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Introduction
Hello all!
Thank you for providing such a wonderful environment for Doms to communicate.
It is actually my sub who led me here; she has joined littlekanichen as LadyBird. We have been together for about 3 years now, but it’s only in the last week or so that we’ve decided to go into a D/s relationship.
I suppose I should explain me and my sub’s path to a D/s relationship.
We’ve been in a relationship for about 3 years now and we’ve been living together for nearly 2 years. Written like that it doesn’t sound very long, but we have a very intense and intimate relationship – we both spend the vast majority of our time together outside work etc.
Well I say that, but for the last 12 months because of work I’ve been living with LB Fri/Sat/Sun and living in a different city Mon/Tue/Wed/Thu. We would Google Hangout every night, and sometimes play games together online, but it has been a strain.
I think partly because I’ve been away, LB has been getting into romance/BDSM novels over the last few months. That’s how she became aware of D/s.
I’ve been broadly aware of D/s etc for a few years, being a young man with eclectic porn tastes there’s not much that passes me by – but it’s always been a fantasy. We’ve done a bit of play before, and talked some about this sort of thing, but never really gone anywhere with it – just some fun.
This has all changed in the last week, because LB proposed we move into a D/s relationship. We’ve been talking about it a lot, and she’s joined and become an active member of littlekanichen.
I’ve been doing what research I can, but have had little time because of another exciting development: we have just moved to the city where I work, which means we’re back together full-time.
This has all culminated in our agreeing in principle to our ‘D/s Plan’.
Here is the contents:
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D/s Plan
D/s is 24/7 except for Downtime.
Downtime is:
each weekday, starts when first partner gets home from work each weekday, ends when sub calls Dom Master for the first time;
once a fortnight, called for by Dom, to track finances and make decisions about bills, etc
whenever either partner calls ‘Downtime’, until that partner chooses to end it.
Any punishment etc earned before Downtime began will carry over after Downtime ends.
Sub: I need guidance to achieve my goals in regards to self esteem, career, art and health.
Sub: I need my opinion and experience to be actively listened to.
Sub: Preparation and aftercare is to include some massage to muscles.
Dom is to follow self-prescribed rules.
Sub is to follow all prescribed daily rules.
Scenes are only when they are planned and declared in advance and agreed by both partners.
We are to be loving at all times.
Hard Limits for Sub
I am never to be called “whore” but during sex any other term is fine.
I am never to be called “fat”.Agreed in principle 06/7/2014.
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This is a really exciting development – we’re going to have a proper ceremony etc next weekend, but we wanted to get our ‘agreement’ sorted first to prepare us for the next week.
We’ve actually been operating informally for the last few days, but we had an argument today that crystallized that we really needed an agreement to stop us ‘getting off track’.
A lot of people might question going 24/7 or even taking it outside sex, so soon. That too has kind of developed organically. From the beginning (only he beginning of this week!), LB has been talking about specific lifestyle rules she needs to improve her life. I agree she needs these rules for her own benefit, and so I felt that own its own moves things outside the bedroom so to speak.
I won’t deny it’s also my desire to make this a most-of-the-time thing. To me, it feels weird to just switch it on and off, like the TV. I think it really does have to become an everyday part of our relationship. This is different to ‘scenes’ – those we are going to plan in advance etc.
We have had a few rocky moments so far, but I think we are on the rigt path. There’s so much more to say already, but I want to get this post out!
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2 Replies
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LadyBirds Dom,
Welcome to HusDom. It was a pleasure to read your introduction. Congratulations on starting your D/s journey and on being together full time with your LadyBird as well. You are in for quite an adventure. Please be sure to look at all of Mr Fox’s past blogs. They are very insightful and will be very helpful. Also read through the forum posts from the other HusDoms. There is a wealth of information and knowledge here. Your LB will benefit greatly from LKs site also. Mr Fox and LK have created a wonderful community for couples that wasn’t to have a committed loving D/s-M relationship.
Again welcome and I look forward to hearing more about your journey as it moves forward.
Good day,
My Darlings Sir
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LadyBird’s Master,
Welcome Aboard!
Thank you for the kind words regarding my website…
If you have been reading much on my website to this point you will know that I recommend caution when beginning a D/s relationship in regards to 24/7 and creating too many rules.
With that being said there are plenty of husDOMs here that have began their journey under similar circumstances.
I look forward to learning more about your dynamic as your journey continues.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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