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New to being Dom
new to site and new to the D/s relationship, with that said.
my wife and i have been married for 18 years and have always enjoyed the bondage aspect of our marriage but within the last year she has wanted to explore the D/s roles. she is very submissive and wants me to take more charge of her but i do not know how to proceed. that’s why i’m here
ty js
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3 Replies
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Welcome Rotmeister. I am kind of in the same boat. Just joined the site, and trying to figure it out. I will say that my wife has hinted at the D/s roles off and on in the past. My biggest road block then was all the information I could find was either “try blindfolding and tying her up” or the other extreme involving clothespins, leather suits, etc. We had done the first, and while I see nothing wrong with the second, I knew I wasn’t “there” yet. Wish I would have found this site years earlier, because I kept questioning “now what”. I finally asked myself “what would I REALLY like”? Turns out for me, at this stage, it is simple things like seeing her wearing only t-shirt and panties all day around the house, having her masturbate in front of me, etc. I know still pretty vanilla for many, but its baby steps. I have learned very quickly that communication is the key to all of it (you will probably hear that a lot), and that is where my wife and I are right now. I will leave it to others more experienced to give specifics.
Welcome!
King2005
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Welcome! First things first…. Have you read Mr Fox’s blogs yet? Wealth of info. At first I thought a lot of this was paint by numbers. Do this then do that. Now I realize it’s about being the leader of my house. It’s about my demeanor. My tone of voice. My actions. My character. Being someone worth following.
I will add that she is expressing a desire to please you. Tell her how she pleases you. Compliment her. Take charge of her in bed both physically and verbally. Give her some “tasks” that you truly need help with and all her to serve. Not busy work. All of this is in the blogs.
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Rotmeister,
Welcome aboard,
I would begin at the beginning of the blogs as has already been recommended by Tex… Slow and steady is definitely key. Remember that you are responsible for the success of the dynamic, proceed with caution. D/s is not a race and there is no finish line. Rather it is a journey without a destination. Be sure that both of you are enjoying the ride.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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