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Learning to Dom
Quick backstory, because I feel it’s very relevant to everything in my life right now.
I met my wife (LB) 2 years ago, we dated and got engaged very quickly. We talked about D/s from our first date, she was interested in being a submissive. I had a fantasy about what it would be like to be a dom.
Even though she shared her interest with me early on, I never actually brought it into our relationship. I was too weak. I had a porn addiction too and even though I told LB I had stopped looking at porn I was still doing it.
We got married in February. By the end of July instead of just looking at porn, I was talking to other submissives online. Even though my wife wanted to try a D/s relationship, I wasn’t willing to act on my dom fantasies with her. Most of what I thought was dominance was just stupid porn tropes, and I was the worst kind of online dom.
She caught me cheating online in August and since then we have had to work through a lot of issues from the damage I caused by breaking our wedding vows. Even though I didn’t deserve it, she stayed with me.
I have recognized that my failure to act as a man nearly destroyed our relationship. I love LB so very much and I am working to repair the damage.
We started the D/s relationship dynamic in August and I have found that I know almost NOTHING about being a real Dom. I am eager to learn. I failed LB once, I don’t want to let her down again.
We have moved pretty smoothly into a Daddy Dom style of relationship, but LB has complained multiple times that I am not a very good Dom, but I am a good Caregiver. She wants me to be a better Dom, so I need to learn how to develop my dominant side for her. I would do anything for her.
So that is why I am here, and I am very hopeful that I can learn from some of you who have much more experience and wisdom than I do.
Thank you in advance for your help and advice!
– Andrew
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2 Replies
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Mr. Bubbles, you are not alone in the road to learning to be a complete Dom. I have been in the dynamic for a few months and still find it challenging. Much of the ‘perception’ of D/s is skewed and not the real D/s-M world. It also is important to note that there isn’t just one Dom style. It took me a couple of months to learn the basics of what my Renn needed in her Dom. I am still learning as our D/s-M relationship and dynamic evolves.
Engage and ask question in chat. I have found that to be the most useful and constructive part of the site.
Welcome!
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Mr Bubbles,
It takes a man to take responsibilities for his errors… A characteristic of a Dominant…
Remember that it is important that you develop your Dom at your own pace. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into something that you are not fully comfortable with. It will take a strong foundation to maintain your progress when you stumble, trust me you will, we all do!
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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