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In for a Penny, in for a Pound
Hello to all. Just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and give everyone a feel for my life situation. For years I guess you could say, I was a Top, who enjoyed the occasional play with whatever lady of submissive personality I might know at the time. Never included it in my relationship dynamic fully until the past year.
My current situation is very unusual I am sure. Last March I met my girl, who has lived in the lifestyle for more than 12 years, on two separate occasions she was fulltime TPE 24/7.
I am a 53 year old male, Marine of 13 years service, natural Dominant personality in my profession and competitive nature all my life. I am self made businessman own my retail business in the recreactional industry…. my girl is 33, so we have a substantial age difference between us. Now at this point you are probably wondering to yourself, why does he keep calling her his “girl” and not his sub?? Well, because she is not my sub. She came to me with the agreement to live in this dynamic, but asked me for flexibility so that she could regain her stride living it 24/7 once again. Unbeknown to me at the time, I had no clue that her early formative years of submission we very abusive. He first Dom followed her several states away, held her hostage, beat her near death , emptied a magazine clip of 9 mm rounds next to her ear, then used the final one to kill himself.
My Daddy Dom nature, enabled her to fall in love with me, and this is where we ran into troubles, in her words, I can give you submission, or I can give you love, but I can not love and submit. She was trained to submit without emotions, taught that feelings are weakness. She wanted her Dom to be borderline abusive as her therapy to manage early abuses in her life. Now I understand how some Doms have a hard time early with pulling the trigger, so to speak and using an extreme measure of force due to the fear of hurting one they love. I have always shad the ability to compartmentalize such emotions and separate them. I understood her physical needs, and the need for subspace to work as therapy against the noise in her head. We got to the point where every day was confrontation, she wanted to love me but wanted to hate me so that she can accept my Dominance. Daily defiance from someone I felt needed to act as though she was a willing participant in her submission, after all isn’t it suppose to be a willful act? That and the fact that she had years of submissive experience she did her best to make me feel incompetent. She was best at topping from the bottom and no matter how many marks I gave her, her initial training was deep rooted.We separated for a short time, yet I love and care for her. It was then that I learned she was battling clinical depression. Needing her medications, which she finally found help with, brought her back to me, but emotionally a totally different person. One of the side affects was a sex drive that disappeared. Where was this awesome sexual creature I knew before. She loves me an wants a life with me, but also says submission is not her life any longer. Part of me felt cheated, drawn into a relationship deeper with the dynamics I so needed in my life as the carrot only to be later denied after I invested my heart.
She offered a compromise and asked me to find another sub, in fact helped me to find my Angel. We both befriended this young lady, and I quickly noticed the traits within her to make a great submissive, she was and is a natural.
well to cut this story short, 3 months later, she moves in with us, living in my upstairs suite, and just this week, signed a Contract of Submission. Luckly I am a businessman with the means to have the both of them stay home. We have our hobbies and they spend their days taking riding lessons and doing the things to improve both of them.
Angel is in the initial stages of training, and is working our superbly. My girl (fiancé)… has grown very fond of her and is a big sister to her. Angel goes about her duties naked at home, wearing her collar, luckily my kids are grown and my ranch offers us the privacy to strut around in our glory 24/7.
I am finding that this is truly my first and only experience of taking a raw piece of clay and molding her. She is hungry to learn. It has been a very daunting task and I worry that I will fail at providing a level of attention to keep her on track.
This is why you find me here, seeking advice from more experienced knowledgable Doms, we are preparing to attend local munches so that I can get her more familiar with the community and expand her knowledge as well. I know this will not be an easy task, especially knowing I have to worry now about jealousies in the household, and finding a way to not neglect my girl while giving the attention needed in my sub.
I am sure there may be questions and times to share additional details, I will thank all in advance for allowing me to be here and hopefully I can give much in return.
MD
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1 Reply
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MojoDaddy,
Welcome aboard!
You have a very unique circumstance indeed. I am confident that you will find a lot of knowledge that you can put to good use here on husDOM as I am equally sure that many will benefit from your experiences as well. Much can be learned when looking at situations from never before considered vantage points.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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