safe and loving D|s relationship.
Safewords can be anything that you choose. There is no right or wrong in choosing your safeword. You will want to create safewords that are simple yet unique. They should be something that will not come up by chance in a BDSM scene or during any conversation in a scene.
I have seen some Dominants get creative when choosing safewords for their submissives. For myself, I believe that safewords are compelling for the safety of your submissive no matter the experience level of the Dominant or the length of time the Dominant and the submissive have been together.
Due to the critical nature of safewords, I believe that they should not be as creative as they are easy to recall, concise, and direct.
For these reasons, I have kept our safewords as simple and basic as possible.
Safewords – Stoplight
- Red – (Stop) Discontinue play immediately; something is wrong.
- Yellow – (Caution) Slow down or change what you are doing.
- Green – (Go) I’m okay, harder or more.
Kaninchen’s favorite color would be green, green, green, or at least one would think because that is all I usually hear from her.
I have yet to hear red, and I hope I never do.
However, I have heard yellow three times now.
My First Yellow – Overreaction
The first time I heard yellow, I had LK’s arms suspended above her head. We had been playing for quite a while, and she was deep in her sub-space. Our play was beginning to get intense, and instead of slowing down and letting her mind catch up with her body, I increased the intensity. Kaninchen’s body began to behave uncontrollably. Her mind was conflicted between pleasure and pain. At this point, all of the pain had ceased to exist due to the dopamine released in her bloodstream. But we had been on that fine line of pleasure and pain for so long that her senses were overwhelmed, and she couldn’t distinguish the difference between the two. That was actually my goal! She could almost derive pleasure from anything at that point.
Out of nowhere, Kaninchen uttered, “Yellow!”
Now I must admit that my demeanor during time-critical emergency situations is second to none. The more challenging the situation, the calmer I become, almost to a fault.
So what did Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected do?
Stay Calm and Do Not Overreact
I reached up and released the quick-release knots I tied to remove LK from her dilemma and any harm as rapidly as possible. Kaninchen’s flaccid arms came plunging to her hips. Her cuffs still bound her wrists together. She was deep in sub-space, incapacitated, and incoherent. In the blink of an eye, I went from overwhelming her senses in sub-space on the edge of an incredible orgasm to her body literally freefalling from the sky with no warning at all.
I quickly grabbed her up and carried her to the bed. Begging her to tell me what I had done to her. What I had done to derail her pleasure and if I had caused her any harm.
One minute I was master of the universe controlling every aspect of lk’s pleasure with complete competence and control. The next minute I was wide-eyed and scared, trying to get lk to safety.
Stay In Control
This was not my most domly moment.
In hindsight, I believe the reason for my colossal overreaction was that whatever had happened to Kaninchen, my most prized possession, the woman that I love more than anything, happened because of what I had done to her. I was the cause, the one to blame. It was my fault. I knew it, and I owned it.
My panicked overreaction prematurely ended one of our hottest scenes and left LK scared and not understanding what had just happened to her.
The following day when lk was more coherent, we conducted a downtime discussion, and I learned more about the state of confusion and almost fear that my response had on her.
Yellow – Caution
Simple enough… But difficult to do when you are not prepared for it.
The second time Kaninchen said “yellow,” I didn’t completely overreact; however, I did completely stop what I was doing, and once again, because I didn’t just slow down or pivot in another direction, my action ruined the scene. Like the first time, lk wasn’t in any pain or discomfort. Her senses were overwhelmed again, and her mind needed to catch up to her body. The pleasure was overwhelming her!
Yellow – Slow down or stop doing that.
The third time I heard yellow, I finally got it. lk wasn’t asking, wanting, or expecting me to stop. “Yellow” was a caution that I was going too far too fast. She just needed a few seconds for her mind to catch up with where her body was at that moment. For her to realize that the sensations were in fact pleasurable.
This time I didn’t stop! I didn’t ask her if she was alright! And I didn’t ask her what was wrong!
Lk hadn’t gotten to this place, this moment in time, by accident. I have been orchestrating this scene and closely monitoring every single one of her reactions. She was asking me to slow down, not stop. I simply slowed down and backed off the throttle a little. That was it.
I continued to monitor every aspect of her very intently; Her breathing, her sweating, her sounds, her eyes, her everything. A few seconds later, her mind had determined that she was alright and that she could continue. Without speaking a word, I could recognize this realization and continued our scene. This time our scene went to a place, a level we had never been before.
Later, when we discussed the situation during downtime, she was barely aware that it had even taken place. She wasn’t panicking at all; she just needed a second. A second to allow her mind to catch up with her body.
Yellow – Allow my mind to catch up.
If you have never heard your submissive say “yellow,” now is a good time to consider how you will react when she does. What are YOU going to do in this critical situation?
When you hear ‘Yellow,’ remember, don’t stop! She didn’t say red; she said yellow. She didn’t tell you to stop; he has asked you to slow down.
Don’t ask any questions. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do not begin to blame yourself.
And don’t apologize!
Her use of the safeword, Yellow, is just her way of communicating with you. Letting you know where she is at the moment.
You have got her mind and body on the edge. Most likely the edge of something incredibly fantastic. And the edge was likely your goal. Stick to your negotiated plan and take her higher than she has ever been before.
The Meaning of Yellow – Just means Yellow!
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