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Dominant Husbands

~Man Up or DOM up~

 

I receive many emails at MrFox@husDom.com asking me for advice. A common statement from many submissive’s is “man up”‘ paraphrased of course.

While in the beginning it is imperative that the submissive nurture her Dominant husband into his dominant role it is equally important that the husband man up or DOM up. As husbands we have become reluctant to put ourselves out there, really out there, especially with our wives. Most likely because in the past, our vanilla past, we have felt emasculated during arguments or disagreements. It’s amazing how in the heat of an argument we will say things to hurt the ones that we love the most. We all know the buttons to push. Usually, these statements are to knock the other person down a notch allowing us dominance or stature above the other person. It’s about positioning.  It’s about Dominance!

 

Your submissive has already come to you and asked for your dominance. Imagine the courage that it took for her to do that. She in essence is asking you to DOM up.

I am still in awe of LK’s courage to reveal her true desire to me. Whenever I began to have doubt or would experience trepidation regarding leaving myself vulnerable to LK I would bear in mind what my Little Kaninchen has already done and how vulnerable she has positioned herself without knowing what my reaction would be to her revelation. As a HusDom you should already know that she not only will accept your dominance she craves it.

So, “man up” or “DOM Up” ! DOMFIXINGCUFFSSSPIOPT1063,Dominant Husbands | Man Up Meaning DOM Up | HusDOM.com

Let your guard down. A D/s married relationship is much different than a regular single Domination and submission dynamic and even more dissimilar to a vanilla marriage. You no longer need to engage in skirmishes for dominance, a struggle for power. Yes, you will make mistakes. Yes, she will accidentally say something vanilla to challenge you or unintentionally damage your male ego. Relax, you both want the same thing and have the same goal. Keep your eye on the prize. You will find that the communication between the two of you will become more enhanced than you could have ever imagined.

HusDom, Mr. Fox

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Responses

  1. This has hit the nail on the head for us. It is the answer to our ebb and flow problem. Thank you.

  2. Thank you for this timely reminder – it prompted me to send a quick thank you note recognizing lb’s courage in her vulnerability to submit… I feel this is something worth recognizing often.

    Question – how does this apply when the start to the dynamic has come the other way when the Dom has asked for this dynamic?
    Yes, the sub has agreed and even accepted the Doms collar and expressed their desire to please and submit (however) due to it being the Doms desire vs the subMrs initiative then there appears to be more resistance.
    I understand the concept that because Lb has given her ‘consent’ which means that she not.only wants my dominance but craves it but when she says ‘no’ this is about consent and after a few no’s because of my respect (or is it niceness) I then stop asserting.

    Ps… Reading the post again there is a statement you make which stands out ‘we both want the same things and have the same goals’ me thinks I need to go back to the start with this.

    1. I often see questions about when the Dominant brings the relationship to the submissive vs the other way around. In the beginning of the dynamic, the first few days and possibly weeks, there may be a subtle difference. Having the courage to surface this topic with your wife has my respect for sure. I am not sure I would have had the same courage. However, don’t fool yourself but coming up with excuses why your situation may be more difficult than someone else’s. I imagine that almost every Dominant reading this comment has experienced perceived pushback or resistance or ‘no’s’ along their journey as well, no matter which partner brought up the dynamic. And the answer for each one of them is the same.

      Think about it. Did you ask your lb on your first date, marriage proposal, or did she ask you? And what bearing on the relationship does that hold now?

      What I would want to know is, Why is she saying no?

      If she says no often possibly your idea of submission and her idea of submission may be a little different. No matter the reason, it boils down to communication. When she says ‘no’ you need to ask her why? What is it about your request that she doesn’t want to comply with? Keep asking questions and paraphrasing it back to her until you get a clear picture of her point of view. Often times it may just be as simple as one’s perception or what they hear vs what you are actually saying. Once you understand her position you will be able to counter it with a solution.

      For myself, I need lk’s ‘buy-in’. I don’t mean this in a manipulative way. I need lk to genuinely want to please me. It’s not about lk’s consent to me. I am not asking for her consent really. I want her genuine desire. In order to obtain this, I need to know what she wants from the relationship and from me as her Dominant, as well as what she doesn’t want.

      It’s not even respect or niceness when most Dominants shut down. It is usually not having the tools to know how to move forward with the situation or perceived conflict. It is easy to say nothing in return when confronted with resistance. It is emasculating and many men remain in their own minds and remain silent for whatever reason. Guys can call it whatever they want. It isn’t about being confrontational either. It isn’t that you need to not be nice or respectful.

      Everyone will appreciate it when you have an honest desire to understand their position and their perspective. Develop the tools of communication and have the courage to begin the conversation.

      That is what being a great leader or a Dominant is to me…

      Best wishes

      Mr Fox

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