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where to begin
Greetings Gentlemen:
I am posting my introduction with a little more back story so if you don’t want the long version here is the synopsis.
I am a 43 yo career Firefighter paramedic, on second marriage, first ended due to repeated cheating. Second marriage is in a rough patch, I deal with issues from combat deployment and have hit a point where I am taking charge of my life and health and this includes my sexual life.That being said the longer version:
I was first married in the mid 90's and stupidly was more out of being afraid of being alone. She cheated on me several times over the course of our 15 year marriage, including while I was deployed to combat, upon returning and planning a large 15 year anniversary trip I was asked if she could bring her boyfriend, but I could bring a girlfriend. The anger, resentment, and hurt exploded hotter than the center of the sun, I was done and promptly filed for divorce. I found a new lady who filled all of my check boxes and we have been happy thru 6 years of marriage. Sporadically she has said that she wants to know my fantasy, my dark side that I do not share. She in turn admits that she does not connect emotion with sex and is jealous for being a young mother and missing the sexual freedoms of her 20's. While I love her I have not been the dominant one in the relationship due to being raised in a very traditional, well mannered, selfless household. I have been in the Fire service for over 20 years, and most of that as a paramedic also, I spent 10 years in the Marines and have come to realize I have refused to allow my inner Dom out. whether that is from fear or sheer lack of knowledge how to channel it. The idea of the woman that I love and cherish willfully bending to my desires and allowing me to please myself and her is what I strive for. We have tried some vanilla kink with a basic bondage set and it has ignited a fire in me to grow and develop this part of who I am. I am eager to learn, so any advice or locations for ropes and knots would be appreciated. -
3 Replies
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Welcome to husDOM Burning Soul,
I am sorry to hear of some of the challenges in your past and that you are currently in a rough patch. I do know of several members here who have seen their marriages go from one the rocks to thriving by clarifying roles and feeding each other’s needs. It takes clear and open communication from both of you including being able to hear other’s desires and needs without judgment and figuring out how to feed each other within your respective limits.
Welcome, and I look forward to learning from you as you go on this journey.
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Welcome sir!
I am also a paramedic, and balance heavy work with a family of my Little Peach and 3 kids (plus random dogs cats and fish)
If you ever see me on feel free to say hi, and I hope we can give you some ideas and strategies to help you make the best marriage even better.
Cheers
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First off, welcome to husDom Burningsoul,
I would suggest that both of you sit down and talk about what each one envisions what a D/s-M life style would bring to the table. What each of you want and how do you get there. I believe that communication is one of the most important things in this life style.
Start slow and build a good solid foundation and then build on it. The journey will be well worth the work.
My wench and I have been together for 47 years and married 45 and in D/s-M for 7 years. The last 7 years we have gotten closer and bonded more then the previous 40 years.
Again, welcome to husDom
Buck
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