Pleasing your Dominant During a Scene | Weekly wisDOM

After a light BDSM scene LK, My Lapine and I were taking a hot shower when I began to solicit her perspective regarding our scene. This is a common ritual for us as I feel strongly that to be an effective Dominant I need to know and understand the influence that I am having on my submissive; what her perception was of the scene.

Perception is reality
~Lee Atwater

LK and myself created what we refer to as ‘downtime’ as a method of communication and discovery between a Dominant and a submissive. We were employing downtime as I began to make inquiries as to lk’s most recent experience under my hand.

Initially LK’s mind was inert, reliving the event I believe, “Everything was perfect”, she purred. Of course there was some type of constructive feedback that I could obtain. I began asking her about certain events that took place during the scene. The questions were not intrusive or presumptuous, I was trying to formulate a clear picture in my mind as if I had a good read on her body as well as her mindset during our play. 

After answering several of my questions and follow up questions lk was confirming that my instincts were correct during our scene when I was reading her mindset as well as her body. Our conversation continued as I was searching for something that would further develop my skills as a Dominant. Then Lapine said something that was crucial…

“Do you remember during our scene when I was about to yellow and you sensed it? You did ‘abc’, which was alright, but if you would have done ‘xyz’ it would have made our scene even more intense!”

Jackpot!

This was more than I could have hoped for… Little Kaninchen’s insight and perspective on a very specific act…

Lapine is blindfold flat on her back laying in our bed. She is bound in a chest harness with both of her upper arms secured tightly to her torso. At mid-waist she is wrapped with rope securing herright arm firmly to her stomach which placed her hand just above her pussy. The rope bondage binding her right arm only allows movement of her wrist.

Her ankles adorned ankle cuffs that were attached to an adjustable spreader bar that was positioned to a wider stance. Her legs were bent at the knees leaving her exposed and vulnerable.

I then placed the wand in lk’s right hand along with a firm reminder that she is not allowed to cum without my permission. This reminder was done with a series of questions instead of a command.  By using questions I believe that it brings LK’s mind into our scene and makes her more actively involved. I also assured lk that she would be ‘begging’ for release soon and it would not be as easy as simply asking for it today, she would have to earn it.

Without Lapine realizing it I stepped away and retrieved a pair of rotary nipple suction cups to place on her nipples. Upon my return I began caressing and nibbling on her neck and breasts. Using my lips, tongue and teeth I was unsuspectingly preparing her nipples for the rotary nipple suction cups. As I place the suction cup on her right nipple and began to apply suction she let out a slight moan. I sensed that it was partially a moan of surprise as well as a moan to the new sensation of pain. After securing the left suction cup to her other nipple I began tracing her body with a riding crop. As I continued tracing her body I began offering soft light flicks of the crop with my exploration. I could sense from her body language along with her continued moans that my Lapine was in more discomfort than I had originally intended.

Since becoming Kaninchen’s Dominant I have grown more acutely aware of lk’s body and her reaction to the many senses that she experiences during our scenes. My observations and instincts revealed to me that my Lapine was escalating toward using one of her safewords, “yellow”.

I surmised that the nipple suction cups must have been too tight.

With Lapine still in control of the wand I instructed her to open her mouth and I deliberately placed the shaft of the crop between her teeth and instructed her to bite down on the shaft of the crop and hold it in her mouth for me.

I then focused my attention on the rotary suction cups. Without much effort I could discern that the suction cups were indeed rather tight and most likely inflicting more pain than initially intended. The suction cup on her right breast looked as though it was the culprit. I began to slowly twist the rotary knob counter clockwise relieving some of the pressure. As the pressure began to subside the suction cup came completely loose separating from her nipple. Without hesitation I leaned forward and began to offer her nipple more attention with my mouth. She then let our another moan… A moan more of ecstasy…

This was the precise moment that Little Kaninchen was referring to in our downtime discussion regarding our D/s scene.

“Do you remember during our scene when I was about to yellow and you sensed it? You removed the rotary suction cup from my nipple to relieve the pain, which was alright, but if you would have told me that you were going to remove the suction cup after counting down from 10, making me endure the pain for that period of time, it would have made me feel more successful in my submission.

Submissives want to please… By counting down from a number I would have given lk a goal, an objective to accomplish. LK’s motivation as a submissive would have been to meet this objective to satisfy her Dominant’s desires. LK could accomplish almost any task if she felt that by doing so she was going to please me.

Without such an objective lk has no opportunity to please me. By simply ‘removing’ the rotary suction cup I have also removed any opportunity to allow lk to please me.

If I could go back in time and rewrite the story…

I then focused my attention on the rotary suction cups. Without much effort I could discern that the suction cups were indeed rather tight and most likely inflicting more pain than initially intended. The suction cup on her right breast looked as though it was the culprit.

“Is this suction cup a little too tight for your liking Lapine?”

“Yes Sir”

As I begin to flick the suction cup with my fingers lk lets out another gasp.

“Hold still Lapine.” Flicking the suction cup again, “I am going to count down from 10 before removing this suction cup from your breast. I want you to edge yourself with the wand but you are not allowed to cum. Do you understand Lapine?”

“Yes Sir”

This simple action would have given lk an opportunity to demonstrate how she could please me by enduring the pain, without yellowing, until I was prepared to allow her relief. This would feed her as a submissive.

This action is exactly what feeds me as a Dominant as well. The control that I have over my submissive and even more so the ability for lk to withstand the intensity of the suction cup to just please me.

I can not rewrite history in this particular situation, but I have discovered through downtime with my Lapine, how to improve my skills as a Dominant which will enhance our future D/s scenes.

Exchanges of power are not limited to just the bedroom. Listen and acknowledge your submissive’s thoughts and feelings. This skill will deepen your D/s and aid in forming a stronger bond between you.

Pleasing Your Dominant During a Scene

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