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Hola on Cinco de Mayo
I’m Jake, Lee is my wife of 9 years, best friend, and new sub. When I met her 10 years ago, she was a 36 year old virgin who had never seen or touched an erect cock. She was (and still is) smart, beautiful, sexy, and gifted in many ways. She was still a virgin because she’s a BBW, and nobody before me could see past that. If other guys had only known how orally talented, multi-orgasmic, and sexually adventurous she would turn out to be, they would have been fighting over her.
I am her first and only sexual partner. She’s not my first but hopefully is my last partner. She was an enthusiastic learner and I took my time introducing her to new sexual experiences.
Part of my goal has been to help her learn to love her body instead of hating it. Reading all the comments from men (and a few women) who think she is beautiful and sexy as hell has been quite an education for her. No, she doesn’t have the body of a flat bellied model. But her body is beautiful and I love revealing that beauty in the photos I take (I’m a semi-professional photographer).
Several years ago we tried some light BDSM just for laughs, and found out that it turns her on. She started reading D/s novels (including FSOG but she hated the poor writing) and she started having fantasies of me being her Dom and her being my willing sub. Both of us have learned the benefits of her letting go and of my controlling her. About a month ago we agreed to seriously try it and so I’m now a new Dom learning the ropes (but we don’t do shibari!), and she’s a new sub learning how to overcome her fears of submission.
We are learning to establish hard and soft boundaries, and learning how to proceed when she willingly disappoints me. This past weekend was the first time I’ve ever punished her. In this case it was because she had neglected my sexual needs for nearly two weeks. She knew she was doing it but made no steps to remedy the problem. I told her how disappointed I was, and she willingly draped herself over my body and submitted to 20 spankings. I took her about as far with pain as she could tolerate (although her tolerance keeps increasing). I then held her close and lightly ran my hand over her tender cheeks and told her how proud I was of her. Within a few minutes, when I asked her if she had any requests, she said she wanted me to come in her mouth while spanking her some more. Which is just what I did.
She is an emergency room nurse and is also in school to get her Nurse Practitioner certification. This leaves her very little time for me, and yet her constantly having patient’s lives in her hands causes her to need some time when she doesn’t have to think, just feel. That’s when she needs a loving Dom to take the burden of control away from her. The time and neglect issue comes into play the most during finals week, when she develops tunnel vision and seems barely aware of me. We will have to wrestle with that for a few more years. Advice in this area is especially appreciated by me.
Several years ago I wrestled custody of my son away from my abusive ex-wife. He lives with us full time and is preparing to graduate from high school. It was the right thing to do but has had a dire impact on our sex life. We used to have a great amount of uninterrupted free time for sex and photos of sex, but now our time is greatly limited, and he very rarely spends the night elsewhere. Technically his mom has every other weekend custody, but in two years he’s only spent the night with her twice. So while we used to be able to drag our Liberator Esse (sex furniture) into the living room for fun and photos, used to be able to watch porn without fear of discovery, and she used to be able to walk around in lingerie, now we have to be constantly on our guard. We also have to be quiet. Long gone are the days of weekend sexual marathons.
She is discovering the joys of letting go and learning how to please me. I’m learning the joys of being in control. It’s a huge power trip for me to feel almost limitless control, but I’m also keenly aware of how sacred it is for me to care for her, nurture her, and respect her boundaries. If she screws up, she may be punished. If I screw up, I could damage our relationship. The idea of my pushing her limits, introducing her to new concepts, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, and heights of sexual ecstasy (all within the context of her being able to opt out by using her safe word at any time) is liberating and sobering. How strange.
As I said before, I take things slowly with her to help her learn her boundaries. The oddest thing is to discover how few boundaries she has. When we first became lovers, neither of us knew what she’d like and what she’d object to. The only way to learn was to try things. If she liked it, we added it to our menu. If she didn’t like it, we’d drop it. But we have never had to drop anything. She knows she can trust me to cherish her, and so has the freedom to explore. I have never seen such a transformation in a woman, going from a virgin who had never had sex OR an orgasm, to a woman who loves sex, craves having me in her mouth, enjoys anal play (especially receiving) and anal sex, likes being tied up and spanked, and is learning how to wear sexy, revealing clothes that show off her 44k breasts. I look forward to taking her out in public with her displaying ample cleavage and watching guys drool over her breasts. Some women hate guys staring at their breasts. With Lee, it’s a very flattering novelty.
I have no idea how far this path will take us. My goal is to help her be fulfilled, help her be proud of her body, and for me to be her sanctuary, her escape, her addiction, her hero, her disciplinarian, her lover, and her best friend. I want to have control over her so that I can continue to lead her to delightful places she could never get to without me pushing her.
Our biggest regret is that we didn’t meet twenty years earlier.
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4 Replies
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Jake,
Welcome to HusDom and Congratulations on your new journey. It appears from your introduction that you and your Lee are well on your way. You will find a lot of support and information here and if she has not already found it, please direct your Lee to LKs site for subs. https://submrs.com. It is an excellent source as of information and support as well.
I enjoyed reading your introduction. You clearly love your Lee immensely and want to have the best relationship possible. D/s-m in my opinion, is a wonderful way to do that. The honesty, trust and open communication required to live this lifestyle have changed my life. And many others here as well. I am sure it will be a great journey for you two also.
Good day,
My Darlings Sir
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Jake,
Welcome to husDom Sir. You post is quite moving. You are both so fortunate to have found each other and D/s-M. The depth of the relationship and what it brings to a couple is really told well in your story and I thank you for sharing it.
Loving Liege
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Jake,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you have a very good foundation in which to build your dynamic! HusDom’s forums/blogs/chat have a wealth of knowledge and experience from Doms of all levels. If you can’t find what you’re looking for start a forum post about it! There are many of us that are willing to help answer anything we can.
I look forward to talking with you more.
Sincerely,
Master Grey
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Jake,
Welcome aboard Sir!
I look forward to learning more about you and your relationship…
Best wishes along your journey,
Mr Fox
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