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And another intro
Life stories can get boring, so I’ll make it quick. I’m “Grimm” and my wife of 20 is my doll. 5 kids, all but are gone. An autistic 18 year old and a 20 year old daughter are still at home both in college. My mom stays with us as well.
Both of us are 46, and luckily rack look 10 years younger.
We’ve had the normal trials of a vanilla life. Great sex that came and the would disappear, only to reemergence again…
Both of us had high libidos until my wife hit 40. Once we’d start she was a crazed banshee, but getting her going was tough. So many distractions.
Then little hints would surface like “harder” or I liked it when you pulled my hair” when 50 shades came out so did she.With the house clearing out some she’s realized she wants to submit, be free, and trusts me enough to be her master. WOW.
My deal was I was taught , like many of us, to treat a woman as a fragile jewel, while being less masculine. Likewise, women would suppress their natural self and in many ways it works well. But for us, sex satisfied but their was still a layer of intimacy that was left to be discovered. I think that she finally discovered and became comfortable with herself enough to know submitting isn’t weakness. She’s a very strong personality, and she’s expressed that it’s exhausting.
So she began reading stories on the Kindle and D/s really appealed. I think she’s evolving and subconsciously will wind up 24/7 when able.
At any rate she was too afraid to tell me. Secretly she yearned, giving hints that I heard but didn’t understand at first. I thought she specifically wanted a certain act.” Okay I’ll be more rough”. One night, after I’d once again practically made the world turn backwards in order for us to have sex, she acted like she was sure if she was into it.
After what I’d been through to make the night possible I wasn’t about to roll over and say “no problem, I understand”. I looked at and told her straight up what she was going to do. And wham! The lights came on.
Afterward’s we began talking like we were on our 3rd date, and she opened up. Now several days later, I’ve discovered I am a natural, albeit very green Dom. I just never understood or knew it.
I cannot stress enough the power that the very idea of a new lifestyle has had on her. It’s as if her eyes have lit up and she radiates from within. We’d lived 20 years vanilla and been fine, but now the opportunity to take our love and intimacy to a new level is almost intoxicating… Like the day after the first date.
I see so many ways this will bring us even closer as a couple. And even more importantly, ways to be stronger individuals. I’ve always worn emotion on my sleeve , and this will teach me temperance. My wife is the opposite. Stoic and introverted she’s never allowed herself to be vulnerable, to open up fully, or communicate. (ie 5 years to mention any of this,lol). So as a new Dom. I want to learn as much as I can to do this right for her. And for us.It’s so much more than just sex. Let’s be honest the sex will be killer, but I’m drawn to her trusting me , submitting to me, choosing me to rule her. Ok that’s my novel. I hope to learn from everyone. I have a lot to catch up with.
Thank you,
Grimm1Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
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4 Replies
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Sorry about my phone’s spell check^^^^
Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
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Welcome, from another ‘noob’. That moment, when “the lights go on” is fking awesome! Like you, I’m figuring out where to go from here with it, what our…preferences are going to be. But now that the road is finally open, the journey is going to be a lot of fun!
D1
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It’s truly a head slap moment, ain’t it? The road to personal growth begins. Welcome to the club.
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As with many newer Dominants one of the first hurdles we have to take on is the changing of our mindset from that of a Vanilla male to a Dominant. This can prove to be difficult as we have been taught to think a certain way. I wrote a post that deals with this very subject and i think it might be useful to you. Welcome and good look on your journey.
https://husdom.com/dominant-forums/topic/equality-vs-equity-as-it-pertains-to-th-ds-dynamic/
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