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Intro
Hello. I will start that I’m not very good with “putting words on paper” so my intro might not be as a good read as others. My Sub and I (which for now I have named Wench) officially decided to start a D/s lifestyle within the last week. I don’t even have a “dom” name and not sure I’ll have one. Wench is to address me as Sir, Master, or by my real name so at this point I don’t see a need for one. I found this site through a fellow member I met on another site. Chatting with him and reading some blogs/post on this site is what made me decide to discuss the lifestyle with Wench.
A little history: We have been married for 15 years and have kids. At the start of our marriage our sex life was poor to say the least. However several years ago (6-7 yrs) our relationship took a turn for the better. We start to be much more open with our “history” prior to marriage as well as sharing all our fantasies. We have many fantasies that we both enjoy and it was no until recently (few months) that we start discussing her becoming “submissive” to me during sex. Another recent revelation was that I found out that I’m a candaulist (I had to Google it 🙂 ). In addition we have bought several “toys” over the last couple of years including a paddle and “whip.”
We have a very loving relationship and I because of this I have had hesitation to being a “real” Dom to her. I don’t know if that is normal or if it means I’m not a “real” Dom in the eyes of the D/s community. Time will tell. For now what I/we know is that we have embarked on this adventure together and regardless of how long it lasts (few days, weeks, years, or lifetime) we will have fun along the way. We know we will hit bumps along the road just like we have had bumps the last 15+ yrs (we dated a couple of yrs before we got married). I have told her I have no idea what I’m doing but I look forward to learning.
We have decided to have a D/s relationship 24/7. This does not mean that we announce it to the world. In fact we plan to keep it a secret as our friends and family would not understand. What it means to me is that I will have her perform task in the bedroom as well as outside the bedroom. I will be setting up a weekly/daily schedule for her. The schedule will not be filled with specific tasks but instead with general tasks (i.e. 9-10 clean house, 10-11 work out, 11-12 lunch, 1-2 free time, etc). She will also have weekly tasks to complete (i.e. clean out fridge, clean out hallway closet, etc) but it is up to her to decide when to complete them.
I may be sharing more info than I’m supposed to at the intro. I think this will give you idea of where we are in our relationship and how we got here. Of course there is much more details. I’m happy to discuss this with anyone on a 1-to-1 basis over chat on here or yahoo messenger (same ID). One other piece of info. She has emailed me some hard rules, soft rules, and worries. As we learn more we may add more rules. In addition we do not have a written contract but instead a verbal one.
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1 Reply
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funcpl_30s,
Welcome Aboard!
I found this site through a fellow member I met on another site. Chatting with him and reading some blogs/post on this site is what made me decide to discuss the lifestyle with Wench.
This is why this community exits… Please thank your friend for me as well…
“real” Dom in the eyes of the D/s community
It is amazing just how many people in the community use terminology like this. D/s, BDSM activity or any relationship for that matter is individual and should be whatever the couple wants it to be.
When someone begins to label someone else as not being “real” I see it as an insecurity on that persons behalf. Your relationship is very real and it is what you and your partner desire it to be and not to be judged in the eyes of another.
Thank you for your introduction and best wishes,
Mr Fox
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