Hello Mr. W. I am SamoanSir. My wife and I have been doing the D/s thing full time for about almost 3 months now. We have 2 small children as well and I have to say it’s been a challenge implementing our dynamic while balancing a busy family life. A challenge, however that has many benefits that make the extra effort worthwhile. Arguments seem to diminish almost completely, and neither of us have been as sexually satisfied in the last 7 years as we are right now. Things I found particularly difficult at first were punishments for my wife and impact play. It all feels a bit surreal at first and pushed my moral boundaries a lot. I was raised to never hit a woman, now it’s a focal point of our relationship. Not to say in an abusive sense, but in a sense that we both agree on. Best beginning advice is have a thorough talk about limits hard and soft and trust your sub to use her safe words. We use Red Yellow Green. Yellow I found is the most important for learning, but often the most overlooked by newer subs. It’s tough to figure out what went wrong when it immediately goes from green to red. Another useful communication tool when beginning is to discuss openly what both of you hope to gain from this relationship dynamic. Establish if it’s only for play time or if it’s an everyday thing. For me one of my biggest complaints about my wife was her attitude when she talks to me and overuse of her phone. These were the first things we focused on after working out some problems. Initially we came up with like 4 pages of rules and realized in the first week that many of them were impossible to complete with a busy family lifestyle. Taking it slow isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all, and more often than not you will find your sub craving a faster pace or more dominance before you do. Not sure 50 Shades is the best source of information in a husband to Dom transition but the book does have a lot of play ideas. While I am a novice at this D/s dynamic my transition has been recent so I may be able to offer a fresh perspective seeing as how anything you are going through I may have just gone through in the last couple of months rather than years ago. Anyhow I am around to talk, give advice, and even take advice. Best of luck on your journey and feel free to post thoughts questions or comments in the forum Mr. Fox is pretty good about answering things quickly, but is also a very busy man with work so I’ll be floating around trying to give insight where and when I can.
Cheers!
-SamoanSir