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85 Days and Counting
Good evening all, and hope this finds you and your submissive doing well and staying healthy these days.
I wanted to share something with you that lp and I have been working on for a few months now. We have been in a 24/7 D/s-M Dynamic for two and a half years now, which seems amazing at times to me. Our Dynamic has seen a job change for both of us, as well as a move to another country. We’ve found D/s to be invaluable for times like those, and really for all times at this point. It’s simply who we are.
Different people use different rituals or protocols in their Dynamics, and I’m not sure where I would place us overall on that spectrum. We do have an entire room of the house (not our bedroom) set up for play and scenes — and like many of you, we have some rituals that have stuck with us the whole time, some that we’ve enhanced, some that we’ve gotten rid of because they weren’t a beneficial fit for us.
But recently, we discussed a new possibility. lp actually brought the idea up, not knowing if it was feasible, so she asked. What we discussed, initially, was intentionally having sex in one form or another for 7 straight days. Just to prioritize it and make it a regular habit. We settled instead on a 10 day experiment. Today……..is Day #85.
I mention it here because it is fascinating what you and your partner may learn when you make sex (again, in one form or another — don’t do the same routines over and over again, although this group is a creative one!) a daily priority.
My biggest fear when we began was that we might very soon start to view daily sex as “routine”, and make it akin to taking out the trash or brushing your teeth. I’m happy to report that it’s possible to go at least this many days without it being routine, and thus my biggest concern turned out to be not much of a concern at all.
But besides the enjoyment of it, what have we actually learned? A few things worth sharing:
1- You communicate with your submissive in a lot of non-verbal ways. Having a daily connection like this is great communication practice.
2- You both have some great ideas that I can almost guarantee the other partner hasn’t thought of or doesn’t know about. As a practical example, lp had a health issue several weeks ago that we needed to adjust for, literally and figuratively. No worries, we knew because this was every day that we needed to talk about it, she was comfortable bringing it up at the right time, and we wound up with an entirely new experience that we would have missed out on had we simply said “not today”, or just not listened.
3- Scenes or more elaborate play become highlight events. We learned this about 40-50 days in — I would compare it to going to one of those multi-stage music festivals where yeah all the bands are generally pretty good, but you’re really into seeing a particular one or two. You enjoy the headliner more because you’re already surrounded by good music! I had a particularly extensive scene drawn up around Day 45 or so, and part of what made it all the better was us both knowing —- there’s no days off, before or after. See? Good music everywhere.
4- You’ve reinforced for your submissive that she never needs to worry about how/when/where. For some, this is a long-since learned lesson. For others, this is a relief of a revelation. Busy day? Long day? Stressful day? Doesn’t matter. You have at least one consistent, daily thing that you’ll be doing, together, no matter what. And your submissive can do all the other things that might demand her time or her attention knowing that you’re taking care of this part.
5- You’ll sleep better. No matter how you sleep now, you will sleep better doing this.
This type of thing isn’t for everyone, for sure. But I would encourage you, if you can, to take any set period of time — remember we started by discussing 7 days — to intentionally have sex each day. You are already brushing your teeth and changing your clothes each day, might as well add something even better to that list.
And from here? We plan to have a lengthy discussion after we cross the 100-day plateau about possibly extending out to a year. I can think of worse things to shoot for with lp, for sure!
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Thanks for the update. I am curious, how does this work for your dynamic when one or both of you are under the weather or she is on her cycle. We do something most days and my minx also enjoys not having to think about sex but knowing I will initiate how and when I choose but I typically ramp down during her cycle and will give nights off if she is particularly tired or under the weather (note this is MY decision, not hers as she has trusted me with this decision).
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Both good questions. And both were things that we didn’t think much about when it was a 7-10 day idea. But you’re right, as the weeks become months, you have to adjust.
As for when on cycle, the easiest solution for us was to move to other parts of the proverbial playbook.
When it came to being under the weather, the main thing was finding comfortable positions, although that’s only been a couple of the days out of the 85. Far trickier than occasional under the weather is the fact that lp has a long-term issue with lung capacity so she has to be watched closely in terms of positions that put strain on/around the torso. And it’s always been that way, so doing a little adjusting if someone isn’t feeling great isn’t too bad. It might mean a relatively short amount of time some days, but that’s Ok, there’s always tomorrow.
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We just completed number 118 of what started out as a possible 60 day challenge. We keep track of the number of times we have sex (oral or vaginal) over the days. We use some days to get ahead to cover for sick days or an occasional day off. The 118 times (117 vaginal) have been over 111 days. It was in the middle of the emotional intimacy developed in the challenge that we agreed to change to a B/s-M dynamic. You are right about the better connection with daily sex.
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