Dominant Confidence | A Dominant’s Apology | Dominant and submissive Scene

BDSM D/s Scene

Dominant and submissive Scene

Dominant Confidence | A Dominant’s Apology | Dominant and submissive Scene

A husband’s journey from husband to Dominant.

Little Kaninchen is completely naked with her wrists cuffed and clipped together. A rope is attached to the clip and running through a Shibari ring fastened well above her head. As I pull the rope through the ring I strike lk in the face beside her right eye, with the tail of the rope I am using to bind her during our D/s scene. I immediately feel dreadful because of my carelessness. I rub her cheek and say, “I’m sorry, are you alright?” She doesn’t respond but I can see that I have not caused her any actual harm. I continue and finish what I was doing and, unimaginably, I do it again. The rope hits her right in the same exact place on her face. Without hesitation I apologize again. “I’m so sorry honey, I promise I will be more careful.”

This was the scenario during our last BDSM scene. Everything was going just fine until my carelessness really disrupted our D/s roles. More accurately, I departed from my role as a loving Dominant; LK was already well into our D/s scene and was unfazed by my actions.

Every time after one of our D/s scene’s I ask LK what she liked about the scene as well as what she didn’t like about it. We consider this time of discovery as part of our downtime.  Honestly, her criticism is what I am searching for. Maybe I ask about what she enjoyed the most in regards to our D/s scene just to stroke my ego. After all, I was there, I could tell when her body was quivering uncontrollably or when she couldn’t even utter out a coherent word. It’s the what could have been better part that I need to know to continue to grow as a loving Dominant, it is crucial to my development.Dominant Confidence | A Dominant's Apology | Dominant and submissive Scene

Set your ego aside before asking your submissive such a question because it will get bruised just a bit. Your submissive is not trying to hurt you and she certainly isn’t complaining, remember you asked. Man up! Your submissive is only following orders from her Dominant.

After this particular D/s scene, when I asked LK for her feed back during our downtime, she said, “What was with the apology?” This incident had happened in the beginning of our BDSM scene regarding the rope striking her face. I honestly had to think hard about what she was referring to. Then it came to me, all of it.

LK wasn’t physically or psychologically injured by any stretch of the imagination. She was deep into the experience and what was happening to her at the moment of my carelessness during our D/s scene. My submissive hardly recognized the fact that I had done anything wrong at all, not just once but twice. It was absolutely nothing to her.

My apology was all about me.

When the incident tool place I could discernibly see that my  submissive was unaffected by the rope. I recognized MY mistake and wanted her to know that it was accidental, that I recognized that I had made the mistake and that I would be more careful in the future.  Again, it was all about me…

Reflecting on what happened during our D/s scene, I realize that my actions, while a mistake, required no apology to my submissive. I could clearly see that I had caused my little kaninchen no harm at all. She was uninjured and definitely wanted to continue with our D/s scene. Breaking the scene that moment by apologizing was an even bigger mistake.

Next time I will simply stop what I am doing for a second, look her in the eyes, gently touch her cheek to acknowledge what has happened and continued the scene; no words spoken.

 

Dominant Confidence | A Dominant’s Apology | Dominant and submissive Scene

BDSM Scene, Married Domination and submission

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Responses

  1. I love that the two of you critique every scene and go over it. It speaks volumes for the two of you that you do that and can be that open. I’m like you in that I want to learn and grow. We need that feedback, both positive and negative, to be able to see what worked and what didn’t. We can take that information and use it going forward to become better. It’s not about hurting feelings or being upset. It’s being open and honest to make things better for you both. I love that!

    DV

  2. Thanks DV,

    LK and I were talking the other night and I was telling her how the complete open honesty, that we now share, is what I cherish the most. We have been married for many years and never have we communicated so well.

    2bDom

    1. My Dea and I have been married for 23 years, we are just starting our journey in D/s-M, about a month and a half in, and I can honestly say I have learned more about her in this short time then I did in our entire marriage. I love the open and honest communication that is paramount in this lifestyle.

      1. Mr K sir,

        I really enjoy learning about others in the lifestyle and how it effects their relationship as well. I have been right where you are at and understand exactly what you are talking about and how it feels.

        Congratulations on your new journey.

        Best wishes,

        Mr Fox

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