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New to D/s and HusDom… and a side note…
I have always had a very dominate/leadership personality, but through life have always had problems asserting that side of myself. In relationships I have always been very much the Alpha, and as in have grown into management at work, I have had to work to strengthen that Alpha side of myself. But I still have problems at time asserting those qualities. The D/s lifestyle has ways intrigued me, and the more I read about it, the more I learned, the more I realized that learning and fine tuning that side of myself can not only help me in a relationship, should I find someone to fulfill that role, but would also be advantageous in my position as management. The ability to be level headed yet firm, having expectations that are understood, and being able to enforce those expectations without being feared, but respected. I realize learning from here will be more on the D/s or D/d level, but I can apply it to other areas of my life, and look forward to doing so. Any suggestions aand places to start will be greatly appreciated.
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3 Replies
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Welcome to HusDOM. You will no doubt like it here. Much to learn from so many people. No doubt I will learn something from you.
If you’ve not discovered it yet, there is a companion site for subs called SubMrs.com that has been a big hep to my overall D/s dynamic.
May you and yours find what you are searching for.
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TopherLee,
Welcome aboard!
It seems as there is always something to learn as I am always the student myself.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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So a little more about what brought me here.
It would be an amazing thing to find a real kind of open love with another human being. To be able to mesh in a way that truly brings two people together in a true oneness. Supporting and loving each other no matter the circumstances, not worrying about who we were, but who we are and are becoming. People have become so self absorbed anymore it’s difficult to come across. After a lot of study and thinking, I realized 2 things. First I was looking too hard and for the wrong type of person. Second, even though I am an “Alpha” male, am quite dominate, I allowed myself to become domineering at times. There is a huge difference. Being a dominate male, one has to be able to control himself before he can enter into any kind relationship. I found I was also becoming domineering in work as well. As I learn to control myself, I realize I can work with my guys better, understand their needs and requests, and better manage. I really feel like, after reading some posts and thinking about things, that I have come to the right place. I realize this is a lifestyle change, but that is what it is going to take to become the man I want to be, not only for myself, but others as well.
In finding a partner, I have realized I may need to look for a true “female”. The complete opposite of my “Alpha”. But I also need to learn to feed and nurture her emotionally and intimately without being domineering, mean or aggressive. To care for her completely, without limits. That is going to be a hell of a change.
I look at my aunt and uncle, and see that is exactly why their relationship is so strong. Yes, she is the breadwinner, he cooks and clean, but he is still the Alpha, he takes care of her emotional needs, and they are completely devoted to each other. Yeah they each have their faults, but they are devoted nonetheless.
I see nothing wrong with, and would love to have, a female around that loves to do some of what I do, that I love to do some of what she does, photography, getting out on the bikes and taking off somewhere, working together on projects around the house, but that emotional and intimate balance is what I so badly desire. Her to curl up on the couch, snuggled up against me feeling completely safe and protected. To be proud to walk beside me holding my hand. Being comfortable enough and trusting enough for her to give herself completely to me, knowing she has the same in return.
All I can say is thanks for being here, and I am looking forward to the journey.
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