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Well Hello…
My wife (or sub, as it seems to be the vernacular) suggested I take a look at this site. I see how can I stand to benefit, as I have a few things I need to learn and overcome.
First… I’m not sure how to approach the concept. Right now, it seems to be something contained in the bedroom, and I get the feeling she might not want to move outside of that for the near future.
Second, I’m worried about losing control. Even when I was younger, I’ve always tended to have darker fantasies. I find myself enjoying being dominant, and enjoy spanking, whipping, and discipline. I trust my sub to safe word, but find it worrisome that I might lose control and go too far.
However, this seems like a good community to help get past such things.
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2 Replies
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Welcome. Glad you found us, no matter how you came by it.
If she’s trying to take it to the next level, you are a lucky man. Taking it beyond the awesome sex is the true amazing part of all this. The sex is great but the levels of devotion that living it outside the bedroom will invoke in her is the best part.
You have to cultivate this. You have to keep pushing on the gas pedal and not get lazy (my own issue a few months back).
On the sex, talk to her. Sit down and figure out limits. There are many sex limits list you can google. Print out two copies and go over each line. Some will be hard limit “oh hell no”. Others will be “uh maybe?” Others, “yes sir!”
You said you trust her safe words. You have them too. If you feel like you are losing control in some
Way, then safe word out. You have to maintain your control. This is what the entire D/S relationship boils down to for ne:I must maintain control over myself at all times. I have to lead. I have to take care of my body and my mind. If I can’t lead myself, how in the hell am I supposed to get her to trust me to lead her?
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Mr Black,
Welcome aboard…
Bedroom only…
When lk and I began that is exactly what it was for us, bedroom only. Within no time it naturally progressed out of our bedroom and into our everyday lives. I wouldnt be concerned about if it is ‘going’ to be inside the bedroom or outside of the bedroom yet. If it is meant to be more it will naturally develop to that point.
Losing control…
This is something that you will have to be sure of. I would guess that you have done some research already and that your minds eye of what could potentially be is much further along than your reality. If you develop your relationship through communication and trust you will have nothing to be concerned about.
Relax… Take your time… Enjoy the journey…
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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