The Dominant Gentleman | D/s Married Couple

The Dominant Gentleman...

The Dominant Gentleman…

A Loving Dominant is always a Gentleman.

Being a Dominant has nothing in common with being domineering, in fact one is a contradiction of the other.  A respectful dominant does not rule arbitrary, based on choice or that of a personal whim.  A Dominant does not posses an unbridled supremacy or limitless power. The Dominant gentleman posses only the power in which his submissive has granted to him and she should have to authority to revoke this power at anytime for any reason.CHAIRSUBDOMSSPIOPT855,The Dominant Gentleman... A Loving Dominant is always a Gentleman.

The Dominant gentleman is a chivalrous, sensitive, honorable, well mannered man. It’s not about what he can get…It’s about what he can give.


A Dominant does not take pleasure in hurting anyone, submissive or otherwise.

In a BDSM lifestyle inflicting pain is at odds with actually ‘hurting’ someone.  In this instance ‘hurting’ or ‘injuring’ someone is to inflict injury that is a distress or a detriment to the other person.  It is quite common in the BDSM lifestyle to inflict or to administer pain to your partner or submissive. You give Pleasure with the pain….


A  Dominant will not cause their submissive any harm.

It is the responsibility of the Dominant to always be watchful and cognizant of their submissive’s well being and to ensue that their submissive’s best interests are placed above their own.


A Submissive wants to be dominated not injured or hurt.

A  submissive who enjoys masochism may enjoy the pain but would not necessarily enjoy being hurt or sustaining bodily injury.


Dominating a submissive or sexually Dominating a submissive is against my husband’s true nature.

I would suggest that this may, in fact, be nature at it’s best.  Instincts and predispositions of the human species at large.


Dominance and submission is Primal!

As you begin your own personal journey into the D/s lifestyle do not become paralyzed by your own prejudice or preconceived notions of what D/s or even BDSM is really about.  Each journey into the world of Dominance and submission is unique and will be extremely personal and intimate to every couple that decides to embark on such an endeavor.The Dominant Gentleman... A Loving Dominant is always a Gentleman.

If I were to be another submissive’s Dominant we would have a different journey than the journey that lk and I are on right now.  I would be a different Dominant as well with slightly different characteristics and traits.  Our journey is very unique to us and what we desire it to be.  There would be no recreating our particular D/s dynamic with any other partner.


A Dominant or a Gentleman may place his hand on the small of his submissive’s back to guide her as she walks or enters through a doorway.

A Dominant or a Gentleman may place his fingers or hand on the side of his submissive’s cheek or chin as he looks deeply into her eyes before he kisses her passionately.

There are many archetypes that could be used to illustrate the actions of a Dominant or a gentleman but I don’t want to overshadow the actual lesson. The actual acts of Dominance and Submission vary from couple to couple. There are people practicing many different D/s behaviors. Choose the behaviors that are comfortable to you and your partner and begin there. I continually refer to my “journey”, because it is in fact a journey. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide that today I was a Dominant. It began with the most simple gestures and has continued to grow each and every day. I’m sure that five years from now I will look back at this past year and consider it just the beginning for me, a true infancy.


The Dominant Gentleman

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  1. 🙂 I think I recognize a few of these quotes… You are clearly way more evolved in this process than my DH. The fact that you like and enjoy this really is so beyond what I feel my DH would ever say… But thanks for the encourgement!

  2. before i realized this was a way of life, i used these same methods as guidance. without knowing it I was her dominate, but once i know there was a name for it and it was a way of life, i was confused and left struggling. thank you for putting this in words.

  3. Mr Fox…. thank you for a great post and a great beginning to this lifestyle. I have done a lot of these things naturally, but never realized the little gestures were also part of a d/s relationship… was scared of being dominant, but from these blogs and conversations with this group, I get more and more confident that THIS is the path… this is or the lack of this in my life has been undermining my sense of self and self confidence for years. I had erroneously believe the gentlemanly ways were incompatible with my view of BDSM or D/s relationships… thought there was no partnership of “equals” in that. I am hoping it is not too late with my wonderful sub wife. I always knew she was the one for me… just did not know it was this way.

    1. LawdogDom,

      “this is or the lack of this in my life has been undermining my sense of self and self confidence for years”

      This statement is true to the core for many of us.

      Best wishes,

      Mr Fox

  4. Looking at the dates above, appears I may be late to the party.
    Nonetheless….as I start to further submerge into this type of relationship with an effort to hone the art , I have been talking with a number of submissive women that have previously or currently had a D/s relationship. These women provide excellent insight into D/s. During these conversations, the overwhelming majority if not all of them start to look at me funny and start to think I can’t be a real Dom. As I share my perspective, shaped from this website and a few others on the responsibilities and roles, they tell me that is not what a Dom says, does or thinks. That perhaps I am actually a submissive based on my words. They tell me a true Dom does not think of their subs as an equal, does not treat them as equals and never talks to them as equals.
    After a while i stop sharing my thoughts or disagreeing and simply listen to them to better understand their point of view. Refraining from passing judgement I try to sustain from feeling sorry of these women that are treated poorly.

    Has anyone else ran into this situation and what should I be doing differently?


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