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Putting a name to it
I’ve been in a mostly ‘vanilla’ relationship for 13 years, mostly happy but with occasional flare-ups or disagreements. We’ve always had certain tendencies to the D/s dynamic (presumably part of our initial attraction) without ever really understanding what it was or how to harness it within our relationship. My wife had begun relinquishing authority over time in the big decisions but it took a while for her to discover that what she really wanted was to serve me and hand over all control.
I’ve always wanted that, but didn’t ever feel it was a realistic thing to ask for in the current world (being brought up to believe strict gender equality was crucial and submission had to be a bad thing). We read up on everything we could find (including this site!) and discovered there was a whole world of others who had the same basic urges and relationships. There’s a lot of terms out there for what we have, but I would say we’re somewhere on the HoH/TiH spectrum erring toward the M/s!
We’ve been doing this ‘officially’ for a couple of months now so it’s somewhat new – but it’s been there unnoticed for a long time and both of us believe this is the right thing for us in the long-term and are relieved to have finally identified it. We recently had a little ceremony (exchange of vows, locking permanent jewellery/key) that has crystallised things for us.
Some of the topics posted on this site have chimed with me (loved http://husdom.com/forums/topic/whipped-not-me-buddy/ for example) and think it’s a great idea to have somewhere be able to share experiences and offer/receive support when you can’t get it from your usual drinking buddies.
So hi!
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2 Replies
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Sounds like my intro… I wonder how many of the Sirs have the same “enlightened” moment where their life changed for the better.
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conchur,
Welcome aboard!
Many of us husDOMs were raised similar to yourself in regards to equality. LK and I do not see this lifestyle as identifying myself as any better than she is. We have simply identified a leader in the relationship and the sexual component is simply what we both desire.
You multiple acronyms for identifying your own personal relationship is wonderful. In the beginning of many journeys people try to place themselves into a well defined box. The truth is that almost no one fits into one of these boxes. This is exactly what we mean when we say ‘make it your own’.
The forum thread that you identified with has become one of the most mentioned threads on the forum… My Darlings Sir has shared many of his experiences and has written many wonderful threads.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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