How Fifty Shades of Grey Saved My Marriage | SimplySxy Magazine

A few months back an editor from an online magazine approached me about writing a short article for his magazine, SimplySxy.  I was flattered beyond measure.

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After researching the magazine I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was a well run,  professional publication that I would endorse.  This humbled me even more…

The whole article can be read at; How FSOG Saved My Marriage | SimplySxy

I have published the article here but I would respectfully request that we all ‘Pay It Forward’ by clicking on the link and reading it on it’s original publication platform.

I would also humbly request that everyone take a minute to comment on the article within the SimplySxy magazine.  Maybe I will be invited back to write again…

Best wishes,

Mr Fox

How Fifty Shades of Grey Saved My Marriage 

SimplySxy Magazine

 

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It was a beautiful hot summer day and my wife and I were driving to a local wine festival in our community. There was nothing particularly special about this day except for my wife’s willingness to visit the wine festival due to her not having a fondness for the taste of wine.

Little Kaninchen and myself blend right into the crowd at events such as this. We are both in our early 40’s, athletic and both of us are successful professionals. Our children were just beginning to become mature enough that we could venture out without them in tow, just the two of us again. We hadn’t been on a date in ages, maybe even since pre-children, as sad as that truth may be.

As we strolled from one winery to the next, tasting almost every wine imaginable, we began to relax from the everyday pressures of life in general. About halfway through the event, we steered for a large cluster of Clumped Birch trees that were running along the center edge of the festival. The trees were offering some desperately needed shade from the scorching summer sun.

We laid on our backs in the cool shade cast below the Birch Trees, eating and drinking and laughing for almost an hour. It was the best time that I can remember having with my wife in years.

And then suddenly out of nowhere my wife said that she was no longer happy in our marriage.

LK and I have always been that ‘perfect couple’… I am sure that you have met others like ourselves, high school sweethearts that have been together since we were 15 years old and married at the tender age of only 18 years old. We were supposed to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary that year.

For once I was completely speechless. I had thought that we had a wonderful marriage or at least a typical loving marriage.

LK went on to explain that she had read a book and that the book had really spoken to her. She went on to confess that this book has given her the courage to be honest with me but even more importantly, that it has given her the courage to be honest with herself in regards to her true desires and the life that she wants to live.

Again, speechless… I was certain that she had already planned, in great detail, her departure from our marriage without even allowing me a single opportunity to make things right.

My normally well calculated thoughts were now in disarray and confused. Before I could even utter a word, LK went on to say that her repressed desires were to submit to me sexually. If I was in a state of confusion at the onset of this conversation I was completely disoriented now and was almost positive that she didn’t know what she was saying to me.

I believe that quite possibly for the first time in our entire relationship LK had the floor, she was doing all of the talking with literally no response from myself.

It would be revealed during this conversation that the book that encouraged my LK to confront her true desire of submission was none other than the popular Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. While reading FSOG she began to discover the many similarities between the main characters and herself.

Little Kaninchen had spent most of her life trying to be what society would consider ‘a good girl’, which has an entire different meaning to us today.

The FSOG trilogy was not a how-to guide for a BDSM relationship but it did allow her to be introduced to a non-judgmental world within the confines of it’s pages.

My wife was drowning in our vanilla relationship that had become stagnant for many reasons over the years, all of which I will personally take responsibility for. Fifty Shades of Grey encouraged my wife to realize that she could confront the societal pressures and prejudice placed on what a loving relationship is supposed to look like. And more importantly what a ‘good wife’ is supposed to be.

Mr. Fox

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Responses

  1. Fifty shades is the book that peaked my dolce’s desire to explore a D/s relationship. When the movie was released we began our journey. It has been exhilarating so far.

  2. Well articulated, succinct and shows people that there are other forms of life style available, if they are willing to try.
    Well done, Mr Fox. Well Done.

  3. The book was horribly written. It got repetitive thru the 2nd and 3rd and then sort of went flat at the end. BUT. I cannot state enough how it opened up many, many multifaceted discussions and ‘pursuits’ between me and mine. I have also found it interesting to observe the reactions of those I know as well as those I see on tv or Facebook. Their sometimes ignorant reactions to it when at times they have NOT EVEN READ it are amazing. It gives away more of an insight into how open or better yet closed off and uptight their personal/sexual relationships are. I don’t think those who criticize it realize what they are revealing about themselves and sex, or lack thereof. These women who rant and get angry at the ‘treatment of females”… I definitely do not envy their spouses/boyfriends. Gotta suck for them, that’s all I can say.

  4. My wife read the book (50sog) and I learned through her that this was actually a remake from a twilight fanfiction, from an online aquantance of hers (she, herself, fancies writing as a hobby and finds comfort in an already established platform).
    The book is laughable…it was obvious that the author didn’t edit or didnt have someone edit her work. Even the knowledge of BDSM was at times…questionable.
    That aside, the author brought a spotlight to an obscure corner of society, leading to questions needing answers…peaking curiosity. My wife’s and my own included. I thank E L James for that. Also, your blog, as the view from an insiders perspective is a magnificent guidance tool. Thank you.

  5. It’s hard not falling into that “typical loving marriage” scenario. We get so busy living our lives defining who we are as individuals that it seems as though we either forget or are too tired to focus on each other. Even when we go out for date nights, which is far and few between, by the time we finish a glass or two of wine and the meal I’m exhausted and detached. Not intentionally detached but more or less tired mentally from the responsibilities of everyday life.

    1. Max321,

      Your description regarding ‘too tired to focus on each other’ and ‘unintentional detachment’ are perfect. That is exactly what happens to so many happily married couples, life…

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

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