So, is there a place here that defines, hopefully in some detail, terminology? What exactly is subspace, downtime and others? I am trying to distill the meanings from the discussions where they are used but is there a glossary somewhere? Ha!
Subspace. Each person would define it slightly differently. However for myself, I would define my Little Peachs subspace as a time when she is completely Mentally relaxed, and in a decreased state of awareness. She is usually physically overwhelmed with stimulus, and her mind starts to shut down unnecessary parts to process everything that is going on. For my Little Peach this generally happens when she is very aroused, restrained, and some other stimulus is also happening. I find that once I go past the limit of 3 stimuli that she tumbles pretty quick into subspace. (Restrained, vibe, spanks, and anything else, she gone) or (impact, gag, hard sex, addimpact, or vibe, or a hand on her neck… gone).
Some subs (I have been informed 🙂 ) can hit subspace with less stimulus than my Little Peach, some require more, some it happens all the time, some it is very rare. Completely depends on your sub.
Get used to reading her and her reactions… if they seem sluggish, she isn’t using her full vocabulary, slurring her speech, can’t keep her head up, muscles weakening/collapse… all signs of what might be subspace.
Downtime: a term invented by MrFox and LK to describe their communication ritual in a D/s context. There are a few blog posts on the subject that I strongly suggest you read.
In a nutshell it is time set aside to discuss your D/s dynamic. Nothing else. A time where you are not allowed to judge, or argue, or use anything that is said to “win” or solve a problem/puzzle. A time to discuss, complain, and work together to find solutions. With no repercussions. A time when she can feel safe to tell you that you are completely failing… and where you can be safe to listen and hear that criticism, without needing to defend yourself or your ego. Just truth, flowing back and forth.
Great helps. I was talking to my sub and got into “subspace” trying to describe what it is because I’m thinking that I can’t wait to help her achieve it. She looked at me kinda perplexed and said she is already partially getting into that just by has been going on. Encouraging words to say the least.