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Experimenting
After 5 years together (3 of them married), my wife and I decided to try some domination, submission, and bondage about a month ago. It has been a terrific experience so far, and we are hoping to learn and try much more.
When we met, she had virtually no experience with sexual pleasure (not even the solo variety). I had been thinking for years that she was enjoying our activities in the bedroom, but that she was instinctively denying herself much greater pleasure by automatically pulling away from me whenever the feelings got very intense. So when I saw some things on sale at a local adult toy store, I decided to try forcing her (with her permission) to experience things she never had before. She ended up loving it.
Our relationship has always been superb and very equal. She has (in my opinion) submissive tendencies, and I tend toward being dominant, but we still decided to take things slow and experiment by assigning one of us to be dominant on a particular day and then switching to the other person next time. For example, I might be dominant all day on Thursday, and then she would get all day on Sunday. That has been fun, but we recently discussed that we would like to extend the dominance (probably mine) for much longer periods of time.
Our situation is unusual for two reasons: first, we have a 2-year-old son and a daughter due in November. Second, we have a large old 6-bedroom house, and we rent out 4 of those 6 bedrooms through Airbnb. So we have guests in the house nearly every day of the year. (Luckily, sound doesn’t travel well from one room to another.)
Anyway, that’s just some insight into my situation. I’ve been enjoying the website so far and hope to learn much more!
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6 Replies
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Brian,
Welcome to Husdom sir you have found a community with a vast amount of information at your fingertips. It is not uncommon at all to switch between the sub and dominant to see which suits the two of you best many members have started the same way. I am interested in how that turns out for you in the end. I myself have 4 kids that range from the ages of 5 to 11 although I am benefited with no neighbors I know how the affects of neighbors, kids and pregnancy can play on and relationship/dynamic. Remember in starting out not everything that works for others will work for you and to have fun its not ment to be a race. Hope to see you in chat soon enjoy your weekend sir.Highest Regards,
Grey Wolf -
Hey Brian,
How have things been going now that you are a few months in?
Sincerely,
Greyson
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Ello Brian
I have 3 little ones under 9 myself. It can be difficult but workable as long as you all are respectfull and as with us the kids always come first. Sound does travel a bit in my house but if its normal than its normal for the little ones. This place is a great place to cme and ask any questions. We might even be able to answer them 🙂
Still
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Mr. Greyson,
Thank you for asking. I had been meaning to post an update on here when I had the chance.
Shortly after my post above, Keiki and I decided to try D/s-M for a continuous week. We agreed that we would then take a full day off and, at the end of the day, discuss and decide whether to do more. The short version is that the week went well, and during the day off we were both missing our new dynamic, so we agreed to resume D/s-M and continue indefinitely. Since then, it has been somewhat more than a month, and we both love it and have no intention of stopping.
Of course, there are plenty of details that this short version leaves out. For example, my wife’s pregnancy (our daughter is due 7 weeks from today) causes her to have mood swings. There are days when this normally-unflappable woman has huge emotional highs and lows that she can’t explain. I obviously have to modify my practices to accommodate that. For another example, I picked out a personalized collar for Keiki recently, and when I put it on her, I discovered that she hated its style. We ended up agreeing to purchase a second one for her to wear on certain occasions, but only if she is able to save enough money in the next month that we can afford it.
I have certainly made mistakes. Sometimes I have been less observant than I should have been, and sometimes I have made assumptions that would have been safe when Keiki wasn’t pregnant but don’t quite work right now. We’ve both read several good books and lots of posts on Husdom and Submrs that helped a lot. Altogether, we’ve learned a lot and look forward to continuing far into the future.
Brian
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Still,
Thanks for your insights. So far, our two-year-old son makes things easy for us by going to bed ontime and sleeping like a rock all night. He has hardly ever woken up at night since he was two months old. Whether our soon-to-arrive daughter will be the same is an open question, and we will undoubtedly have to address the kids’ knowledge and opinions in the future.
As I have told Keiki, part of what I enjoy about our D/s-M is that it helps me to feel more involved in what’s going on at home while I’m at work. Keiki is a full-time mom, so she has much more time at home with our son than I do. By giving her rules to follow and tasks to complete while I’m at work (nothing strenuous, of course, since she’s pregnant), I get to feel like I’m part of the activities at home. Plus, some of the rules I’ve given her (for example, to text me whenever she leaves the house or returns home) give me more information on how the day is going for her and our son.
If I’m being brutally honest, D/s-M probably also makes me feel like I have control over at least someone in our home, since heaven knows our toddler takes orders from no-one. 🙂
Brian
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Brian,
I’m still laughing at you last statement. Just think when this one gets out of toddler land your daughter will be entering it.
It sounds like you have a true hold on being a leader. D/s can be hard when your sub is pregnant and also after the little one is born. Having a toddler, a new baby, and a tired wife/sub with the after birth hormonal swings things can get topsy turvy. If you find yourself getting discouraged please get ahold of one of the members on the site. Many of us have gone thru this and some have young ones and babies now. The ladies on lk’s subMRS site can help Keiki also. They are a great group of subs.
You say that “I have certainly made mistakes.” All of us have Sir, sometimes our greatest advances come from making mistakes and correcting them.
Enjoy the journey Sir
Buck
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