Thank you for your introduction. In the taming of the shrew torment is used to gain the heart of the bride. This will only lead to resentment and heartache. Submission is a gift it must come from a person willing to give it. Only then can it be sustainable. May i suggest you start by telling your wife exactly how you feel. D/sM is based on trust. Trust is obtained by open and honest communication and building a solid foundation for your dynamic to flourish. You must put yourself out there. It is frightening at first to be so vulnerable. However by doing so you have taken a correct approach to which you seek. It takes great courage to do this. If you wish to truly lead your wife you must be honest with her and yourself. I look forward to chatting with you in the future. Welcome to husdom and good luck on your new journey together.
The submission of our wives is a tremendous gift, one that can only be given in trust, not taken by either by force or guile. To echo Dominus, communication is key in this. If you desire this you need to discuss it with her and know that this may be a slow journey if she is not in a place she is ready to accept this.
During the start of this journey, if she is not ready to take it yet, you may need to work on becoming the man she wants to follow. The brand of dominance encouraged here is one of being a gentleman Dominant, not being domineering. This means for me I often need to look hard in the mirror if my wife is struggling to desire to follow. I was encouraged seeing your desire to change your responses to situations and starting that growth.
Thank you both – I want to be the gentleman dominate. Maybe taming of the shrew was a bad choice of words. I knew of the play, but did not know the details. I need to find that leader that is in me. I have been there before, but have lost my way. Hopefully I can learn some tips to rediscover him again and be the Dom my wife will naturally submit to like she used to.