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Hello New World
After what has been an intentional slow process for me, I’ve decided to become a member and introduce myself.
I am in my early 30s, as is my wife, we have 2 small children(oldest in Kindergarten), and I work in the financial industry. I make decisions all day, and for the most part, what I say goes.
I’ve been lurking this site for a while now, since spring.This all started after a long conversation with my wife, sitting at a bar, waiting on some friends to show up to watch the NHL playoffs. During this conversation it was brought to light, that one of the things she likes, is being submissive in bed, just not quiet as direct as that.
So why so long to become a member? I needed time to work on myself. After reading some of the blog, it was clear to me that I was nowhere near ready to try and jump into this. I felt as though if we were going to take this journey, I would be doing a good portion of the initial swimming for the both of us, and if I wasnt prepared for that, we would go nowhere fast and continue as vanilla(which after all I’ve read to be possible, is nowhere near where I want to be).
But she stated she likes to submit, you say? While she has stated a desire to be submissive in the bedroom, it is nowhere near the level as many of you probably started at. I’m not sure she really even knows a good definition of it. I would assume her definition would be that I decided what is done and how, within her limits, but only when she says so. She, at this time, still holds that power.
The other major hurdle at this point, is that I feel I have previously tainted this relationship. We moved in together at a young age, and 100s of miles away from our families. I think during this initial time, I broke her trust, and at times turned a cold shoulder to her. This has made her put up walls that need to be broken down, the problem with that, is I was the reason the walls were built in the first place. I’ve been working to try and break these walls, but it is a slow process.
I have a feeling this will be a VERY slow journey for us, at least for the first while until she completely trusts that I will always have her best interests at heart.
At this point, she is in the dark about my desires to have our relationship evolve in this direction. If/when we move to a D/s – M relationship, it will be me starting the conversation. But I feel like the time is not yet right to start the conversation, more of the walls need to be broken down first.
I look forward to continuing to read about your journeys and applying what is learned to my own relationship, as well as any advice given about my own.
Regards
– Nick -
4 Replies
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Nick,
Welcome!
You have given yourself some great advice…take it slow and easy. There is no need to rush into anything. Take your time and build a solid foundation of trust and communication. After that, then you can build on it and make things even better.
Best of luck on your journey!
Take your time, enjoy it, and always keep it fun!
Take Care!
Mr. B
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Welcome LeoNick,
I wish you luck in your relationship goals. Not sure it helps but I find that the better I am at being me the more submissive my wife becomes. Never let her down, always keep your word, and I’m sure you will get there.
Best of luck
MasterDaddy
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Welcome aboard Nick.
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Hey Man, I hope your process is moving in the right direction. Best of luck knocking down the walls.
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