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I am new here
I am new here and not too sure where to start. I have always been dominate but didn’t know how to continue that dominance …. The wife and I started D/s a few years back but she got sick, we moved and I was involved in a bad car wreck.
We have been married for 16 yrs and now WE want/need this …. Our sex life has now kicked up a notch … or 2, 3 … I want to learn more about DOMINATING my submissive wife and ‘put her in her place’ … and not being overbearing. -
2 Replies
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Wolfred,
Welcome aboard,
And welcome back to D/s. Hopefully your wife’s place is right there by your side.
Looking forward to chatting with you.
Best wishes
Mr Fox
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The balance my kitten and I have found us not in her doing as I say, but rather making her WANT to do as I say.
My Kitten serves me in every way. She WANTS to serve me. Whenever I don’t give her the attention she deserves or if I don’t make it evident I am attending to her needs, she is far less likely to have that desire. She must feel absolutely safe and sound.
When my Kitten needs to be “put in her place” the worst thing she can experience is my dissapointment. I never even have to say much. It absolutely crushes her to know she has let me down in some way. So, when something doesn’t go as planned I follow this series if it keeps going wrong:
1. Reminder of agreement – no judgement
2. Scolding, reinforcement of expectation, extra praise when corrected
3. Intervention – downtime serious talk, reevaluation of expectation (make sure this is an action that satisfies both if us), “you have dissapointed me by…..”, if you do this again, we will do x, y, z
4. Agreed punishment (corner time, written apology, loss of screen time, extra duties, etc.) must fit crime. Cannot be levied in anger.I have never had to go past three. Usually, if it is something going wrong multiple time, she either doesn’t understand, or there is something about the action that is creating internal turmoil. When that’s true, we immediately try to figure out what that fissure is, and retailer the procedure to be honorable for both of us.
Many people use spanking, which works for them. This does not work for us. Instead, spanking is for only when I am expressing my pleasure and contentment. So, out punishments are random and never disproportionate. Finally, real punishment, (#4) in our opinion, is ONLY for actions that have already been mastered, and are knowing being broken.
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