Badges of Honor
“He’s made a few meager attempts to spank me… never very hard, never painful, never truly dominant.”
“I’m not sure how to help him past the “I don’t want to hurt you” mindset.”
“he doesn’t want to hurt anyone” ~ Anonymous submissive
It is a formidable thought for a vanilla husband to envision himself physically dominating his wife. My LK is the most precious person in my life, I absolutely adore her. To contemplate hurting her or causing her any physical or emotional pain would be unimaginable.
To Physically Dominate your submissive does not mean abusing her by far…it doesn’t mean hurting her at all… Think about what does this mean to you…… Ask her what does that mean to her. Discuss what you dominating her means to both of you.
My first couple attempts at spanking LK were most likely,
“never very hard, never painful, never truly dominant”
After administering a spanking Little Kaninchen would reassure me by telling me things such as…
How great it felt to get spanked.
How a aroused she was receiving her spanking.
How she could “take so much more”.
My LK’s skin has always bruised very easily in the past. The first real spanking that I administered to her bottom left some light bruising under the surface of her skin. When I saw it for the first time I nearly felt sick to my stomach. Sick that I could have caused such trauma to this woman that I adore so much. She was standing in front of our dressing mirror examining her bottom. I urgently wanted to apologize to her. To let her know that I would never do anything like that to her again. To assure her that I was not a monster.
Badge of Honor
As my eyes lifted from her bruised bottom to her face I couldn’t believe what I saw; Little Kaninchen’s face was beaming with pride. She loved the marks on her bottom. She called the small marks her “Badges of Honor”. With the war I just battled within me, that comment fit so perfectly.
There is an entire science behind why the pain is transformed into pleasure and that’s not what this particular post is about. It is most intimidating to consider causing this precious woman any harm. As a husDOM™ you need to realize that you are not hurting her. She is submitting to you and letting go and flying free. If you do hurt her you will know it immediately. You wouldn’t need to ask. Her reaction won’t be a whimper, a moan or a grimace, she will be in pain, real pain. Pain like shutting her hand in a door kind of pain. Anything short of that rely on your simple safe words and trust her to communicate if she is no longer enjoying the scene. You have created a system, trust the system that you created.
HusDom, Mr. Fox