- Memberat 9:21 amPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
Obviously I’m the new kid on the block. So, I figured it’s time to make my introduction. I’ve already had some interactions in the group chats and read through many posts and blogs and podcasts. This seems like it will be a place for me. I have a lot of improving to do and confidence to build but I am ready.
Here is the synopsis of my relationship.
My wife and I, together since high school, married after college. We are 35. We currently have 3 children, age 9, 4 and 3 months. For our entire relationship, much like most in today’s society, we have played the power struggle game. I couldn’t figure out how to be assertive and not be an asshole because I was fighting uphill (and I was also an asshole sometimes). She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t fulfilled with a caring husband and a picket fence life. We didn’t know that caring wasn’t enough.
Its only been a few weeks now since she turned our world upside down. She has watched 50 shades a year ago or something and to her credit asked for some dominance in the bedroom in the past. I didn’t understand, truly understand, what she was looking for back then. I thought she wanted me to play act like a dominant character and be a little rough and then drop the act and return to normal life. She didn’t know either that she wanted more.
I finally listened. I don’t know what happened but after being extremely dominant (comparative to my past anyway) she was shaken. I mean, I did something to her that made no sense to me at the time. She was weak in the knees around me. I saw the first submissive look in her eyes as she said. “What would you like me to do, Sir?” (outside the bedroom mind you) and my head about fucking exploded. It clicked. my little universe made sense for once.
We played our roles for a couple of days, faking it till we made it. Me falling on my face a few times and her giving me everything. She has now decided that she trusts me with her entire life. She is the most amazing woman I will ever meet. To love and trust me so deeply, so completely that she would give me anything I ask of her. Do anything I tell her to. Say anything I requested. It’s the most intoxicating and humbling moment of my life.
She has asked for total control. Granted me consensual nonconsent. I didn’t approach this topic at all. She did. I don’t want a slave. I don’t want a robot human to have sex with. This is not our understanding. She is my universe. My whole reality.
She needs me she says. To make her what she can be. She is motivated to do anything I say so therefore all of things that she wanted to be in her life that she struggles with now will no longer be her concerns. They are mine. They are my burden. My job to pay attention to and my job to fix what is broken.
Our sex life has hit another realm and doesn’t look like it’s showing any signs of slowing down. I am not naive though and I understand the honeymoon period and the frenzy. So it’s my job to be prepared for what’s coming.
We have never done serious BDSM, which is why I debated joining this group of men, but we do domination in the bedroom obviously and restraint play and spanking and similar things. Looking to the future, when we can fit the heavier stuff into our life as children grow and become less needy, we will. I will.
I don’t know if I’m missing anything here but I’m sure you will find out more about me as time goes by. I plan on getting to know everyone here and I hope to learn so much from all those that have come before.
I thank each one of you for taking regular care of this community and recognize your consistent contribution. I thank Mr. Fox for providing a den to gather and meet real men.
- Memberat 10:51 amPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
Buddy, that was one of the most well written intros I’ve ever seen. So first, Bravo for the English lesson. Lol.
Secondly, welcome. It is extremely refreshing to see such a self-aware attitude from someone just starting out. This is work. First and foremost, you will have to shoulder a whole load to make this right. You acknowledging that is a huge step.
Doing it right will take time, patience, and more communication than you thought possible.
I always thought that our communication was excellent in our marriage Early on in our marriage I would have rated it a 8/10 or better. Looking back now I can see just how ignorant I was
In the last 2+years since we went to 24/7, our communication has blossomed to a level I truly couldn’t imagine back then Fully open and honest, with never an assumption or question unasked, or opinion unshared. And the onus is on you to ensure that you continue to build on it every day. I see us as a 10/10 right now in that department, though I am confident that in 2 more years I’ll look back and laugh at that assessment too, just because of how much farther we will go together… though I can’t imagine now that it’s possible, I’ve also proved myself wrong there already, to my great pleasure.
I also have 3 similarly aged children (9-7-5) and know the struggles they bring to just normal life, let alone D/s. You’re not alone sir, and if you have anything specific that comes up, feel free to ask. Many of us are dads and moms here.
Feel free to browse and chat. Come to some of the video chats and say hi, even if that’s your complete involvement, and just listen. Having gentlemen and ladies here who may be, or have been struggling through the same issues as yourself, is a huge resource. But it’s wasted if you’re not involved.
I hope to see you in the chat more, and look forward to hearing about you growing, learning, building confidence in yourself, and loving that amazing wife of yours, more than you thought you possibly could.
- Memberat 9:54 pmPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
I can already see the importance of communication as assumptions and unspoken expectations nip at the dynamic a little everyday in these early times. I appreciate you reinforcing the need for communication. I also appreciate your praise over my grammar haha. I am glad to have found a place will fellow Dad’s and husbands and Dominants.
- Memberat 3:54 pmPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
I look forward to getting to know you. There are many similarities in your story as to ours. Enjoys these first few months as there are so many new and exciting things, and what is great is that even after the honeymoon phase, D/s-M has opened a world of intimacy in and out the bedroom we could not have imaged 3 years ago.
- Memberat 9:57 pmPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
Thanks for chiming in. I am excited to see where we are when we reach a milestone like yours. 3 years. I can visualize the possibilities that this opens up within our marriage beyond the honeymoon phase. I hope our intimacy only grows. Thanks again.
- Memberat 7:36 pmPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
FreeDom, Great introduction. Welcome aboard. I hope like pink and myself that your D/s continues to feed you and your wife in a way that the two of you grow closer as a couple. Enjoy the ride. We all have those ups and downs but what relationship doesn’t. Again welcome. I look forward to interacting with you on this site.
- Memberat 9:59 pmPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
Thank you, Master Gardener. Glad to be here. I hope the same. What a ride this is going to be!
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