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Hello. Went from topping from the bottom to just topping
Hello all. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your group and providing a platform to learn the techniques and skills of transforming into the HusDom I hope to be. This journey has actually taken Andie and myself 22 years. We started full cpl swap same room swinging 13 years ago. We have had mfm, fmf, and I have had multiple mistresses with Andies consent. We have read the FSOG novels together and that is how we started and first learned about BDSM and D/s relationships. I had pushed Andie into Domme role since she was always strong willed and in control. But she lacked the ability to initiate sex or create scenes. We ventured into as far as pegging which we both enjoy. But I most of the time ended up topping from the bottom. It was frustrating. I didn’t feel she cared or loved me because she lacked the creative skills in our sex life and rarely to initiative. I also really never felt like I was in the right place being submissive to her. We are not a 24/7 cpl. We are weekend warriors and a bedroom D/s. About a month ago it was like a light switch. I told her that I was no longer going to allow her to call the shots in our sex life. That I was going to take control and determine when, how, how long and where we are going to have sex. I also told her that I no longer want to have sexual relations with anyone else but her. She was allowing me to have sex with other women so she didn’t have to make sexual decisions and I was able to be fulfilled sexually. We both felt empty and we were falling away from each other. Taking control of this part of my life and working toward a D/s marriage even in just the bedroom has changed our marriage. It has changed my own self esteem and confidence. You see I have come to realize that Andie had never been taught how to give me what I want. She did not have the tools to provide my sexual needs. And all this time I had simply assumed that every woman, especially my wife of 18 years knew how to be kinky and know how to make our axe life full of energy. So the end game for us in this is for me to teach her. To equip her with these tools to allow her to be able to learn what her limits are. To be pushed to her limits. To be able to experience new sexual situations and to develop her own skill set to be able to fulfill her own sexual wants and needs while meeting my own sexual needs and desires. This site and many of the comments that I have read so far will help me accomplish this. Thank you. Bpsaff
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