Alcohol Drugs BDSM Lifestyle | Weekly wisDOM

This should go without saying but I believe that it is worth addressing as a refresher to everyone.

Alcohol and drugs have no place in a D/s lifestyle.  

Just as we all know that we should not drink and operate a motor vehicle plenty of people among us still do.  Often times we feel as though we have only had a drink or two and that we are fine, still in control.  This is exactly what alcohol does, and to be quite honest, the reason that so many of us like to partake in it; alcohol reduces anxiety.  This very anxiety is also the root of some of our natural instincts that keep us out of trouble by giving us that sixth sense or intuition.  No matter your size, physical condition or your prior conditioning to alcohol consumption or drug usage you will be impaired by just one drink.DOMANDSUBINBEDROOMSSPIOPT989

I am not advocating for a minute that you choose to abstain from making another toast with your friends or loved ones because you are in a D/s relationship.  I am suggesting that there will be certain activities that you may want to avoid while you have been drinking.  You shouldn’t have to consider selling your car because you are going to have a few drinks this weekend, just do not elect to drive it.  The same type of consideration should be given to your D/s relationship.  No one would suggest that you forfeit your Dominance and submission relationship or abstain from having sex after you decide to have a drink.

Little Kaninchen and I schedule our scenes days if not weeks ahead of time  allowing me to carefully attend to every detail.  We will not even have a single drink prior to a scene!  We will occasionally have sex after a few drinks but never a scene.  I refer to our sex that is not a scene as vanilla with a twist.; there is simply nothing vanilla about us or our sex any longer.

Another consideration in a D/s relationship is drinking and punishments.  I will not punish LK while I have been drinking or while I am angry, not after just one drink.  If there is an infraction that at the time I feel would justify a punishment I will acknowledge it and we will discuss it the following day.  There are studies that link alcohol use to outward displays of anger or aggression especially in people that are already prone to aggressive behavior.

Alcohol and drugs will effect a submissive during play in several negative ways.  

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The following is not meant to be a conclusive list but rather a quick illustration regarding some of the more prevalent effects of alcohol and drug use during BDSM play.

  • Poor Communication – Effective Communication is a pillar of a strong D/s foundation.  While under the influence of drugs or alcohol there is a much greater opportunity for miscommunication and misunderstandings especially if one is already influenced by outside vanilla influences.  It only takes a few words to significantly damage the trust in a newly formed D/s-M relationship.
  • Reduces Anxiety – During a scene the Dominant may be trying to effect the submissive by inducing a flood of endorphin’s into the blood stream in order to get the submissive into subspace.  If the submissive’s natural fight or flight mindset is altered due to alcohol she may not be able to reach subspace and the Dominant may increase the amount of stimulation trying to drive the submissive to the desired state causing injury.
  • Loss of control.
  • Increased Tolerance to Pain – The submissive may not recognize when real damage is being inflicted upon her body.
  • Unintended Consequences – Loss of judgment allowing the submissive to do something that she would not normally allow or do.

Alcohol and drugs will effect a Dominant during play in several negative ways.  

  • Poor Communication – Effective Communication is a pillar of a strong D/s foundation.  While under the influence of drugs or alcohol there is a much greater opportunity for miscommunication and misunderstandings especially if one is already influenced by outside vanilla influences.  It only takes a few words to significantly damage the trust in a newly formed D/s-M relationship.
  • Reduces Anxiety – During a scene the Dominant may be trying to affect the submissive by inducing a flood of endorphin’s into the blood stream in order to get the submissive into subspace.  If the submissive’s natural fight or flight mindset is altered due to alcohol she may not be able to reach subspace and the Dominant may increase the amount of stimulation trying to drive the submissive to the desired state causing injury.
  • Loss of Control –
  • Increased Tolerance of Pain – The Dominant may increase the normal level of impact trying to achieve the same results that he may normally get with a lesser impact when alcohol is not involved.
  • Unintended Consequences – Loss of judgment allowing the Dominant to do something that he would not normally allow or do.
  • Strength – A Dominant my not realize his own strength or the actual intensity level in which he is operating.  This will be compounded with the submissive being impaired and not exhibiting her normal reaction to the level of intensity being inflicted on her.
  • Judgement – Judgement is all inclusive with every decision, activity and action that you make during a scene.    The ability to recognize bad situations as they develop.   The ability to recognize submissive’s pleasure vs pain is greatly reduced.  The ability to recognize when the submissive’s restraints are too tight inhibiting proper circulation.  These are only a few examples of the many things that could be effected by poor judgement, again it is all inclusive in everything that you do.
  • May push too far by not recognizing the submissive’s true physical or psychological state of mind.  The submissive’s common subtle reactions, moans, sweat etc..  will be influenced by her reaction to the drugs or alcohol.
  • Judgement – You may begin to believe that you know better than your submissive by trying to push her limits to new heights.
  • You may become focused on yourself or your own actions, goals or gratification and become completely unaware of your submissive’s physical or psychological state.
  • Reduced Effective Decision Making Skills –

You may feel as though you are in complete control but your ability to control yourself or your submissive is greatly diminished.  If you were thinking that alcohol will eliminate or reduce the awkward feeling that you experience prior to a scene it very well may but at an unsafe and substantial price.

Be a responsible Dominant and do not use or allow your submissive to use any drugs or alcohol prior to scenes/play!

 

Alcohol Drugs BDSM Lifestyle

 

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