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Introduction to Shadowfest
Hello all. I met a few of you this morning in the chat room, but here is my official introduction thread.
I am 31 years old, happily married. My wife and I have been married for almost 8 years, and have been together for over 10. We have two wonderful sons who are our lives and main priority. I work full time as a sort of IT Manager / CAD Design Tech hybrid. My wife volunteers all day, every day at the school our sons go to, and regularly helps out as a substitute teacher.
When it comes to the dom/sub relationship dynamic, we really have been a long way into these roles for quite a while now. She is a natural sub, and I am a natural dom. We’ve never really used those specific titles, but a large part of our day to day life has revolved around these ideas for years. She takes genuine pleasure in serving me and making me happy, and I take the same level of pleasure in appreciating her and doing my best to help her grow, both as a person and as what I now realize to be my submissive. I don’t know how long it’s been since I got up to get my own drink, or had to prepare a meal for myself. It’s not because I’m an asshole. It’s because I’m NOT an asshole that this dynamic has emerged between us. I always thank her and make it clear how much I appreciate how spoiled I am, and I always reciprocate the attention in ways that she finds fulfilling to her submissive nature.
We have long enjoyed dom/sub scenarios in the bedroom, and both get extreme satisfaction from it. A particular encounter recently left me thinking about what it would be like to truly apply this dynamic to our 24/7 lives together. To really identify as her dominant partner and for her to identify as my submissive partner. That lead to me doing some searching around online, because hey, everything you could ever want to know is out there on the net somewhere.
We have talked about it for a few days now, and so far, so good. We have always been extremely good at communicating with each other. It is, without a doubt, one of the secrets to our incredibly happy and satisfying marriage. She seems very interested and intrigued by the idea of formally identifying as and taking on the role of my sub. I must admit that I am equally interested in truly becoming her dom. 🙂
That said, I’m not really very sure where to go from here. I’ve got some ideas. I intend to draw up a contract for her to sign, sort of a dom/sub base level agreement. If she agrees, I intend to formalize the occasion with an outdoor collaring ceremony. Beyond that, I intend to start small. A few base rules, nothing crazy. Perhaps include a mandatory verbal acknowledgement of my status, being called “Sir” or something to that effect. Maybe require that she kneel in front of me once we have our children in bed. Things like that.
I definitely don’t want to go overboard and bring tension into our relationship with this. The absolute number one rule (and I have already told her this) will be that, even though she is my sub, she is always entitled to say no or to stop whatever is going on. Her happiness is my ultimate desire here.
Well, this wound up being a bit long. Sorry for that, but there’s my introduction post. I really look forward to becoming an active member of this community and learning and progressing in this infinitely intriguing (and I think really perfectly ideal for my wife and I) lifestyle.
-Shadowfest
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4 Replies
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Patience, communication, trust, and love are all cornerstones of a solid relationship and are vital for a D/s relationship as well. It sounds like you are on the right path!
It is great to have you here. Good luck on your journey!
MG
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Shadow feast,
Welcome Sir. Your introduction is quite intriguing and really made me realize that each of us has such a varied path but that the love and care we feel for our subs is so very common.
What a fascinating place to find yourself. To be in effect a husDom and sub but having never formalized it in your minds. It sounds almost Head of Household (HOH).
My first thought is to wonder why you both are interested in changing your dynamic? What need is being unmet for either of you? I certainly agree with your desire to not add tension or stress into the relationship.
It sounds like you are a D/s-M couple that has been in the lifestyle for years and have relaxed into patterns that albeit are great you may be looking for a fresh spark by increasing the D/s roles outside the bedroom.
Thank you for joining and sharing your story.
Loving Liege
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Shadowfest,
It’s not because I’m an asshole. It’s because I’m NOT an asshole that this dynamic has emerged between us.
This sentence speaks volumes….
Welcome Aboard Sir!
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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Shadowfest,
I think you will find very sound advice here, as well as Doms who have been through what you and yours are. Mr Fox already quoted my favorite sentence in your post, so I won’t do it again.
I cannot recommend enough to have your wife check out https://submrs.com . Most of our wives/subs are also on that site as it provides a safe place for them to discuss the lifestyle.
We are glad to have you here.
-Mr Stone
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