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Anxious to learn and put into practice
Greetings all! I seem to naturally trend towards the assertive/dominant role in the bedroom and overall in my marriage, which has been a great fit for my wife’s personality who is naturally submissive, wants someone to take make the decisions, and of course loves when I get rough and ravage her until she begs a break from the barrage of orgasms.
Though sadly over our 10 year marriage I have grown complacent in my skills because when it was time to have sex, I knew almost exactly what would happen…which was great for her but had resulted in me becoming bored, restless, insatiable, etc. I finally reached an alarming point as I stared into the abyss of wondering if I had married the wrong person or since I travel often to the same locations throughout the year just find someone else to meet those needs. Neither option appealed to me because I firmly believe we are better off together so many ways and I am no good at keeping secrets or lying.
I had been waiting for her to take the reigns and show or tell me what she likes, come with fresh ideas, and well that simply never materialized. So I finally had a heartfelt conversation with my wife about how I was feeling, owning up to where I was failing, where I needed her partnership, etc…we realize the years of being nice and sparing each other’s feelings had done no favors…so now we are working with more hard truth instead of watering it down or attempting to coat it with sugar–which is a lot harder than it sounds.
For my part it is time to work on myself by learning new skills and approaches that mesh well with my abilities and gifts, and of course what works well with our marriage.
It ought to be a VERY interesting journey from here on out and I’m very happy to have found this community where I can learn and become a better husband and develop into a husDOM.
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3 Replies
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Good Evening Frog Prince and welcome to husDOM-
It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress on your mind. I am happy that you were able to focus on your relationship and had the strength and trust to discuss your feelings with your wife. Honestly, that is the foundation of the D/s-M dynamic in many respects – love, trust, honesty, respect…without these the relationship truly cant flourish and grow.
The discussion you speak of can be difficult but burying who you are and hiding that from your love is even more difficult and damaging in the long run. Again I am happy that you were able to have that discussion. It does not have to be a difficult conversation if you are speaking from your heart and you take it slow. Make sure you are both aligned and that you both share your feelings. There is no right or wrong in how you establish your dynamic – all of us are unique and all of our relationships are unique. What matters is that you both are aligned and you respect the boundaries and limits each partner has.
I would surmise that since your wife did not take the reigns she is more inclined to be submissive which is what you want – now the next step is for you to take the reigns and work on earning her submission. Remember that her submission to you is her gift to you…and with most gifts that has to be earned. Leading by example and communicating will earn you major points in my humble opinion.
Very happy to have you here on site Sir and look forward to catching up with you on chats and hearing more about your dynamic journey!
all the best to you and your submissive Sir.
Mr. G8tr -
Thanks G8tr! It will be a great journey.
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Frog Prince,
Welcome aboard!
What a wonderful introduction for your entry into our community. It would appear to me that you and your submissive already posses many of the attributes that contribute to a solid foundation.
The value that you have placed on honesty coupled with the open and honest communication that you two are sharing has really resonated with me. These are important fundamental attributes that sometimes prove more difficult to actually posses than otherwise.
I enjoyed our chat last night and look forward to chatting more as we share our experiences about our journeys.
Best wihses
Mr Fox
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