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Brand new to the site – Lenghty Introduction
Hello My name is Mr Tri and I am a HusDom…..Each of our journeys here are different and very unique and I am sure that our specific journey is consistent with that theme.
Mrs Tri and I meet 5 years ago after dissolve marriages. We meet online (OKCupid) where I noticed through a series of embedded Q/A that she was the only female in Dallas that answered a particular question in the answer that I was looking for. I sent her a proper message with a detailed introduction (much like this) and that was the start of our journey.
At that first Starbucks coffee meeting (the next day after I sent the initial message) we were both totally honest about our background and what we were wanting going forward. Her background part of the conversation included lots of words that I had to Google under the table as she talked … words like professional Femdom, D/s, subspace, BDSM, LGBT, Vanilla, …. for a person who was in a 20 year failed marriage all this was extremely eye opening. She finally caught me googling the terms under the table and I had to confess my lack of understanding …
So that began an exploratory trip for many months where I studied as much as I could on the D/s aspects and what drew all types to this dynamic. I was submissive to her for the first 6 months of our relationship and I really focused on learning the most I could as I wanted to really understand the mental and physical connections. I learned a huge amount during that time given my readings, living the submissive life and soaking up her knowledge of being a professional Domme for 6 years.
Fast forward to about the end of that 6 month mark …. as our personal relationship grew stronger and stronger so changed the D/s energies. At some point within that timeframe I picked her up and sat her on the kitchen countertop and informed her that going forward our relationship needed to be 50-50… try telling that to a staunch Femdom early in the morning before coffee!!! I admit that my timing may have been a bit off but something inside me was stating that while all the previous experience was fun – it just did not feel right going forward given the seriousness of our relationship.
So that began our change of dynamics to where we are today which is HusDom/submrs (unaware of these terms prior to funding this site). A few points that I picked up during that early stages of our dynamics:
-It was imperative that I gained her trust over those 9 months. I had to prove to her that I was not one of the many that swooped in to get my kink and leave. Trust is the cornerstone of a true D/s relationship
-My dedication to trying anything and really diving deep to truly understand the mental aspect of this dynamic was crucial … as it proved that I was focused on learning her in that process
-There is a huge difference in the D/s dynamics between playing and living within this lifestyle. That is why this community feels right.
-When roles, responsibilities, trust, communications and total commitment are established then the true dynamics just flow
We were chatting over the weekend about this site and reflecting back on our journey … she said that for her it all changed the day I sat her on that kitchen counter and since then our dynamics have changed at a slow steady pace. That pace matched the level of trust & commitment that grew each day as everything stayed within proper balance.
Mr Tri
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4 Replies
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Welcome to husDOM Mr Tri. Sounds like you have had quite the journey! It isn’t clear from the post, are you fullying her Dominant or if you are stilling swapping? My minx and I actually took turns doing 50/50 as we first started exploring kink and power exchange, for us it became clear that I thrived in the dominant role and that it stressed her out and that for me following was an exercise in frustration but her for finally feeling relaxed.
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Welcome Mr Tri.
I have always loved playing with my Little Peach and letting her top me, but it also quickly became apparent that it was extremely difficult for her to accomplish that role (I was topping from the bottom. Constantly. Lol) and that it really did not feed her.
Fast forward and we are here. I haven’t asked her officially what she thinks yet, but we are definitely working on 24/7 now.
Good luck sir, and I look forwards to chatting with you in the future.
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Sir OTW,
Let me try to clairy more our current dynamics….Since that 6 month period (it is now 4 years later and marriage) our dynamics have evolved to where I am the dominant and she is the submissive in a 24×7 setting. This was a slow process as you can imagine given her background…but once she gave up the reins and was able to experience life as a submissive to someone that truly loved, protected, cared and totally committed to her…things changed. SHe had been fighting alone her entire life for survival and so many male and females come and went that it was not possible for her to truly trust another person…..Our relationship changed that and over time she was able to take a huge breath and just enjoy life knowing that her Daddy was not going anywhere, would protect her, would provide for her and nourished the baby girl that was deep inside but was scared to come out. This new dynamics (Daddy/baby girl) has been fully active for the past 5 months. Biggest issue is my travel schedule for work as time away is tough on both of us.
Hope that explained a bit more…
-Mr Tri
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Welcome to husDom MrTri,
I looks like you have had quite a journey already. I am looking forward to hearing about the continuation of the journey.
Enjoy the site and all it has to offer and join in on the chats.
Looking forward to learning more from you.
Buck
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