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Gotta take first step somewhere
The wife and I have been together since high school, we’re bot 25. We’re married with a single kiddo. Things were good but got a little boring, as I’m sure most of you know. I’ve done the D/S in the bedroom here and there and we liked it. But The past few days I’ve tried out side of the bedroom and enjoyed it. I also realized I was previously doing it wrong, getting too angry punishment type of things. Read a lot and realized I was doing it wrong. I can tell the wife enjoys it, but is nervous about it. Thinks that I may do something a bit overboard that she doesn’t like it. I would like to be pointed in the right direction on how to obtain her trust as a Dom I don’t ruin something I think we both enjoy. I’ve done the written punishments when she “earned” them. Haven’t done the rice simply because she hasn’t dont anything yet.. We have gone into public (grocery store) yesterday and kept it up. But, she didn’t speak very loud and i was understanding, she didn’t want anyone to hear, and let her get away with it. Like I said I’d like to get a few pointers, and ease into it properly. thanks for the tips in advance!
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8 Replies
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it won’t let me edit, so i forgot to say this, What i did previously in the past i’ve stopped doing completely. I’ve done reading and started doing what that has suggested NOT what i was doing..
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Xpsychox,
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Husdom!
You have joined a wonderful community full of participants willing to share there journies.
Best regards,
Sir -
xpyschox,
Welcome aboard…
I am elated that you have discovered husDOM™. This is a wonderful community to grow and share.
Most need members start at the beginning of the blog posts. If you select the blog dropdown menu and look to the right for the archives drop down menu. Start at the beginning… Then most members venture off into the forums.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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Xphyscox,
Indeed welcome to HusDom! Great chatting this evening. It means a lot that you are starting over and want to course correct.
I think that gaining trust is the single most important thing you can do for your sub. It takes a long time and many ebbs and flows to get there. But the ultimate gift is when your submrs / partner willingly offers his/her submission to you with complete trust in you, his/her Dom. Put her first, Go SLOW and COMMUNICATE and you will be successful.
Good luck in your journey and I hope you find some wisDom in the community. I know I did.
SirHamlet
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“I think that gaining trust is the single most important thing you can do for your sub. It takes a long time and many ebbs and flows to get there.”
I totally agree with SirHamlet on this. We often talk about trust as if it is a foundation of D/s, and it is, but it is not a one stop item. Like D/s, trust is its own unlimited journey. It is so much more complex and nuanced than I would’ve thought before. But that is part of the fun. Earning more and more of her trust as you progress as a Dom.
Welcome to the site!
Best,
Mr.
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thanks for the best wishes, look forward to talking with you guys more and learning even more!
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Welcome!
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Xphyscox,
Welcome> I haven’t been here long but have found everyone to be warm and Friendly. Excellent place to learn and share about the D/s-M lifestyle.
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