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Introduction, and an Advocate for Male Dominance
Hello everyone,
I came upon this site a few days ago and am happy to have learned of its existence.
I have been in the lifestyle for approximately 22 years. Started dabbling with it while still in school, and had a few gf’s with whom I would experiment … exploring the BDSM activities and discovering what most interested me.
I ended up marrying my last college gf. We dated for 7 years, and have been married for another 17. A long time together, but a wonderful time.
Our relationship was initiated with a BDSM session, and the kink has been a part of our lives ever since.
From reading profiles of other Husdom.com members, my entrance into the Male Dominance / female submissive lifestyle appears to have taken a different approach than most in light to the fact that the sexual component of a Male dom relationship was present in my marriage 7 years before my wife and I married.
However, like many other members have shared, the lifestyle aspect come as somewhat of a surprise.
My wife found herself increasingly frustrated from the turmoil her professional career and societal expectations imposed on her. She realized that the post women’s suffrage / current feminist movement was in conflict with her personal desires.
She grew up in a male-authority household as a child, and was comfortable with it.
She fell in love with a man, and yearned for the ability to allow herself to assume the classical and historic ‘feminine’ role in a heterosexual relationship.
She seeks the protection of her male companion when physically threatened, and the peace that a strong, guiding hand lends to a family.
She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom for the care of our child.
And she is perfectly comfortable in managing the ‘home’ while her male spouse provides for the ‘house’.Against this backdrop of wants, she struggled with what she calls the male-bashing, emasculating and gender role-bending cultural phenomenon that is western society.
And one day, she had suffered enough with the internal conflict she was having and found the courage to reject the societal ideals that were being imposed upon her.
She came home one evening from work and expressed interest in readjusting the balance of our relationship.
She wanted to be the stay at home mom and wife, but she also wanted to be ‘led’ by her male spouse.
She needed to be ‘protected’ and ‘provided for’ by a man, her man, and she, in turn, wanted … no, needed … to be in service to her protector and provider.It took time to realign the dynamics of what was then a 12 year marriage.
We had to revisit every assumption of responsibilities, who would do what, when, and how.And, I had to learn how to slowly assert my dominance over her while still being respectful of her as my partner, best friend, wife, and mother of my child.
5 years later, things are great.
She herself will freely state that these have been the most ‘peaceful’ and fulfilling years of our relationship.She is a collared submissive … after 2 years of training on protocol, discipline, behavior, and sexual service.
She is my sexual slave … does whatever I want, whenever and where ever I want.
The sexual aspect, I have learned, is one of the most important aspects our our Husdom relationship … as it feeds her most intimate and animalistic needs. From there, all other aspects of her submission are reinforced via conditioning.She is my service submissive, and tends to my non-sexual needs. She has lists of chores and obligations, and there are consequences if they are not performed.
She ended up quitting her job in order to fully ‘let go’ to her needs to be dominated by me.
It has not been easy (financially difficult) but has been the final aspect of her ‘release of control’ and full submission to me.We now are active in our local BDSM community, and share our experiences … easy and hard, good and difficult … with our friends and acquaintances.
I will end this intro here …
Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have regarding my relationship with my sub/wife, the dynamics of our marriage in a 24/7 Husdom lifestyle, or anything else that may be of interest.
D_H
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6 Replies
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Nice to meet you DH. Sounds like you guys have fun.. Also after reading this seems that’s what my DLW desires. Sounds like I’ve got a chatting point! thanks!
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Glad to hear that my background and experience may have been of assistance to you.
D_H
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Deep Horizon,
Welcome aboard…
The ‘lifestyle’ to me is not the BDSM, as the lifestyle is D/s-M. It is the relationship side of the equation. Anyone can swing a flogger, spank a bottom, or tie someone up but it takes a real commitment and patience to live a D/s-M lifestyle.
One thing that you will discover here as well is that our community is role specific and not gender specific.
From what I gathered from your introduction is that you have been 24/7 for approximately 5 years. That is great and something to be quite proud of.
I look forward to chatting with you soon.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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Mr. Fox.
Thanks for the clarification regarding the gender-neutral nature of the site.
Noted !D_H
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Welcome to HusDOM. It sounds like you and your submrs are in a good place. Be sure and introduce her to the companion site submrs.com when you feel it’s appropriate. Good stuff for the subbies over there.
5 years is a milestone I believe. It would be interesting at some point to hear about the times you have ebbed; causes and solutions. I feel like many of us here want to get to 5 years but navigating the ebbs and flows seem to be front and center for most of us.
While we are not gender centered, there are very few Domme’s that tend to hang out for very long. I do not believe we have a “good ole boys club” here. But it might appear that way at first glance. All are welcome.
On our few times out in the local scene, I’ve seen/met a large number of Domme. So there is somewhat of a disconnect there.
Again welcome. -
Thanks Tex.
Agreed that 5 years is significant.
Definitely a lot of ebbs and flows … primarily due to outside (outside of my sub and I) events and influences.Vacations, elementary school child and their school-related activities and academic interests, child’s sports and other interests, blood family, illnesses, work matters (travel, stress, drama) all distract from the near full time job of supervising and dominating a submissive.
Regular touch point are used in my relationship to ensure the key focal items (subservience, respect, attention, etc) are in place and regularly practiced.
We have gone sometime several days without even a hint of the lifestyle dynamics dur to distractions and, at times, lack of privacy (child present, family visiting, work travel).
So, when we do have time back together again, just us 2, we quickly and intentionally spend time to ‘reset’ the dynamics and expectations.D_H
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