Memberat 12:46 pm
<cue “Sympathy for the Devil” by The Rolling Stones>
Ok, ok, I’m not really that suave and debonaire. I can always pretend, though!
I’ve been away for a few years, due to work and health limitations, but I’ve come back for the atmosphere and camaraderie that this place exudes. I’ll update my profile soon.
We’ve been married for somewhere around 21 years, and we’ve always been dabblers in D/s, even before we got married. Since I lost my job in January (due to disability. Migraines suck), and our kids are all working and/or out of the house, we have had a lot more time in which we can be both more intimate and more playful.
We’re both information and research junkies, so we both do a lot of reading on a huge number of topics, including kink.
She’s recently come across the concept of DD/lg and did some investigation. It turns out, without being conscious of it, I’ve been of the DD persuasion for all of my adult life, as opposed to “classic BDSM” as society views it. I’ve always been a caretaker, and pushed her out of her comfort zone to reach bigger and better things for herself. I have literally been her biggest cheerleader for most of her adult life… Much more than her birth family ever was.
That’s not to say that we fit the classic DD/lg mold, either. She doesn’t feel any age-regression to any younger than about 18-20… The prime of her sexual life, but still needing the reassurance and nurturing and encouragement (of various sorts, both positive and negative, but mostly positive). She is young at heart, playful in bed, and loves being treated with all the girlie things. Total nymphette, too, and a little bit bratty in a limit-testing way.
In her own words, “I think the “littlest” I am is maybe 18/20. If you have to put an age on it. For myself it’s more a take care of me, protect me, encourage me mindset” And since the day we met, I’ve been protective (sometimes, overly so), encouraging (In fact, I wanted her to present her art at a competition, and she complained that we didn’t have a car that she trusted. So I went out and bought a better car. Literally. Ah, the days of having a flush income), and I have basically never left her wanting for anything.
So, that leaves us both kind of in a grey area, neither fish, nor foul, as it were. At least, it kind of feels that way. She’s strong and smart, all on her own, but she still looks to me for reassurance, guidance, and leadership. Obviously, she looks to me in a Dominant role, and I try to live up to her expectations. Even with that, though, I have had my confidence shaken and I’m still trying to find my proverbial footing. Having to come to terms with disability tends to do that.
If anybody can offer their thoughts on either the DD/lg genre of D/s or our particular flavor, I would appreciate some input. So much in that dynamic is written by and for the littles, but not so much about the DD side of the dynamic. I assume that the DD details are different based on the “type” of little, but I’m certain that some of the general concepts are pretty universal.
Memberat 5:13 pm
Good to have you back!!
Love the “reintroduction” heh. My Little Peach and I have been at this for just over 7months, but I’ve found that we also have a bit of the same “age range” as you in our play. She definitely isn’t a little, but I do think she backs up to that 18-20 range as well. And yes, there’s times we both refer to me as Daddy. (Though I’m sure almost everyone with little kids does that too. Lol)
So far for us it’s just been blending. Working in what does work and discarding what doesn’t. Playing and finding where and what fits us most.
Don’t worry about the labels. She is yours, and she has your answers to what the best this dynamic can be for you both.
Enjoy and explore!
Memberat 5:14 pm
Let me say welcome back sir. I dont have any experience with dd/lg dynamics but I thought I should say hello. Im sure someone here should be able to help. Im glad you came back and are continuing your journey. I look forward to chatting with you in the future. Good luck sir.
Memberat 6:45 pm
Thank you both, Mr. Dominus and Sir Mermosa. It always seems that the extremes are what gets all the attention, and the regular folks along the D/s spectrum who just do the thing don’t get (or, really, need) a whole lot of attention.
So, we float along and discover things along the way. Amusingly enough, as we were headed home today (long day of car shopping with our youngest), she said something about needing her sippy cup (she’s got a thermal stemless wine glass with a spill resistant lid) and her blankie and the air conditioning.
She then looked at me and said “We really should have noticed it earlier,” what with her “daddy issues.” Lots of her preferences lean toward older, respectable looking men. Benevolent dictator types.
So, I’ll take a page out of the Goblin King Jareth’s speech in the Escher Room (Labyrinth movie), talking to Sarah:
‘Everything that you wanted I have done,’ he says. ‘You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me. I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside-down, and I have done it all for you!’
I can do this!
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