Background.. hmmm… Okay, looking back at my life I’ve clearly been kinky all the time, however it wasn’t until about 7 years ago that I realised that was the case. By that stage I had been in an excellent vanilla relationship for about 7 years, had a step son, a son and a daughter. On realising that it wasn’t something that was going to go away, I ‘came out’ as it were to my wife (thank you ‘When Someone You Love is Kinky’) who after she picked herself up off the floor agreed to try it out.
At that time I had identified as submissive (a combination of masochistic tendencies and the belief that being a male submissive would be easier for my wife to swallow). She gave it a valiant try, but didn’t get anything out of it. Resigned I put the hope of seriously kinky sex life away (and to be fair the vanilla sex was really very good).
Unfortunately, my wife passed away from pancreatic cancer, leaving me with my son and daughter. I put thoughts of any form of relationship on hold, but was incredibly lucky to meet a woman who identified as a submissive who lived reasonably near by (by rural Australian standards anyway.) I have been a police officer for 14 years and said that I believed that I could Dominate her during sex and after a fairly relaxed and lengthy getting to know each other period we got together.
It worked like a charm and we began going out. Although she had never sought a 24/7 D/s relationship, our dating gradually evolved into a full time D/s relationship organically, much to both our surprise (I certainly had never really looked beyond the bedroom in this regard and nor had she).
We decided to play the cards we’ve been dealt – our separate strengths complement each other perfectly and we’re both incredibly passionate in a whole range of areas. The D/s relationship feels right for both of us and gives us both things we each need, freely given by the other.
So here I am, on unfamiliar ground, knowing that I will make mistakes, but hoping that with love, caring and patience, none of them will be insurmountable. Being part of a support community is something that I feel will greatly assist me in growing and hopefully avoiding some pitfalls that others may have faced.